'AITA for telling my mom that she should stop interfering with my sister’s love life?'

"AITA for telling my mom that she should stop interfering with my sister’s love life?"

Okay, so my sister (18F) recently introduced to us (my dad, mom, and me) her boyfriend (I think 18 too or 19) who surprised me because her boyfriend was someone that I knew at school (older than me) and kinda close with after being partnered with him for an event.

Anyways, I noticed my mom seemed a bit disappointed when my sister introduced her partner, and I later asked her when they left to go somewhere. My mom then explained that she thought my sister would get together with her friend’s son—let’s call him ‘Jake,’ obviously false but just for more clarity—which I was just confused about, frankly, because that said son already had a girlfriend.

Though my mom reasoned that it wasn’t like they were married yet, and considering how my sister and Jake had always known each other from childhood and whatnot. I got really annoyed at this because my mom also tried to pair me up with another friend’s son, but he and I mutually agreed we had no interest in each other.

Anyways, back to what happened, I told my mom that she really should just let my sister be since she’s old enough to do what is right and knows what she deserves. Mom seemed upset with my words and told me that she was only thinking of the best for my sister, but I told her that she should stop trying to interfere with my sister’s choices and that what my sister did was her choice.

She seemed dissatisfied with my words and stormed off, and I heard her complain to my dad that I was becoming unruly, but it seemed like my dad agreed with me because a few hours after that, he gave me a thumbs up.

And while I do have some bias with my sister because she’s the best, I think that her boyfriend seemed pretty good, plus, from my experience with him, he was really respectful and never overstepped boundaries. So, am I in the wrong for what I said?

The internet had plenty of thoughts to share.

Expert_Slip7543 wrote:

Definitely NTA. You disturbed your mother's sense of peace but did so to maintain peace in the long run, trying to prevent your mother from making an error that could have long lasting impacts.

Please edit a couple of errors, for clarity: you've got the title backwards, need to remove the "not". And the bf being "a senior of mine" made no sense to me, perhaps you meant "a classmate of mine" , or "a classmate in my senior class at school"? Thanks!

SpiceWeaselOG wrote:

NTA. Mom definitely needs a hobby that isn't playing match maker for her and her friends kids.

That's probably what it's about. Being able to combine her family with her friends. Rom com stupidity.

meriadoxm wrote:

NTA and I think you handled that well. Your mom isn’t thinking of what’s best for your sister, she’s thinking of what’s best for herself (her friends son and how cute that will be for her and her friend and she already knows him so she doesn’t have to bother getting to know somebody etc). You were respectful and tried to explain that this is your sister’s decision to make.

buttercupgrump wrote:

NTA. Parents who fantasize about their child marrying a friend's child are weird. Like, your mom doesn't actually want what's best for your sister. She just wants to fulfill some creepy romantic dream of hers. Your mom needed to be called out. Good on you for doing so.

misanthrope-is-Me wrote:

NTA OP. I am friends with a woman I've known for over 20 years. We're more like sisters than her own sisters are to her. Well, back in the day, I'd always hoped that my son would date one of her daughters, he didn't, and boy am I glad. That child is off her rocker.

psychological_way5000 wrote:

NTA this is just something moms do and (hopefully) grow out of once you say no enough times. My mom tried to set me up with a gay guy because his mom refused to acknowledge he was gay (my mom didn't know he was gay) she also tried to set me up with a guy who had a 1940s pencil mustache at 17 year old...that's wasn't a no for a lot of reasons but the stash didn't help.

algunarubia wrote:

NTA. Good for you, your mom has weird matchmaking delusions and better for you to say something than for her to think she should say this to your sister. Seriously, does anyone actually marry a bona fide childhood friend? I feel like it usually feels too similar to dating a cousin or something so it's something you only really see in fiction.

monpetitpomplamouse wrote:

NTA. Your mom is a busybody and is upset that you’re right. She’ll get over it eventually. I swear so many AITAs are parents being surprised that the adult they raised has opposing viewpoints and can voice them. Like, she successfully raised someone who can think for themself. That’s a good thing!

nododarogohjlhkey wrote:

You’ve done well to stand up her dreams but your sister's life. She needs a reality check and to respect her daughter’s autonomy. It sounds like you were calm and firm in expressing this, which is commendable.

Don’t feel guilty for setting boundaries—this isn’t about being unruly, it’s about being an adult who can think independently. Keep backing up your sister and let her navigate her own relationships without unnecessary interference from mom. That's how family should operate, after all.

Senior_Parking6305 wrote:

NTA. Loving the “not standing by and allowing parents to treat an adult sibling poorly” vibe. Keeping the peace is not worth allowing your siblings life to be turned upside down by the potential meddling your mother will engage in to ensure her “perfect plan for a partner” is on track. Best sibling ever award!