'AITA for telling someone to stop mentioning their 'allergies' when we go out to restaurants?'
"AITA for telling someone to stop mentioning their “allergies” when we go out to restaurants?"
I have a family member (31F) that sees an allergist and claims that they’re allergic to nearly everything under the sun — including things I’ve seen them eat for YEARS with no issues. The past 2 times we’ve gone out to eat, they mention their “level 5 allergy” and the look of panic that ensues on the waiters’ faces gives me secondhand embarrassment.
The first time, we went out to an Italian restaurant, where they made a scene about their level 5 garlic allergy to the waiter. They had ordered a pizza, and claimed that the pizza had never given them problems before but that they CANNOT have any garlic.
The manager came back and said that all their pizzas have garlic. My family member then said “oh that’s okay then.” IS IT A LEVEL 5 ALLERGY IF YOU CAN EAT IT? They were also perfectly fine and didn’t complain during or after the meal. The second time, we went to a Chinese restaurant.
They ordered a seafood soup. Then, “I HAVE A LEVEL 5 ALLERGY TO FISH”. The waiter looked completely flabbergasted, then her mom starts explaining that they’ve had the soup before but that they just don’t eat the shrimp. The waiter then explained that the rest of the soup would have made contact with the shrimp. Again, “it’s fine, I’ve had it before. I’m just allergic.” SO WHY BRING IT UP?
I finally said last night that they really need to knock it off, EVERY TIME she pipes up with the allergy talk, she orders something that directly contains what she’s “allergic” to. I’m not an allergist, but I’m pretty sure that if you can eat the food with no symptoms or discomfort, you’re not allergic. All she’s doing is causing panic for the waiter and turning herself into a liability if she DID have an allergy. AITA?
TL;DR; family member says she has various level 5 allergies, but continues to eat what she claims she’s allergic to. I told her to knock it off because she’s obviously not allergic and is just causing problems for the sake of attention.
The internet did not hold back one bit.
Ambroisie_CY wrote:
I was about to tell you Y T A based on the title, but man was I wrong! NTA. There's a thing where people like to pretend to have either a medical or mental health problem just to seek attention from others. They think it makes them interesting. Your cousin sounds exactly like that. Let me guess, she is also self absorb and doesn't have anything to show for personnality wise?
OP responded:
Hit the nail right on the head.
Head-Emotion-4598 wrote:
The next time she says, "I have an allergy but have eaten it before so it's fine" just loudly insist, "No, SIL! It's not fine because you could die and I can't stand the thought of losing you!" (Really ham it up with concern!)
Insist that she order something simple and bland "to stay safe." Tell the waiter that under no circumstances is she allowed to have the dish she wants. Your SIL wants the attention? Give it to her in spades! NTA.
lychigo wrote:
NTA. Call that out on behalf of all those who have to put up with that level of idiocy and for people who actually have allergies. That is some serious BS. I'm allergic but can eat it? What an AH.
OnlyThePhantomKnows wrote:
If she truly has level 5 food allergies, she wouldn't be eating the food. I DO have allergies some severe some not so much. I have had to train my lady not to mention it to the waiter. I am an adult and can choose. I have mild allergies to eggs (my bowels will hate me).
I have strong allergies to tomatoes (eat more than a tiny amount I will end up in the hospital). I have friends that have severe allergies (someone cuts a piece of fish, wipes the knife, and then cuts their meat, they end up in the hospital). She is putting people like my friends and I at risk, by being chicken little. She is the AH. Dude, you are the angel!
Zealous_idealTill683 wrote:
NTA. I suggest you fight fire with fire. Claim to be allergic to her clothes, perfume, even her accent.
OP responded:
This is so funny HAHAHAHAHA I might actually do this.
Agreeable_Nothing58 wrote:
And this is what makes eating out dangerous for celiacs...I will tell the waiter/waitress I have celiacs and then they ASK THE SEVERITY of it! There is no range for it as literally any cross-contamination causes intestinal damage but a severe glutening then causes all other noticeable symptoms.
I have even had a waitress try and tell me that she knows more about my disease than I do and claimed that a shared fryer is okay because 'others have done it.
So...some people will claim they have celiacs just because it is 'easier' for them to claim that to get gluten-free options but then claim to be fine with different levels of cross-contamination because they aren't ACTUALLY celiacs which then misinforms the waitstaff and increases the risks for those with severe conditions.
PowderCinnamon wrote:
NTA. Your family member isn’t allergic, she’s drama-intolerant. Claiming "level 5 allergies" while munching on the offending food is just wasting everyone’s time and giving waitstaff anxiety. If she wants attention, maybe she should try a hobby instead of hijacking dinner.
AlohaBaily_00 wrote:
As a parent of a child with food allergies, your relative is just making it harder for families that have true allergies.