'AITA for telling my sister that she is ruining her child's life with an iPad?'

"AITA for telling my sister that she is ruining her child's life with an iPad?"

My sister (36F) and her husband have a 10-year-old kid (who for the purposes of this post is called "Jimothy") who me and my husband sometimes babysit on the weekends and on some days I take him to school. As of about a year ago, we started to notice that Jimothy was beginning to develop an American accent. We are Australian. Small kids have phases, and so I didn't want to make it "a thing."

Over the next few months, the accent got thicker and Jimothy became more irritable. Me and my husband brought this up with my sister, who said that Jimothy wasn't very grumpy when with her. He then started losing interest in almost all activities that he used to enjoy. Again, this was a concern for me.

Every weekend it got worse. He would complain of being bored but when we offered an exhaustive list of all the things we could do with him, he said no to every single one. The school year for 2024 started, and on the weekend after that Jimothy told us that his teacher and a few classmates had asked him how long he'd been in the US before moving to Australia.

At this point his American accent was indistinguishable from a General American accent. My husband and I were really wondering what was happening. Then, it was Jimothy's birthday party. His family was invited, including me, and so were all his friends.

This was the moment that made me realise to some extent what was going on. He was on an iPad, scrolling some kind of short-form content that I did not recognise. His friends wanted to play with him, and he just did not notice they were there. People were giving him presents, and he acted like he was inconvenienced for having to turn the iPad off.

Never before had any of my nieces or nephews reacted like this upon me giving them money and delicious treats. I told my sister that something was going on, and that Jimothy is obviously not in a good way. She seemed very offended that I was "questioning her parenting choices" as she put it, and she decided that me and my husband babysitting Jimothy had to stop.

The next time I saw Jimothy was very recently, at my niece's birthday party (different parents). Jimothy was completely glued to the iPad. He was noticeably skinnier, which I suspect was because he was forgetting to eat in favour of iPad time.

And when anyone went over to talk to him, he would almost instinctively push the screen towards his body so nobody could see. I had to talk to my sister and her husband. I told them what I thought, that a year ago Jimothy was an energetic child who got along really well with everyone, and now he's reclusive and it's obvious from just looking at him that he's skipping meals.

My sister denied any changes in Jimothy's behaviour, but her husband did admit that I was right to some extent, and Jimothy's friends had stopped trying to hang out with him because he said no 100% of the time. I told my sister she was wrecking Jimothy's life by continuing to let this iPad stuff happen. She started shouting at me, and I walked out of the party.

The internet had lots of thoughts about the dynamic.

LeSaunier wrote:

Him immersing himself in his Ipad isn't the cause, it's the consequence. It's the tip of the iceberg. My kids love their screens, but they also want to play boardgames, go cycling in the forest nearby or jump in the pool.

There's something else. There's something that cause this kid to focus solely on his Ipad. You were right to have concern. If you're truly concerned, and your sister keep a blind eye to the situation, you may want to call the social service. It will hurt your relationship with your family, but better that than letting this kid continue to suffer. Cause he is suffering. NTA.

thealchemist1000_ wrote:

I feel you, the blight of the iPad is endemic across huge swathes of the world. The iPad raises kids, and im betting he was watching Youtube shorts. I have noticed similar behaviour in kids who watch excessive iPad, such as irritability, short attention span, changes in personality.

I'm sure there are studies to be done on this, but parenting can be a hard task, and getting 10 minutes peace and quiet can be impossible without the aid of an iPad. Rock/hard place, but it does seem like your sister has gone too far with the iPad OP. Good on you for calling her out. NTA.

SqueekyOwl wrote:

My niece spends too much time watching Youtube shorts, but isn't displaying signs of brainrot. This is not normal for iPad exposure. Given a choice between presents, friends, and youtube shorts, she'll choose people and presents every time.

She loves spending quality time with adults and kids, loves 1x1 attention, loves playing with her cousin. Makes messes like a normal kid. And she also watches youtube shorts.

She's doing fine in school, which is really remarkable considering she lost her mum this year. The Ipad is not causing this. The Ipad is escapism. Something else is going on. Maybe he's being ab-sed, neglected, s-xually ab-sed...I don't know. But an Ipad alone does not cause what you describe. The kid needs a doctor. No one here is qualified to opinion on what's wrong with them.

KiwiAlexP wrote:

NTA - The accent thing is normal - plenty of people complain about kids suddenly speaking with an English (Peppa Pig) or Aussie (Bluey) accent- but the weight loss and behaviour change can be an indicator that something serious is going on.

Ok_You_17 wrote:

NTA for expressing your concerns about Jimothy’s well-being, especially given the noticeable changes in his behavior and health. It’s important to voice worries when a child’s development and health seem to be at risk.

Your sister's reaction indicates she may be defensive or unwilling to confront the issue, but your concerns about excessive screen time and its effects are valid. It’s crucial to approach such topics with sensitivity, but your intention to address a potential problem in Jimothy's life shows care for his welfare.

SweetBlueHaven wrote:

NTA. The kid obviously is deteriorating. I wouldn't be surprised for him to grow up with depression and anxiety when dealing with social interactions at school and at work. It's good that you and your husband care about Jimothy.

At the end of the day, you tried to help out so let them handle the upcoming issues that will surely arise in the future. Though the accent is actually a weird thing to point out. It's not really an issue here.

EmmaStarrlight wrote:

NTA. You've raised valid concerns about Jimothy's behavioral changes, and it's essential to address such issues for the well-being of the child.

It appears that you've observed a noticeable shift in his social interactions, interests, and physical appearance, which could be related to excessive screen time or other underlying factors. While your sister might have felt offended by your comments, you were expressing genuine concern for your nephew.