'AITA for wanting my friend to acknowledge her fault in a car accident? She's deflecting.'
"AITA for wanting my friend to acknowledge her fault in a car accident?"
Two days ago, I (M30) went on a fieldwork trip with some uni friends. My friend (F22) and I were the drivers. We had a great day and stopped for a meal at a small-town pub. As we were preparing to leave, one girl went back to the pub, leaving my car door halfway open.
While waiting, my friend reversed her car around mine, caught the door, panicked, and kept reversing, fully opening it, damaging the interior and snapping her side mirror. She was in shock and repeatedly apologized, saying a passenger distracted her and she hadn’t checked her mirrors.
Everyone gathered around, but since we had insurance and the damage wasn’t severe, we took photos for the claim and drove home. That night, she hosted a small party where half the attendees had witnessed the accident. There were friendly jokes about her driving, and everything seemed fine.
Today, I filled out the insurance paperwork where both drivers acknowledge fault. She agreed to sign but asked me to list her mother’s name to avoid an insurance rate increase. I agreed and sent her the form for review. After checking, she said it looked fine but mentioned that her insurer suggested I might be at fault since my car door was open.
Confused, I called her, and she said her research indicated that because my door wasn’t fully closed, I could be blamed. I reminded her that she admitted fault, my car was parked, and everyone saw what happened. She suggested letting the insurance inspection decide. I told her if that was the case, I wouldn’t list her mother’s name and would involve witnesses. She agreed.
Before sending it to the insurance company I sent her a text saying that I was not going to send the form until tomorrow, so she could think about it and if she really wanted to double down and having to involve all the other people, and that I was feeling betrayed by her stubbornness on wanting an insurance investigation when she knew quite well she was at fault.
She replied that telling me she was sorry didn't mean she was acknowledging it was her fault, that she was sorry for the damages but that she didn't know that if the parked car had the door opened it could be found at fault by the insurance company and that she was only doing has her insurance agent was telling her.
I replied again saying that she was not understanding the situation, that this was not a dispute with an unknown driver, that my car was parked with the door halfway open and that she just wrecked it by not checking her mirrors while reversing and that everyone saw that.
I also said that the car damages were the least of my concerns since my insurance would cover the expenses either way but that I could not believe that she was straight down refusing to acknowledge her responsibility in this. She then said that I should not lecture nor speak to her like that and that I just proved that this was indeed a dispute with an unknown driver. AITA?
The internet had a lot to say in response.
Square-Platypus4029 wrote:
Lying on the form is insurance fraud, so hopefully you didn't do that.
OP responded:
No, I didn't, she told me that her mom agreed on that since she barely drives and her insurance won't be affected by it. I didn't really think about it and I was willing to do her a favour which was now obviously wrong for many reasons.
StAlvis wrote:
NTA. JFC. Based on the title I assumed this was going to be about a passenger's contributions to leading you to have an accident. This is unambiguously 100% HER fault.
"She said her research indicated that because my door wasn’t fully closed, I could be blamed."
Your car was not in motion. You are allowed to have doors open when parked.
Fun_Conversation3107 wrote:
So in most situations, if a car is parked with the door open and another car reverses into it, causing damage, the driver of the reversing car would be considered at fault, since they have the primary responsibility to ensure their actions while reversing do not cause a collision, which is what sounds like happened here.
If your passenger had opened the door while the other car was reversing, you would be at fault. Since you were parked with the car door opened, the reversing car should be held liable. NTA.
babianquis wrote:
NTA. It seems like she is using the “I’m just doing what my insurance agent is telling me” excuse as a cop-out to not be held responsible. She’s a grown woman and knows who is at fault.
The fact that she originally asked you to list her mother’s name instead of her own also proves that she is looking for any way for this to not get completely pinned on her. Don’t let her off easy, she obviously doesn’t deserve it if she can’t even take responsibility for her own mistake and is trying to make you feel like the bad guy.
WatchingTellyNow wrote:
Don't put her mother's name as the driver, that's lying and could get you into serious trouble. Don't even discuss it with her any more. Just put THE TRUTH on the form, with witness names if necessary.
Your car was stationary, you or your passenger didn't open the door into her car. Yes, it was partially open but it wasn't moving, so it was totally her responsibility not to drive into it. She's being ridiculous, and is trying to get you to help in insurance fraud. Just don't engage. NTA.
Candid-Sense-7523 wrote:
NTA. However, if you say it was her mother, and somehow the insurance company finds out, I can see them easily charging back all the money paid out to you, perhaps cancelling your coverage, or increasing your premiums, and maybe even having you charged with insurance fraud.
And with so many witnesses, you can bet the odds of them finding out you lied are pretty much in their favour. A true friend would not ask anyone to commit fraud to save them money.
prettytinywaisted wrote:
NTA. She took responsibility, then shifts the blame onto you over what her insurance told her. the door being open is a pathetic excuse. She drove into it and made it even worse by reversing. She doesn't deserve to have a license.