The internet can be a magical place full of friendship, learning, and connection. But it can also be a place full of shady exchanges.
In a popular post on the AITA subreddit, a dad asked if he was wrong for telling his son to pay back money he spent on his online girlfriend. He wrote:
I(45M) have a son(16M) that loves to play video games. I purchased him a Playstation 5 for his birthday last year and he plays online with friends. He's been telling me that he has been chatting online with a girl(15F) and they have slowly started dating. They don't talk over the microphone as hers broke and he has no idea what she looks like.
I told him to be careful on what he sends her and to not give her any personal information. My son has his own credit card with a limit on it and I told him to not go over the limit and only use it for emergencies. I got the credit card bill for this month and there were charges repeatedly for the game he plays in charges of $50-100.
I was furious as he gets gift cards for the games for his birthday and Christmas. I approached him with the bill and asked him what the charges were. He told me that his girlfriend wanted new stuff for the game and would break up with him if he didn't purchase them. I told him that I would pay the charges and that he would have to pay me back the money.
I told him that there were many jobs that would hire him. He got angry with me that he wouldn't have time to work as he plays sports and school. I told him that if I was able to balance working and school, he would have no problem doing it. I took his credit card away.
He's not speaking to me now only if it's in regards to being picked up or needing a ride to see his friends. He's mad that I'm making him pay the money back and get a job.
AITA for telling my son to pay back the money he spent on his online girlfriend?
zoobatron_ wrote:
Your son is 100% being scammed here. There is no girlfriend and you desperately need to step in and stop this situation.
OP responded:
I will. I have spoken to him about the dangers of scammers online before. I will have him block all communication if they are still chatting.
Abstruse wrote:
NTA Did he think it's acceptable to make you pay for his gifts to his "girlfriend?" That said, you are the AH for allowing your 16-year-old online unsupervised and access to a credit card without teaching him about online scams.
His "15F" girlfriend is very likely neither, and he's old enough he should've long ago been taught to see that, and especially not to send multiple $50-100 gift cards to his "girlfriend" Boris.
Away_Refuse8493 wrote:
NTA.
Can you please stop calling her an "online girlfriend" and start referring her to what she is, but a scam artist...likely some 12-yo boy or someone in another country. (More likely the first, b/c let's get real.)
prismaticintellect wrote:
NTA. You’ve tried discussing the dangers of being scammed/catfished. Reopen that discussion; this is definitely a teachable moment.
However, he needs an actual consequence to hit the point home, and I agree that holding him liable for the money he elected to give this stranger is a smart choice. This also reinforces that this CC is to be used for emergencies only, in case he was ever feeling froggy in the future.
jerseygirl2468 wrote:
NTA he knew it was for emergencies only - a game is not an emergency. You warned him to be careful with her, and he ignored that. I think it's totally fair to expect him to pay back those charges. He's sixteen, old enough to learn the value of work and money. Also, that 15F girlfriend is totally some dude catfishing him - no video chats, no talking over the mic, he's being scammed.
Supernova-Max wrote:
NTA 'My mic is broken' is the key line for scammers and the second they realise they are getting money out of him it only gets worse but the icing on the cake is that your child thinks its ok to spend more money on a girl if shes threaten to break up with him. So many advice to give to him here!
doflamingoenjoyer1 wrote:
Ehh...I'll say NTA but I think your focus should be on the fact that your son is being extorted and possibly catfished. You need to discipline him, yeah, but don't forget your other duties as a parent.
He needs your guidance now to get out of this situation, and since it's his first "gf" he will also need empathy and understanding on your behalf to help him navigate the situation. Even if she is real, threatening to break up with him if he doesnt buy her s**t is toxic and he needs to leave her.
Mediocre_Ask5220 wrote:
NTA but your son needs some parenting on what a girlfriend is (and isn't). If he thinks that it's someone you never talk to and buy stuff for, this won't be the last time he gets taken advantage of. Imagine what he'll spend on someone who actually sleeps with him.
OP is NTA for limiting his son's funds, but it sounds like the real issue at hand is the fac that his son is being catfished.