'AITA for telling all my family that if I'm babysitting for free there are no rules?'
"AITA for telling all my family that if I'm babysitting there are no rules?"
My family tends to stick me (F18) with my nieces and nephews when we get together. I am also the go to for babysitting. I do not get paid for this because since my siblings watched me when I was little I owe them.
I don't really mind. I love all the kids and they are well behaved and polite. With me at least because I don't put up with their shit. I established dominance early with all of them.
I also have no fs to give when it comes to the rules regarding watching them.
I would never allow them to get hurt or anything. I just won't follow a huge list of rules. If you want your kid to eat vegan then you better bring a vegan meal for them. Otherwise they get pizza. Or Dino nuggets. Or hot dogs. If they aren't allowed to watch "woke" movies or tv then it's up to you to provide a tv and media because I'm putting on Frozen or something.
My parents keep telling me that I have to follow the rules when I'm babysitting. I just keep asking why? What's the worst anyone can do to me? Take away my free babysitting? Oh poor me? We are in Jasper right now and it's been hot as balls. So I took the kiddos cliff jumping at horseshoe lake. I brought them back wet and filthy.
Everyone told me that I was being a babysitter. I offered a full refund. Then I went and got a drink with some friends I made at the lake. I have a full scholarship. When I turned 18 I also got a small inheritance. It's enough that I won't have to work for spending money during my university years and put a down payment on a house. I'll probably leave it though. I literally do not need financial help from my family.
So they have no hold over me. My siblings and I all got the exact same inheritance. Except I was only three when my grandmother passed away so it's been collecting compound interest for almost twenty years. My trust fund is about four times what my siblings each got. My family thinks I'm being entitled but they also won't pay me. I am more than willing to follow any rule I am paid to follow.
Commenters had a lot to say in response.
Mountain-link-1296 wrote:
Well, NTA. But an inheritance that gets you through college spending money and a house down payment isn't "small." You seem to have your head screwed on right, are fortunate materially, and have a good attitude. I'm sure you'll make your way in life.
OP responded:
I can't live off it. I won't be a trustafarian.
warclonex wrote:
NTA. I do not get paid for this because since my siblings watched me when I was little I owe them. No, you dont get paid because they are entitled. They did this for your parents, not you. You owe them nothing for looking after you (on a technicality) in a sense.
Nothing you have mentioned I would consider over the top, except maybe the cliff jumping depending on ages and height? Your situation with finances aside, if they want a list of rules, they can pay someone to follow them.
OP responded:
The "cliffs" start at about three feet. I'm not looking to get them hurt.
Limp-Star2137 wrote:
NTA. "I offered a full refund. Then I went and got a beer..." this made me lmao. You've got everything sorted, don't actually owe them anything, but are still gracious enough to babysit cause you love the kids.
Ita 100% on the parents to provide alternatives. Congrats on the scholarship!
C_Visit_927 wrote:
NTA. If anyone owes them free babysitting, it’s your parents, not you. You are 18. You don’t have to babysit, you have explained your parameters for babysitting, and by dropping off their kids they are agreeing.
Reconsider underage drinking, though.
OP responded:
I'm an adult. 18 is the legal drinking age. If it were my thing I could buy green.
jackalopeisa2nicorn wrote:
There are two kinds of help, good help and free help.
OP responded:
I give the kids back alive and fed. That's not bad.
PandaCotton wrote:
NTA.
"I do not get paid for this because since my siblings watched me when I was little I owe them."
You don't owe them anything for something that happened when you were a child and had no say in the matter. That's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard. You're not being paid or even volunteering to look after these children. You're not putting them in danger. They're having fun. They're fed and safe. If your family wants a fancy personalized babysitting service, they can hire a professional nanny.
New-Dentist-7346 wrote:
NTA.
I personally have a problem with people using their kids as free babysitters because of how I was treated. From my perspective about respect. First, you don’t owe bunk.
Second, you should always be asked if you're available and willing. It should not be expected. I have a 15, a 14, and an eight year old. They love babysitting because honestly they can eat whatever’s around and play whatever or watch whatever. If everyone is alive when I get home - awesome. Good job.
My mum remarried when I was 12 and had another kid when I was 15 and one when I was 16. I practically raised them. I love them dearly, but it should not have been my responsibility to raise other people’s kids for free- literally all the time. Now if you’re offering occasionally, that’s one thing. But it should not be expected that you will just do whatever whenever because you owe them.
Side note: when I had my first kid I was hyper about babysitters and wrote a four page instructions letter. Now I fully realize that was bonkers. Seriously, if everyone is alive when I get home. I’m happy. If they are asleep I’m ecstatic.
Also, no rules makes you the best aunt ever.
6000_years wrote:
Definitely NTA. Your family is taking advantage of you. They can't demand free labor and strict rule adherence simultaneously. If they want specific care, they should pay for it. Your approach makes sense, the kids are safe, fed, and entertained. Their entitlement is showing. Stick to your boundaries.
OP responded:
My family is taking advantage but I don't care. I'm not parentified. I'm free babysitting. In return I get to be a bad influence. I agreed to the trade off.