'AITA for telling my siblings I don’t want to split the bill equally since they have kids and I don’t?'

"AITA for telling my siblings I don’t want to split the bill equally since they have kids and I don’t?"

I have two older sisters (both over 30 years old), while I’m still in my 20s. The thing is, they suggested to invite my mom to lunch for Mother’s Day and they were talking about splitting the expenses in 3 parts. Both of them have 2 kids each while I don’t.

Given past (bad) experiences where the kids were not contemplated in the bill but still would eat I told them I did not like the idea of splitting in 3 since their kids should be taken into account, mind you, the kids are not babies, one of them will soon turn 18. At the mention of that they did not like it and called me confrontational and my mom even found out and took their side, as per usual.

To give you some more context as to why it bothers me: A similar experience happened before during a trip where I had to pay a third out of all the expenses, my mom another and my sister another (husband and kids included).

She thought my mom and I were oblivious about the whole thing but my mom begged me to not say anything to not start a fight but now I think I’ve held my silence for long. So, the question is, AITA for wanting the bill to be split differently considering I don’t have kids and I’m only paying for my share and my mom’s?

The commenters had lots of thoughts to share.

MerelyWhelmed1 wrote:

You are NTA. I get so tired of these posts wherein the single or childless person is expected to foot the bill for someone else's kids.

OP responded:

“You are single you only have to pay your own bills! meanwhile I have to pay for school fees” that’s their argument actually.

Taycotar wrote:

The fact that you're saying "to give more context of why this bothers me" shows that you have major boundary issues. You don't need additional context - what you said in the first paragraph is enough! I'm gonna make a wild guess and say you're often taken advantage of by your sisters/family. Don't allow them to bully you and guilt you into subsidizing their luxuries. NTA.

OP responded:

Yeah, I guess I’m kind of a pushover and whenever I speak up they tell me I’m being selfish and that their kids are not old enough to pay for their parts so that I should “help” since I’m an adult.

Remote-Passenger7880 wrote:

My friend went thru this same thing years back. She started asking for a separate check with just her meal and the celebratory person's meal and the tip. If someone tried to complain that she wasn't paying for their kids, she would say something like "is it your birthday? Im already covering for mom, im not covering for you too."

A few years after she started doing this, her mom started whining about how her other kids never got her anything. They tried to say the dinner was their gift but she would remind them that they didn't pay for her dinner.

Demand a compromise. Yall can split the bill by the number of attendees or yall can do separate checks because you're not supplementing them anymore. You're not their backup ATM. If they can't afford to eat out, then they can choose to not eat out. Next time mom begs you to keep the peace, remind her that you're not the one disrupting it. NTA.

OkeyDokey654 wrote:

NTA. In the future, if you do go, ask for a separate check and then contribute some cash toward your mom’s meal. When they complain, laugh and say “I do understand why you want me to pay for your kids’ meals, but I’m sure you understand why I’m not going to do that.”

Bake_and_shark wrote:

NTA. Hell no! They want you to subsidize their grown childrens' meals? Screw that, you pay for what you eat. You ask for a separate check and pay your bill (and split the cost of your mom's meal.)

I am sick of parents always taking the side of the cheap, parasite sibling to 'keep the peace'! And please, stop dining with your sisters (if you are forced to, again, ask for a separate check and don't let them guilt you into anything.) The only AHs here are your family.

EmceeSuzy wrote:

You are NTA but you need to stop dining and traveling with them. Take your mother to a special brunch or painting class or some other nice treat for mother's day. If she will not agree to go with you for a solo outing, that is her choice. It does not obligate you to join a group outing that doesn't work for you.

friendlily wrote:

NTA. They're being rude and entitled and taking advantage of you. Your mom isn't much better for trying to silence you to "keep the peace." I would go out with your mom separately for these types of occasions. Also, it's not personal - it's numbers. If you go out to eat with 9 people and you're single, you only have enough to pay for one (you). It's not right to ask you to pay for triple that to split it evenly.

Whole-Soft-4558 wrote:

NTA. My family never splits checks that way for this exact reason, some of us have more kids than others or eat more in general 🤷‍♀️ we split the check between individual households. If we’re celebrating someone then we each cover our own checks and split the person being celebrated. I thought is the norm?