'AITA for telling my girlfriend 'I told you so' and then dumping her over her male best friend?'

"AITA for telling my girlfriend 'I told you so' and then dumping her over her male best friend?"

I’m 26 years old and male. My girlfriend (now ex) is 25. We dated for a year. I’ll call her Cindy. When Cindy and I started dating, she told me early on that she had a male best friend, Greg. For the record, I need to say here that I fully believe that a man and a woman can have a completely platonic and mutually rewarding friendship without either ever acting inappropriately.

About six months after we started dating, Cindy finally introduced me to Greg. We went to a restaurant to get some drinks and food. I really liked Cindy, and so I was naturally excited to meet her best friend. When we showed up at the restaurant, immediately after shaking my hand, Greg compared his height to mine. I’m 5’9, and he is something like 6’2.

He did that thing that elementary school students do where they put their palm on the top of their head and move it out in a straight line. He was demonstrating that he was much taller than me. I chuckled, thinking it was just in line with his personality, and Cindy got a laugh out of it too.

Over dinner, Greg contradicted me on virtually everything I said. He was relentless. I’d talk about something for about 30 seconds, and he’d move his head to the side and say, “Well…,” then going into details about how I was wrong. Cindy seemed to be having a good time though, so I sucked it up.

But what bothered me more than anything was the way he looked at Cindy. She must be the most obtuse person in the world to not notice. When she bent over to pick up her bag after dinner, he checked out her butt too. On the Uber ride home, Cindy and I got into an argument about Greg.

I said that I was really uncomfortable with her being friends with him. I then elaborated about everything: how he kept trying to one-up me, that he checked out her butt, how he looked at her. She said that I was being dramatic. The argument turned kind of nasty, and about a block away from our apartment, Cindy decided to get out.

In the unlikely event that our Uber driver is reading this, sorry man. I didn’t want to make things awkward for you. Cindy and I fought. We made up, and I thought I had convinced her that Greg was bad news. She agreed to distance herself from him.

Well, last night, I learned that she hadn’t. Cindy called me at 11:00 or so, clearly distraught, saying she needed a ride home. I asked what had happened, and she said, “Don’t be mad, but Greg tried to kiss me.”

I was admittedly kind of ticked off, but the tl;dr was: (1) Greg invited her over to his place for drinks, (2) Greg got her to drink a lot, (3) Greg went in for a kiss, (4) Cindy dodged him and left, (5) Greg first followed her until she screamed at him, drawing the attention of his neighbors.

Cindy was super drunk, and so after picking her up, I decided to talk about it with her in the morning. I organized my talking points in advance, but simply, after she woke up, I told her that she betrayed my trust by meeting Greg, I told her that he was a creep, and that our relationship was over.

Cindy is now calling me a victim-blamer. She's really upset about how I broke up with her when she was "sick" (see: hungover). AITA for ending a relationship like this?

The internet had a lot to say in response.

MightyShenDen wrote:

Okay let's get this straight. You started dating Cindy. Cindy has a male best friend - cool. After 6 months you got introduced to him - What? Why did it take so long to be introduced to a so called best friend? Usually that happens in like week one.

He immediately compares his height to yours - He's insecure, very. Cool.

He contradicted everything you said - He's insecure and has no social skills? Pick a struggle man. He doesn't stop checking her out - Who coulda guessed. You two argued about it - Well from the sounds of it you may have come off too strong.

It should go a little more simply "I didn't really find it comfortable how much he was checking you out, and I'm not sure if he disliked me, which he has no right to do yet since we just met, but he was very off putting to me, and i'd like to discuss that with you." She then agrees to distance herself from Greg, and then doesn't. - Welp you dodged a bullet by breaking up with her.

Her got her drunk to kiss her, and followed her??? - What a POS.

No you are NTA for ending the relationship and should have. She didn't respect your boundary, or believed you, which could have been worked on.

But more importantly she lied to you and distancing herself, which you could breakup for alone. Yes she's hungover, but she got drunk at Gregs which she lied to you about. Yes she was almost in a dangerous situation with him potentially, but she wasn't, and you have no reason why you should have to stay with her.

She's implying "I found out he was creepy, after lying to you about being close to him, like I agreed not to be, after not taking your warning seriously, why are you breaking up with me?" Like...uhhhhh????? Why do you think.

Aggravating-Pie-5565 wrote:

Let's be honest. You didn't break up with her because she almost got assaulted. You broke up with her because she told you that she'll keep her distance from Greg but not only she kept in contact with him but decided to hang out alone and drink with him. So that's lying, manipulation and idiotic added to the list of red flags. NTA.

FrostBittenOU812 wrote:

She went over his house with who knows what intentions, she chose to drink (unless he forced it down her gullet), and when he went in for a move a moment of clarity (oh sh#$t) brought her to reality. She did done wrong and has to deal with the break up song.

Massive-Bear-2911 wrote:

NTA. She’s trying to gaslight you into believing that you’re victim blaming her. Yes, Greg is a predator, but that is not why you broke up with her. You read the red flags and gave her warnings that her friend is not who she thinks he is. Cut to her being alone with him in his apartment AFTER saying she would distance herself from him.

It’s NOT okay that he was trying to take advantage of her. But that doesn’t absolve her of breaking your trust. Two things can be true at the same time. You can feel bad for what happened, but also uphold your boundaries and protect your peace.