'AITA for wishing my dad good luck when all he has left is his affair partner?'
"AITA for wishing my dad good luck when all he has left is his affair partner because he won't see my brother in the hospital when she's not welcome?"
My dad cheated on my mom with "Fiona". We found out three years ago and my parents got divorced because of it and dad married Fiona. Dad and mom have me (16) and my brother (13). We don't like Fiona and I don't like dad either.
My brother still has mixed feelings on dad and he wants a relationship with dad but not with Fiona. But my brother still mostly keeps dad at arms length because dad comes with Fiona.
To give some more info on other things. I spoke in court about not wanting to go to my dad's house and the judge didn't listen. In my state they never have to listen to "kids" which means anyone under 18. A judge could choose to but it's rare that they will when no physical ab#$e is involved.
My brother wanted to spend less time at dad's house and that was another thing our voice doesn't matter in. Not even mine at 16. So we're 50-50 with our parents. The other thing is Fiona has tried to get close to us. She has acted all sweet and caring and like she wants us to be family and she has cried when we rejected her.
I'm ruthless about it too and told her I will never be her friend and never be her willing family and to accept it. I told her she is nothing in my eyes and is just as disgusting as dad. Fiona was our neighbor for a while and knew about mom and us so while dad is primarily the bad guy she's not innocent. Dad and I fight on the regular about it.
So my brother has pretty severe asthma and he was hospitalized almost three weeks ago. My brother made it clear to the hospital staff that he didn't want Fiona to visit him so she's not allowed in. Because of that dad refused to visit even when my brother asked to see him. My brother stopped calling him after that and he ignores any calls dad makes.
My dad had some friends over and he complained to them about the whole thing. When they left I told him that I hoped he was prepared to never see me or my brother again and good luck when all he has left is his affair partner. He told me not to speak about Fiona like that and to stop speaking to him like that.
I told him that's what Fiona will be until the day she passes. Just like he will be a cheater until the day he passes. He told me stopping all contact with a parent for loving their partner is wrong. I rolled my eyes and he's still b#$hing about what I said. He told mom I had no right to speak to him that way. AITA?
The internet did not hold back one bit.
shammydammy wrote:
Best 18th bday present for you is the ability to go nc with them.
OP responded:
Yep! It can't come fast enough.
Beneficial-Ball8375 wrote:
Write him a really colorful letter before you go NC so he can really stew in it. Oh and if he dares to contact you: post his number on craigslist under 'Giving old car parts for free'. Every time. Works like a charm.
OP responded:
I considered sending him a really badly written text because that stuff drives him crazy.
Sandpiper1701 wrote:
I have no sympathy for a man who refuses to visit his SON in the HOSPITAL unless his affair partner wife can come too. Dad stepped over a line he can't come back from. His son ASKED him to come and dad refused unless he got his way. Then he has the audacity to demand an apology? Oh, hell no!
OP responded:
The fact he thinks my brother will get over it too. But dad acts like he's the one who has the right to be mad that we're shunning his affair partner.
judging-aholes wrote
NTA - He didn't respect your mom or you guys, so why should you and your bro respect him and his partner? He has clearly shown he will chose Fiona over his family, and soon enough you can show him exactly how you feel about it.
"He told me stopping all contact with a parent for loving their partner is wrong."
"It's not when that parent has shown you that they will pick that pussy, or partner as you like to call it, over their family/kid at every turn." - that would be my response but I'm also very petty. lol
PrettyLittleLost wrote:
"He told me stopping all contact with a parent for loving their partner is wrong."
He cheated on his first partner. I feel like that throws this claim of his into laughable territory. It would be nice if he realized it's not just about his partner but how he's treating you and your brother and disregarding your feelings.
Good luck. He seems pretty clueless. Hope there are ways to embrace the better things in life than get bogged down with his nonsense.
CarolinaFurry wrote:
NTA. Your dad chose his affair partner over his son’s well-being. Actions have consequences. He can’t expect love and respect when he won’t even show up for his own kid in the hospital.
ProfessionalApathy42 wrote:
TBH I'd be playing mindgames at this point, as far as i'm concerned the judge ok'd it. Start small, oops I broke this sentimental thing. Reorganising random stuff. Planting underwear. Screaming whenever she came near me. Addressing them both in various languages for 'AP'. But then again, maybe I have many issues that therapy has yet to fix ?