'AITA for telling my grandparents I wish they'd always put their other grandkids first?'

"AITA for telling my grandparents I wish they'd always put their other grandkids first instead of pulling their support from me now?"

My life is crappy and now it's extra crappy and I'm feeling lost. I (17m) always knew my dad and siblings didn't like me very much. Mom died from pregnancy and birth complications with me and I figured that was why, they blamed me and they could never forgive me for it.

I was told repeatedly how they wished it had been me instead of her and I took mom from everyone. Even my dad would say it. They've all hit me before. A couple of my siblings have kicked me. My dad has broken stuff in front of me in anger.

But the reason isn't JUST the fact they blame me for mom. But I'm not dad's kid. He knew about it and he showed me the proof recently with a DNA test. He said mom had cheated and they'd agreed to stay together and put me up for adoption while telling anyone who knew mom was pregnant that she had lost the baby.

But then mom had such a difficult pregnancy everyone rushed to the hospital when she went into labor and he couldn't lie. So he took me home and protected mom's memory but he was disgusted by me every single day.

He told his kids the truth and they all hated me extra. My siblings were 7, 9 and 11 when I was born. He told me all about it and how he wanted nothing more to do with me as soon as I'm legal and he said if I ever exposed the fact mom cheated, by finding my biological father, and ruined her memory that he would make sure I regretted it every day for the rest of my life.

And he said how amazing she was and repulsive it was that I was left here instead of her. Despite everything I think my dad's side of the family knew always because they never treated me good.

When I was younger though my mom's parents would be nice to me, bought me things and they even got me a phone when I was 12 and a laptop that I still have. Out of everyone I knew in the family they were the only people who were nice to me and who didn't show that they hated having me around.

I wanted them around more so I could have someone be nice to me. It also made me less worried about stuff. But eventually my siblings started to complain about how our grandparents treated me and how they couldn't have them if they had a relationship with me and so they pulled back in the last few years.

And when I finally found out the truth from dad I went to them and asked if they'd let me stay with them until I was 18. They said no. They told me it would make my siblings angry and they couldn't lose them over me.

They said I should just make the best of it and it could be worse. I broke down and I told them I wish they'd always put them first because having the memory of them being nice to me made their rejection now worse. Because I realized how fake it all was and how I was so tired of nobody wanting me.

They got mad and told me I shouldn't be so self centered. They called my dad and he exploded when I got back home. To make it worse we're stuck inside together with one of his kids until the snow gets cleared. I don't even have my part time job to go to and my half sibling told me our grandparents are disgusted that I acted like such a petulant child in front of them. AITA?

The internet had a lot to say in response.

Sweet-interview5620 wrote:

Depending on what country you live in the UK you can legally leave home and be independent at 16. Call social services or child services tell them you unwanted and have spent your whole life ab-sed. That you can not live there any longer can they help you get benefits and out of that house. That if they don’t help you then you will just run away

Go talk to your teachers anything as they are mandated reporters. Even if you turn up at the police station and tell them you cannot take being abused and hated any more. That you can’t go back there to these people who’s abused you from the moment you were born. Also make it clear they are not your biological family so have no rights or in your life.

Get out now. I had a family member who was placed into a home for kids to learn to be independant and taught them how to take care of themselves. Their parents didn’t care about them at all and after being abandoned in hospital for a long time the authorities helped her get her own place.

For awhile she stayed in a house where adults monitor and teach you how to cook, budget etc but give you more and more independence before she got given an authority owned home of her own. She was 15/16 when they first placed her in this midway type place. So please don't think you have no options.

Alternately you could contact a DV charity and get help from them. As even the emotional ab-se makes you eligible. Places like these know all the benefits and how to get them. They have contacts and could work to free you or get you emancipated. They often have lawyers they have contact with for legal advice and help. They could help ensure you don’t have to go back.

wlfwrtr wrote:

Unfortunately you will be kicked out on your 18th birthday. Your only hope may be to get the copy of the dna test, photograph it and then do an online dna test to hopefully find a relative of your bio-dad. Let your dad know that things need to change at home because they've already ruined your life so you have no reason not to tell people about your mother. She would probably be disgusted with them all.

Moonlitbabe55 wrote:

You’ve been through more family drama than a reality TV show. If your life were a soap opera, I’d say it’s time for a plot twist where you suddenly discover you’re the long lost heir to a fortune. It seems like the only inheritance you’re getting is emotional baggage.

No_Use_9124 wrote:

You're almost 18. Try to make sure your grades are good, and you can expand your part time job to full time. Then leave. Leave them all behind. Talk to a counselor at school and have that person help you create a plan to get out.

Find a cool new place to live in another part of the country or the world and go there. Work. Go to school. Get a lot of therapy. Build a life. Never look back. Better days are ahead once you get rid of those t-xic ppl who have hurt you. Therapy is a must though. You do matter. NTA