I (16f) live with my mom my stepdad my twin sister my little brother, my little sister and my older brother for the time being. I cook I clean I make sure my. (8f) sister my(14m) brother and my (16f) twin sister are all up for school in the morning and on top of all of that I work and go to school myself. Yesterday, I told my mom that I need a mental health day because I literally do everything.
She looked at me like I had three heads and asked me what do I do. I just got so mad, I snapped I packed a bag and I left the house. I stayed at my boyfriend‘s house for like three days. I didn’t answer a single text a call or anything. I just need to day for myself and after the three days were up. I went home and it was a mess everywhere.
My room was a mess. The kitchen was a mess. The living room was a mess everything and the first thing my mom told me when I walked in the house was clean it up. And then I yelled at her and I told her just because you work and you pay the bills does it mean that you can stop with your motherly duties.
I shouldn’t be taking care of everybody in the house and then myself I’m only 16. She said you’re the older sister you should be doing this stuff anyways and I told her that I am a twin and there’s other people in this house that can clean up and do all the other stuff. So AITA?
Virtuallcutiepie wrote:
NTA. You're 16, not a built-in babysitter/maid. Your mom needs to step up too, especially when you’ve got your own stuff to handle. Mental health days are SO important, and it’s unfair that you’re expected to be the only one keeping things together.
One_Reflection_5877 wrote:
NTA. You’re literally doing too much for your age. You deserve a break, and your mom shouldn’t expect you to be the only one holding it all down. It’s not just your job to take care of everything. She needs to step up, too. Don’t feel bad for needing a mental health day.
Bluegreen_1956 wrote:
NTA
Your mother has kids but expects you to be their mother. Uh, nope.
Dizzy-Bowl-900 wrote:
NTA.
This is called parentification, and I am sorry you are going through it. It sucks, and it's one of the main reasons people will estrange from their families as they get older and see how ridiculous their parents were.
Maroongrad wrote:
NTA in the slightest. See if you can go back to your boyfriend's for a couple more days. And before you do? Take a bunch of pictures of all the mess. Put it online. "I have siblings that are 16, 14, and 8.
And yet, I am the ONLY ONE who is expected to cook, clean, get them all ready for school, do laundry, everything. AND go to school myself. I took three days off, and came back to THIS. And now they expect me to clean up their messes, again. Not. Happening. Not anymore."
karla_sky12 wrote:
NTA. You’re clearly doing a lot, and it’s understandable that you’d need a break. It’s unfair for your mom to expect you to take on so much responsibility, especially when there are other people in the house who could help. You’re allowed to prioritize your mental health, and it’s not your job to do everything. Your mom’s reaction seems out of touch with the reality of what you’re balancing.
babyygirlly wrote:
NTA. You're a child, not a stand-in parent. It’s unfair and overwhelming to expect you to take care of the house and your siblings when you also have your own needs and responsibilities, especially at just 16.
While everyone should contribute to a household, there's a big difference between helping out and being burdened with adult responsibilities. Your mom's dismissive response shows a lack of understanding of the stress she's putting on you.
Parentification—making a child take on the role of a parent—is emotionally damaging, and you have every right to advocate for yourself. You're asking for balance, not neglecting responsibilities altogether. Stay strong and consider finding someone you trust to talk to about this, like a counselor or relative. You deserve support too.
Late-Hat-9144 wrote:
NTA, parentifying your children is child ab-se...what your mother is doing IS ab-sive. Just clean up after yourself and that's it. It's not your responsibility to cook and clean for everyone everyday.
It's not your responsibility to take care of your siblings, making them meals and getting them ready for school. I'd suggest speaking with your schools counsellor (if you have one) and see if they can help you.
FluffyZest wrote:
NTA. You're 16, not a third parent. Helping out is one thing, but carrying the whole house while going to school and working is unfair. Your mom can’t just opt out of parenting because she pays the bills being a parent includes emotional and physical support for the family. It’s not wrong to expect her to step up.