'AITA for standing up for myself after an estranged friend told me she’s pregnant?'

"AITA for standing up for myself after an estranged friend told me she’s pregnant?"

I (31F) haven’t heard from my college best friend (29F) since June. For context, my dog passed and she ghosted me, which she also did when my dad passed a few years prior. I’d made peace with it after therapy and know people can only meet you as much as they’ve met themselves.

Well, last week she reached out out of the blue. I respectfully expressed how she hurt my feelings and how it’s shocking to hear from her and that her actions made me feel like s#$t, during the darkest moments of my life.

Well this week she’s telling me she’s pregnant, and that I’m going to be an aunt.

Would I be TA if I simply said “congrats, and good luck with that” and left it at that. Quite frankly, I’m not interested in giving this person another chance and don’t feel like being manipulated into a friendship via a child.

UPDATE: I said “congratulations, I wish your new fam the best.”

She said: wow really?

I said: at least I didn’t ghost you!

And blocked her.

Thanks for the support ????

The internet had a lot of thoughts to share.

Berthabutz wrote:

Did she apologize when you expressed your feelings?

OP responded:

Nope. The door to that convo was opened on march 1st, but I didn’t hear from here after I said she hurt my feelings until today when she said she was pregnant.

ERVetSurgeon wrote:

NTA. Good for you. She is thinking of baby gifts and free babysitting which is likely why she got in touch with you. Stay NC, she was never a real friend.

NanaGeorgianna wrote:

My best friend ghosted me twice. It was so hurtful the first time. I cried for a month she was like no other friend I have ever had. When we started talking the second time it was never the same. Then after a couple of years she ghosted me again. She is known to ghost people so I know it is her MO. If she ever calls me again I will block her number. I love her, but nope. Not happening again.

Tasty-Answer8183 wrote:

NTA. She's not a friend if she's never there when you actually need her. It seems like she only remembered you because she knows raising a baby with a village is way easier, so suddenly you're an 'aunt' ?

I'd just text her something like: I stopped considering you my best friend when you ghosted me months ago when I needed you. You don't get to show up now and call me an 'aunt'. Congrats on your pregnancy but I won't be a part of yours or your baby's lives. Then I'd block her ?‍♀️

Raspbers wrote:

Yikes, I had a girl do something similar. Friend from high school, honestly very annoying but she was super nice. We ended up connecting on facebook, she invited me to her baby shower but I said I was busy that day or going out of town or something because we truly were NOT that close. Like not in the least. We'd just been in the same schools most our life and hung out in a similar crowd of anime kids.

Anyway, we decide to do lunch and she starts talking about what kind of gift I could bring to her IN THE HOSPITAL after she had the baby. I was dumbfounded. Like this delusional lady ( her kid is white and hispanic and they named him Sanosuke after her favorite anime character, kind of delusional ) that I just started talking to on FB wants is telling me she expects a gift in the hospital after birth. She found herself quickly blocked and I never spoke to her again. NTA in the least.

pickelets_for_tea wrote:

I had one of those friends. I wrote her CV from scratch and individually crafted each job application. It was hours of work. She got a job, yay. When I asked her to be a referee in my job search, she agreed, and then complained that she was getting too many phone calls.

She married quickly and when they split (temporarily) within a few months, she would call me at work for a listening ear so often that I was reprimanded. When they reconciled, she only contacted me once to meet for coffee and that was to ask for another favour. I moved overseas and fortunately fell off her radar. Some people are users.

differentpen6715 wrote:

NTA. I expect she wanted something from you… a place to live? Baby gifts or wants you to throw her a shower? Maybe as an honorary auntie you get to babysit? You have moved on and she can go kick rocks.

amw38961 wrote:

NTA...good for you. Hell, it's March now so that means she went almost a year not talking to you. "Congrats" is all I would've said too....she just showed you what type of friendship you have.

One where she only calls when she needs you to do something for her. The fact that she ghosted you when you had major life events happen tells you everything you need to know b/c ghosting you after your dad passed away is sh#$ty.

Top_Function_2530 wrote:

NTA. Seems like you've already resolved this for yourself, but allow me to reinforce that you're not in the wrong. If you were best friends, your distress at her sudden disappearance from your life is not only justified, but predictable.

She cannot reappear and expect forgiveness, especially without explaining her actions. Whether you request an explanation and rekindle the relationship or refuse to give her the time of day and tell her to go on her way-- you are justified in doing so.

Also, I don't understand how your old friend can ghost her best friend during a hard time in OP's life (it'd be more understandable if she disappeared when she herself was hurting), reappear years later, and not offer an explanation? To me, her lack of any apology or recollection of events is the most jarring part of this story, like what she did was normal or understandable?