'AITA for telling my parents they’re overzealous and they need to teach my half-sister to mind her business?'
"AITA for telling my parents that they’re overzealous and they need to teach my precious half-sister to mind her own business?"
(This is about me and my “half-sister Maddie” who is 14). Maddie constantly instigates social dramas at her school and then cries wolf if people stand up to her.
My parents are the main part of the problem. They feed into Maddie’s antics completely, and always push the narrative that it’s all somebody else’s fault. The latest claim from Maddie was that a girl “Nora” was har-ssing her and calling her ugly/b-llying her for body in the locker rooms.
Obviously, my parents came to the school guns blazing and revving to get Nora expelled for what she did to precious Maddie. The school was prepared for this meeting and had two other girls there who were both witnesses to the incident. My parents parroted Maddie’s story about Nora b--lying and harassing her, and both the girls who were witnesses explained that wasn’t what happened.
The girls both said Maddie accused Nora of checking her out. Nora just said that she wasn’t checking Maddie out or attracted to Maddie at all and to leave her alone. Nora only spoke in self-defense of herself after Maddie went up to her first and didn’t say anything else to Maddie.
If I were our parents, would have apologized for what happened, made Maddie apologize, then grounded Maddie for being a liar and instigator in the first place. Nope. Now my parents claim it was still b-llying and are bluffing about wanting to sue the school for not defending Maddie, punishing Nora, and disciplining the two witnesses for not "intervening."
My “Uncle Daniel” is a paralegal and currently in law school. On Sunday, my parents told me to text Uncle Daniel and ask why he’s not responding to them because he has the connections to help them sue the school. I got fed up and told my parents that Uncle Daniel’s probably ignoring them because this situation is just so stupid.
I also said that instead of being overzealous and fighting with the school, they should tell precious Maddie to just mind her own business. I guarantee that most of her social dramas will go away if she does that. I got grounded and had my phone confiscated for being disrespectful. So now I’m writing this on a school computer.
My parents said I was acting like a brat and a 16-year-old who’s never paid bills has no place to dictate what they do. In my opinion, that’s true to an extent. But if Uncle Daniel and our other relatives won’t tell them, they need to hear from somebody else that suing the school is a dumb idea and Maddie should quit being an instigator. AITA?
The commenters had a lot to say in response.
ironchef8000 wrote:
Spoiler alert: “Uncle Daniel” knows to steer clear of 1) family drama, 2) needless litigation, and 3) repercussions for unlicensed practice of law. NTA. Your parents need to grow up.
PaganCHICK720 wrote:
"On Sunday, my parents told me to text Uncle Daniel and ask why he’s not responding to them because he has the connections to help them sue the school."
"Dear Uncle Daniel, will you please reply to my parents explaining how delusional they sound? And how trying to sue the school is only going to backfire because all of Maddie's bad behavior will be brought out into the public and humiliate all of them?"
Confused_Squish wrote:
NTA. Sounds like a bad case of golden child to me. Your uncle has the right idea. I know its hard, but youre definitely going to. You may not pay bills but that doesnt mean you dont get to voice your concerns. I'd say maybe talk to your uncle.
Ask for his advice, maybe look into some part time work if you can to save up a bit of funds, and keep it in either a sole bank account or a secure place that only you know about. Just in case.
OP responded:
I've been trying to save money when I can. But living anywhere is still crazy expensive and I'm broke. =( I will probably have to live with them for at least a couple more years after college. My current strategy is to stay somewhat on their good side so I can have more freedom while saving up.
Billie_is_typing wrote:
NTA. I think at 16 you just need to bide your time before you can get out of the house. Stay out of the drama, ignore it as much as possible. Focus on school and try to get a good education and a good job so you can distance yourself from them in the future if necessary.
Your sister will be unhappy in life since she’s used to getting her way so be prepared. Financial freedom is the best solution when your family is annoying!
OP responded:
This is my current strategy. I'll try to stay on their good side so I can have more freedom/ability to save up. In this economy, I'll probably be stuck at home for a couple years after college. But I'll do my best to be busy all the time and save.
Gamecat93 wrote:
NTA but Maddie and your parents are. People like Maddie are the problem and so are your parents. Nora was clearly doing nothing wrong and Maddie did what she did because she is a mean girl training to be her school's Regina George.
Maybe you should let Uncle Daniel know about this situation and give your parents a wake up call that Maddie is the real problem. They were being disrespectful to the real victim, Nora.
And the thing is if they even try to sue the school Nora's family and the school could countersue your family for defamation and get Maddie expelled instead. Ask your uncle about it, trust me, knowingly lying about someone to destroy their character and get them expelled or fired is defamation. And if she continues this, your family will get sued.
glynndah wrote:
NTA. There is no use to say anything to your parents or Maddie. They're not going to listen. Your Uncle Daniel has the right idea. Just completely ignore all the drama. Anything you say to them is not going to sway them from their position and, as they've demonstrated, anything you say is just going to get you into trouble.