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'AITA for telling my mom I'd rather move out instead of paying $600 a month rent?'

'AITA for telling my mom I'd rather move out instead of paying $600 a month rent?'


Few things cause as much universal conflict as money does, particularly, when it comes to the rising cost of living.

In a popular post on the AITA subreddit, the OP asked if they were frong for telling their mom they'd rather move out than pay $600 in rent. They wrote:

"AITA for telling my mom I will move out vs paying $600 a month rent?"

I'm 25-years-old, was paying $60 a week rent for a few years. I recently started a new temp job that pays pretty decent, and they decided to keep me with the company last week. This morning my mom texted me to say “Rent starts up again, $150 a week.” I just told her I will move out. I already pay for my own meals, I only have my small bedroom to call my own in their house.

I can rent a studio apartment 3 or 4 times the size of my room for a few hundred more, or could rent a room with friends for less than my mom is trying to charge me. It would be one thing if they cooked and cleaned for me every day and I was raking up their bills but I do my own thing, pay my own bills, I never really even cross paths with my parents besides when I am getting off work.

My mom's definitely pissed that I said that, I can tell. But I'm also upset the person who birthed me is trying to get me to pay what I would pay a landlord for rent just to sleep in her house. Even 100 a week I would have been more inclined to be okay with, but 600 a month just to be able to sleep at my parents house seems a little high.

If I am paying $600 a month I think I would deserve my own spaces around the house also as I would with a landlord, it seems having a landlord would be a better deal for me in this case.

The internet had a lot of comments and questions to add.

consolelog_a11y wrote:

"But I'm also upset the person who birthed me is trying to get me to pay what I would pay a landlord for rent just to sleep in her house."

Y'know, parents have bills and utilities to pay, also. You're only entitled to free room and board until you're a legal adult.

"If I am paying $600 a month I think I would deserve my own spaces around the house also as I would with a landlord."

Lol, if you can swing it for $600 go for it. Where I come from, $600/month would get you a shared bedroom, a half-bath, and access to a garden hose with a 3-minute shut-off timer to shower with.

Despite coming off a little naive, you're definitely NTA. I'm not sure why she would be angry unless she was genuinely depending on the income she got from you to pay bills. If she was only depending on it for luxuries and fun money, then she's extra AH-ish.

OP responded:

Yeah if it were a matter of making ends meet I wouldn't have any issue, my dad has a credit card in my name that he can use whenever he needs to catch up on something and doesn't have the money. Dad is the breadwinner in our house, my mom pays for vacations and a couple utilities but my dad pays for the mortgage, groceries and most of the bills.

Funny part is he doesn't want rent from me, it's my mom who wants it. It's part of why I am especially not keen on the idea. If they needed the money It wouldn't even be a question. They just got back from a two-week cruise and are planning another one so definitely not even close to struggling.

Yeah don't get me wrong the cheapest studio near me is closer to $900 and not the best area but still would have more privacy and independence for sure. Sorry if I missed a couple points I'm trying to reply to as many comments asking for context as I can.

Shakeit126 wrote:

Why does your dad have a cc with your name on it? I'd cancel the card. If you move out, what if mom gets a hold of that card since she won't be getting rent from you? I can't see why they have one in your name.

OP responded:

I added my dad as an auth user to one of my cards for emergencies in case he's short on bills or needs to stop at a store and doesn't have money. He doesn't really use it much but good point for once I move out.

SkynetMCP wrote:

NTA - you mom has no right to be mad at you for moving out.

However, quit the "person who birthed me" nonsense, $600 is too much but $400 is fine for mothers? Who came up with that arbitrary line?

OP responded:

Yeah that's fair, I think it's my high school English teacher in the back of my head telling me not to use the word “mom” again when I used it in the previous sentence haha.

AdIntrepid4978 wrote:

INFO: where do you live? What’s the cost of living? Have you looked at the rental market recently? $600 for a studio, what about utilities, internet, renter’s insurance??

Will you have to use a laundromat? Have you calculated that cost into your monthly budget. You should sit down and calculate these numbers. Better yet, sit down with your mom, look at comparables and calculate all the additional costs you weren’t paying at $60 a week. Also, do you have furniture? A lot goes into getting an apartment.

Do you make 2-3 times over the monthly rent? That’s what places are asking for, if you don’t and you don’t have references they’ll ask you for a co-signer to guarantee you’ll be able to afford rent. Also do you have enough to pay first & last months? You aren’t just paying for a room, you’re paying into all those costs as well. Be sure you can afford it before you go off.

DrFishTaco wrote:

NAH - “Rent starts up again…” Sounds like she was giving you a free ride for a bit and then gave you a week to celebrate the job before informing you it was time to start adulting again. She seems like a great mom You have no obligation to live with your parents Her being upset may just be because you’re leaving and that can be hard on parents.

EddieSevenson wrote:

YTA. You don't just have your room, you have use of the house. $600.00/mo is cheap as you will find out very soon if you try to live on your own. Where the heck are you finding a studio apartment for $800/mo? Completely fine to be independent and move out, but not because you have some weird sense of entitlement to way below market rent. You're 25, not 20.

OP responded:

There are plenty of studios in RI for between 700-1100, given most don't have utilities included but there is a fair selection of studios in my state in that price range. Look up studio listings in Rhode Island, even the private condo community near me has studios for $1,100 and have a community pool, gym and laundry.

GreekGodofStats wrote:

Buddy has no idea of the difference between paying $600 to live in someone’s house with water, electricity, WiFi, cable, washing machines, and kitchen, and paying $1,100 a month plus utilities and washing your clothes in a glorified laundromat. That real world bout to hit like a ton of bricks.

IBlameGoogle wrote:

Maybe this is your Mum's way of nudging you in that direction. You are 25. Go fly free. I moved out at 17 because my mum wanted me to start paying rent when I chose to leave School and work full time. I found a much more convenient place at not much more than she was asking.

By 25 I fully understood that she should have asked me for much more, I was costing her more with very little gratitude in return. I'm 40 now and I think neither of you are AHs. Move out, apologize to your mother and tell her you are grateful for everything she has done for you and then learn how to show it. Good luck to you.

Edited to add.: She's asking you for less a month than I pay weekly on rent alone. Maybe ask her to explain how she decided that number? You might be quite surprised to learn what her expenses are to house you. My mother was paying more in fuel a week to drive me than she asked me to contribute for rent, I didn't know that until years later.

While the internet doesn't think OP is an AH for planning to move out, they do seem to unanimously agree that OP is in for a rude awakening with the housing market.

Sources: Reddit
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