'My wife flashed a friend on a night out. My friend told me. I said I don’t care. AITA?'

"AITA? My wife got her boobs out on a night out. My friend told me. I said I don’t care. Causing a lot of drama."

My wife (41f) was on a night out with friends and ended up bumping in to a few of my friends while out. They stayed together most of the night and at one point were in the smoking area at the back of a bar and got talking to a couple of younger women. One of them mentioned wanting to get her nipples pierced but was scared of the long term damage.

My wife then said “I’ve had mine done for 25 years and there's no damage to them wanna see?” The other woman said yes so my wife turned her back to the crowd behind so only those around her could see and pulled her top down for what she said (and my friends confirmed) was about 30 seconds.

The other woman asked if she could feel them and my wife said yes and after that the other woman said she could see and feel there and was no damage and now she’s convinced.

The next morning my friend messaged me to tell me what happened. I said I know, my wife told me. He then said she obviously didn’t tell me the full story because I would be more mad and then proceeded to tell me the exact same story that my wife told me lol. I said I appreciated him looking out for me but I’m not mad and I don’t really care.

Since then I’ve had all sorts of messages from friends. Some telling me I need to leave her, some telling me not to listen to others and they can’t believe all the fuss. Even a couple of friends have said things along the lines of “if you let your wife get away with this it will encourage my wife to behave like this” like I should punish her or something.

Came to a bit of a head yesterday as a few of us play for the same Sunday league football side when a couple of my friends were joking about it and one of them said “if I go tell her I want my nipples pierced will she show me?”

And I laughed and said no harm in asking. Then one of my other “friends” said “she probably will the slag” and I lost it and went for him. We got pulled apart but since then tensions have been quite high with most people supporting me but a few saying it’s my fault for not seeing the truth and not seeing how bad the situation is.

I genuinely don’t know what else I could have done different here. I’m not bothered about it I’m really not and I don’t need people to be offended on my behalf. When we go on holiday she will be topless all day at the beach where 100s of people can see her. I can’t believe all the fuss about some nipple piercings. So AITAH for not caring my wife got her boobs out on a night out?

The internet did not hold back one bit.

Nostalgia_Soul wrote:

Sounds like your wife and her friend were having a "titillating" conversation! But seriously, as long as you and your wife are comfortable with the situation, it shouldn't matter what anyone else thinks. Let's just hope none of your friends get nipple piercings in the near future...awkward.

Dependent_passage_21 wrote:

Any of your friends that are trying to tell you to keep your wife "under control" or whatever do not deserve to be your friends.

Suspicious_Jaguar_10 wrote:

You're in the right here, your friends are just insecure that you being okay with this is going to lead to their wife’s doing something like this. It’s good you don’t see any harm in this because there isn’t, she was showing a few people and with good intentions. Not to cheat or whatever bad intention these friends of your think she had.

You are a good husband, and from at it seems you are both confident in your wife and your self which is great. Quit frankly you should drop those friends, definitely the one who called her a slag and those who is saying”Would she showed me if I asked” they are basically calling her easy and telling you in a discreet way that you wife would give it up or show anybody.

Accomplished_416 wrote:

NTA. You need new friends. Normal people would recognise that women actually let each other see their breasts all the time for a lot of reasons and it's pretty normal. If they are making these kind of comments then they've never had any respect for her and this is just an incident that's let the curtain fall on that.

OP responded:

It’s really weird I don’t know where this has come from. They’ve never been like this before about her or other women. Some of them have even been away with us before when my wife and their wives and girlfriends all went topless too!! It’s not even like they haven’t seen my wife's tits before lol.

EmberSparkling wrote:

Your wife showed a piercing, not committed a crime, and your so-called friends are acting like the morality police. If their marriages are so fragile that your wife’s free spirit is a threat, that’s a them problem, not yours.

Traditional-Ad2319 wrote:

What really gets me about this whole thing is that women can show practically their entire boob with a low-cut dress or a low cut shirt everybody's okay with it. But my God anybody catch a sight of an actual nipple and they all go to pieces.

Grown men never seem to get over the novelty of seeing women's boobs and you know what it's really not that big a deal. I like the fact that you're not one of those husbands that gets hysterical over crap like this.

shreddiesalad wrote:

My one friend showed me her breast reduction. Another showed me her mastectomy. My neighbour showed me his heart surgery scars. I think it’s pretty normal for people to show and tell their experiences and physical changes to their bodies. I think cosmetic changes like piercings or tattoos would be similar.