'AITA for telling my older brother he deserved to be dumped after he made fun of me for crying?' UPDATED
"AITA for telling my older brother he deserved to be dumped after he made fun of me for crying?"
Hey internet, I’m a 15-year-old guy, and this week has been one of the hardest of my life. My dog, Romeo, passed away unexpectedly a few days ago. He wasn’t just a dog, a lot of people get what I mean, he was my best friend, and the closest thing to me since I was 3. got me. I didn’t think it would hit me this hard, but it did.
Now, here’s the thing, my older brother (20M) is the stereotypical “tough guy.” Super popular, full of confidence, high school musical type of sh-t. But he also has a bad habit of dismissing anything that doesn’t fit into his worldview. We’ve never been THAT close,he thinks I’m too sensitive, and I think he’s a bit of an a-s, but I genuinely thought he’d understand how much Romeo meant to me.
I mean, even if he didn’t care about romeo, he could have at least respected that I did, right? You guessed it, he didn't. 🙏🏻 Yesterday, I was sitting in the living room, looking through old photos of Romeo on my phone and tbh i was crying. I thought I was alone.
Then my brother walked in, took one look at me, and started laughing menacingly. He said things like: "you really cryin' over a dog?" and "man up, it's just an animal."
I tried to ignore him at first and asked him to stop, but that just seemed to make him more of an a--hole. He kept going, saying things like, "Whats next? you gonna hold a funeral for him?" and even pretended to cry in a mocking way.
I don’t know what changed in me, but I snapped. I was hurt, angry, and just so fed up with how sh--ty he was being. I remembered that not long ago, his girlfriend of two years had broken up with him. Ever since, he’s been moping around the house, blasting sad breakup songs, and talking to anyone who’ll listen about how “heartbroken” he is.
So I looked him d-ad in the eye and said, "at least my 'just an animal loved me, your girl clearly didn't love you the way she cheated on you, at least my dog died loving me, your girl is still alive and didn't love you." He froze, completely silent. Then his face went red, and he stormed out of the room without saying a word.
Fast forward to later, my parents heard about what happened (thanks to him, ofc) and told me I was out of line. They said I went too far and that I should apologize because what I said was cruel. But here’s the thing,I don’t feel like I owe him an apology. He mocked me while I was grieving, dismissed my feelings, and only stopped when I hit him where it hurt.
I know what I said was harsh. I know it wasn’t the nicest thing I could’ve said. But honestly? He started it. If he’d just shown me a shred of emotion, or even left me alone, I wouldn’t have gone there. Now my parents are pressuring me to “make things right” with him, but I don’t see why I should have to apologize when he was the one who started being shitty first. AITA?
Hey everyone! Thanks for everyone's support and love i deeply appreciate it. I'm very sorry if I can't reply to everyone's comments but truly I appreciate everyone's opinions and am very grateful for everyone who actually cares to help, and I will definitely read all of them and try to figure this out. Thank you!!!
The internet had a lot of thoughts to share.
Any_Dragonfruit4130 wrote:
NTA. Ask your parents where they are when he starts teasing you? Tell them no. A 20-year-old who makes fun of a sibling for crying over a pet, is heartless. It also makes me wonder if he has a mental illness. He may be a psychopath or sociopath.
I suggest you stay away from him. He has some serious problems. I cried like a baby when my pet died. Tell your parents he’s 20 not 2 and he needs to apologize. Go LC with him when you move out of house.
OP responded:
Thank you for this, I'm very sorry for your loss as well. 🙏🏻
AVeryBrownGirlNerd wrote:
I am going with a NTA. Yes, it was harsh, but it sounds like your older brother pushed you to this point, especially how callous he was being. Also, very hypocritical. He can grieve over his failed relationship, but you can't cry over a beloved member of the family??
That's rich. My fur baby passed a few years ago and I know if someone treated me the way he did, I would have an outburst too. Stand your ground. If you want, do "apology" like "I am so sorry for saying this to you even though you mocked my pain and sorrow, saying dogs don't matter.
I am sorry that you faked crying when you invaded my personal space to make fun of me and dismiss me. I am sorry that your feelings seem to matter more" or something similar. This calls him out. Honestly, he's 20, he's an adult, you are a minor. His behavior is appalling. Your parents lack of awareness is also.
OP responded:
I actually will do exactly that, thank you so much, also I am very sorry for your loss. Hope you're doing better🙏🏻🫶🏻
Money-Possibility606 wrote:
NTA. Grown men cry. Grown men especially cry over dogs. I'm assuming that this dog was your family's dog, and not just yours. So he should have feelings about it too. The fact that he doesn't is concerning. What you said was harsh, but there comes a point where when someone is attacking you, you have to fight back. He deserved what you said and he needed to hear it.
Your brother is a 20-year-old adult. You're a 15-year-old kid. He should be WAY beyond how he's treating you. He should be the one taking the high-road, and he didn't. He att-cked you, he f'd around and found out, and now he knows that you won't take his s--t anymore. Good for you. Sometimes that's the only way to handle a b-lly.
The next day, OP jumped on with an update.
UPDATE: Long story short, I think my parents had a talk with him. If not, he just came to his senses. He came and knocked on my door and i opened, he gave me the biggest hug he's ever given me in such a long time, it was much needed for both of us.
He apologized and told me how he realized how much of an AH he was being and that he has changed a lot for the worse and has just realized it. I apologized as well for reminding him of his girlfriend(and roasting the s--t out of him).
We legitimately had some bonding time where we kept apologizing and played FIFA and just talked EVERYTHING out. And we both agreed to try ro be better with each other AND our parents and just try to become the best versions of ourselves.
I was genuinely so flabbergasted that he actually did that because I haven't seen my brother show emotions in a long time. But these two days have somehow changed him and I'm not complaining.
Thank you so much everyone for the advice, I really appreciate it and I'm so grateful for everyone who cared to read and comment, reading these positive comments made my week and made me know how I was right AND wrong and what I can do to improve myself. Again, thank you guys🫶🏻🫶🏻 Another edit: we actually ARE gonna make a funeral for romeo.
The internet was so happy to hear the update.
AVeryBrownGirlNerd wrote:
I am going with a NTA. Yes, it was harsh, but it sounds like your older brother pushed you to this point, especially how callous he was being. Also, very hypocritical. He can grieve over his failed relationship, but you can't cry over a beloved member of the family? That's rich. My fur baby passed a few years ago and I know if someone treated me the way he did, I would have an outburst too.
Stand your ground. If you want, do "apology" like "I am so sorry for saying this to you even though you mocked my pain and sorrow, saying dogs don't matter. I am sorry that you faked crying when you invaded my personal space to make fun of me and dismiss me. I am sorry that your feelings seem to matter more" or something similar. This calls him out.
Honestly, he's 20, he's an adult, you are a minor. His behavior is appalling. Your parents lack of awareness is also.
OP responded:
I actually will do exactly that thank you so much. Also, I am very sorry for your loss. Hope you're doing better🙏🏻🫶🏻
Any_Dragonfruit4130 wrote:
NTA. Ask your parents where they are when he starts teasing you? Tell them no. A 20 year who makes fun of a sibling for crying over a pet, is heartless. It also makes me wonder if he has a mental illness.
He may be a psychopath or sociopath. I suggest you stay away from him. He has some serious problems. I cried like a baby when my pet passed. Tell your parents he’s 20 not 2 and he needs to apologize. Go LC with him when you move out of house.
OP responded:
Thank you for this, I'm very sorry for your loss as well. 🙏🏻
Money-Possibility606 wrote:
NTA. Grown men cry. Grown men especially cry over dogs. I'm assuming that this dog was your family's dog, and not just yours. So he should have feelings about it too. The fact that he doesn't is concerning. What you said was harsh, but there comes a point where when someone is attacking you, you have to fight back. He deserved what you said and he needed to hear it.
Your brother is a 20-year-old adult. You're a 15-year-old kid. He should be WAY beyond how he's treating you. He should be the one taking the high-road, and he didn't. He attacked you, he f'd around and found out, and now he knows that you won't take his s--t anymore. Good for you. Sometimes that's the only way to handle a b*lly.