'AITA for telling my sister 'he's just a kid' isn't an excuse for a 13-year old?'
"AITA for telling my sister 'he's just a kid' isn't an excuse for a 13-year old?"
My (26f) sister, Elle (36f) has a 13-year old son, my nephew, Tyler. Yesterday was my dad's birthday. To get the picture, it was me, Elle, our other sister, our aunt and uncle and our three cousins. The middle one of the three cousins, Grace (32f) has a daughter Brooklyn(12f). Tyler and Brooklyn were the only kids there. Brooklyn recently broke her ankle, and needs crutches for a few weeks.
The kids were mostly in the living room, whereas everyone else was in the kitchen/dining room. I didn't think to check on them much because I thought 13 and 12 were old enough to know not to do something super dangerous like break a window, besides, the living room is pretty close to the kitchen. We heard something crash down the stairs, followed immediately by shouting.
Everyone's first instinct was the rush into the room, and so we did. We saw Tyler and Brooklyn wrestling over one of the crutches on the couch, well Brooklyn was sitting on the couch and Tyler was standing behind the couch, if you can picture it. Brooklyn ended up falling backwards off the couch, and she started crying.
Turns out, Tyler had thrown one of the crutches down the stairs into the basement and was trying to also get the other one thrown downstairs. After we made sure Brooklyn was not seriously hurt (she ended up being fine), Grace started asking Tyler things like "what were you thinking? Why would you do that? What's the matter with you?" I wouldn't call it yelling, but her voice was definitely raised.
A few other people joined her, and Elle immediately jumped in front of them like a soldier, saying "no one is hurt and he's just a kid."
I thought that was ridiculous because 1. Although Brooklyn ended up being alright, she COULD HAVE been hurt, and 2. A 13-year old? Really? A kid? That's a teenager who should know better. So I told her so, just a kid is something used for kids aged 11 and below. After that, it's not an excuse.
Elle thought everyone overreacted, and she was pissed, especially at me. My god, really? And for anyone asking, I don't know why Tyler did that. Really, I don't. Maybe he thought it'd be funny or something. But since Elle is so pissed off I'm wondering if maybe that was a line not to be crossed. Or maybe I'm overthinking, because WTF. Well?
The internet did not hold back one bit.
Hungry-Book wrote:
NTA. Did your nephew explain why he did what he did?
OP responded:
Unfortunately, no.
EsmeWeatherwax7a wrote:
I don't know that "just a kid" has an absolute age limit. But for something like this? Taking away a mobility aid? Six-year-olds would know not to do this. Maybe he was trying to be funny, and if so he should get a very clear message about how not funny it way.
Maybe he's a b-lly. I don't know, but mom trying to protect him from the consequences of his actions does him no favors. (The fact that EVERYONE thought Tyler was being a little jerk should tell Elle something, but she seems motivated not to hear it.) NTA.
FrankenSteins_Kid wrote:
Hell nah NTA.
"Just a kid" is used when a 4-year-old smeared PB&J all over his body to know how sandwiches feel. Not when a teenager is purposely trying to harm an injured person.
And I know why Tyler did that. Because his mom is an enabler who will not make him face the consequences of his actions. He probably knows his mom will come to the rescue and dismiss his misbehaviour.
Necessary_Alps900 wrote:
NTA. A 13-year-old is old enough to know better than to mess with someone’s crutches, especially when they’re injured. "He’s just a kid" isn’t an excuse at that age, and your sister’s reaction is enabling bad behavior. Brooklyn could’ve been seriously hurt, and it’s right to call out irresponsible actions. Elle’s upset because she knows you’re right, but someone had to say it.
NagaApi8888 wrote:
NTA. It's clear why your nephew feels he can behave like this - because mommy dearest always rushes to defend him from any criticism of his behaviour. Don't allow Tyler unsupervised around Brooklyn. And I wouldn't allow him into your own house at any time if I were you.
InevitableGood9458 wrote:
NTA!!
Kids need guidance, and guidance happens through discipline. Making excuses for your kids is almost asking your kids to grow up entitled.
Flat-Story-7079 wrote:
NTA, and this is why we have an issue with teen boys acting like entitled AHs. I would suggest that you not spend a lot of time with your sister and her entitled son, for your own safety.
Wish-ga wrote:
He’s a s-t. His mom denies smelling anything bad. You can smell it. And I can smell it from here. You are NTA. Your sister is TA that produced the shit & is walking around with a peg on her nose.
TheSportsWatcher wrote:
Hard NTA. Tyler was being malicious and a b-lly, plain and simple. It's not funny to take away his cousin's crutches and potentially break them. Your niece isn't using them for fun. Your sister needs to face the reality that her son ought to have known better.
I'm glad your niece ended up being alright. I'm sure she was scared by his behaviour and by being pushed off the couch - especially after such a serious injury recently.