'AITA for not punishing my son for his life drawings? My sister thinks they're inappropriate.'
"AITA for not punishing my son for his drawings?"
I (40M) have a son (15M) who loves to draw. He’s very good at it and spends hours every day practicing. He has dozens of full sketchbooks in his room.
Yesterday we had some family over for dinner, and my sister’s kids (8F and 10M) snuck into his room and looked through his sketchbooks. They came back holding one of them- it was full of drawings of people bare or in undergarments, which the kids found very funny.
I didn’t know he drew them (he’s very critical of his own art and only shows me drawings he’s very proud of, and these were clearly practices) but I wasn’t bothered by the contents. They obviously weren’t inappropriate, they included men and women of all ages and weights in casual and normal poses. He says he was just studying anatomy. My sister, however, was very upset.
She was mad I let my son draw realistic bodies and suggested he drew these people because he was attracted to them (which was silly, because he’s gay, and the majority of the drawings were of women. The guys he did draw weren’t what I imagine a 15 year old boy would be attracted to).
She was also upset that her kids were exposed to n-#ity, which I shut down pretty quick because they shouldn’t have been snooping anyways.
My sister is saying I’m ruining my son by letting him look at unclothed people. My dad agrees that the kids shouldn’t have been in his room, but thinks he shouldn’t be looking at that kind of stuff and says I should punish him for drawing it.
I just don’t see the big deal and think it’s fine for my son to look at nude people, especially considering they’re just realistic bodies being drawn respectfully. I don’t know much about art but if my son says it helps him improve I believe him. My mom is entirely on my side. AITA?
Commenters had a lot to say in response.
coconutsoups wrote:
NTA, but your sister is. Learning to draw human bodies is an important part of developing an artist's skill. Life drawing classes are common, where a model will pose nude for artists to sketch them. Your son isn't doing anything that's out of line. Your sister is immediately making the connotation that bodies = s--ual and she's way overreacting.
I attended my first life drawing class at 17 (with parental permission) and it was the first of many that I really enjoyed. I have sketched men and women. When you're drawing a person, you are looking at the shapes, the angles, the shadows and highlights.
You're not looking at it from an attraction perspective at all. It's not impossible that your son could have some interest in some of the figures he draws, I mean, he is a teenage boy after all - but from your description of the sketches the kids found, nothing seems nefarious or something a parent should worry about.
amyloulie wrote:
NTA. Life drawing is a fine art and he seems to be enjoying it. Punishing him for something innocent would dampen his creativity. If he’d drawn people shagging it would be different, but he is drawing the human form in its most natural way.
Odd-Calligrapher9660 wrote:
NTA. Your sister is taking crazy pills. AND she shouldn’t be invading his privacy by going through his sketchbooks. Drawing nude people is what every boy everywhere has done at least once. As long as it is not an obsession, there is nothing wrong with it. Searching through people’s stuff without their permission is very wrong however. I would be having a word with her on that.
Caspian4136 wrote:
NTA. My oldest is in art school and on her very first day of school, they had live models for them to sketch. That's how artists learn how to draw anatomy, by drawing bodies. Clothes is harder to draw/paint so that came later for her. She's at one of the top art schools in Canada btw.
Glad you shut that down and pointed out that her kids were snooping where they shouldn't be in the first place. Also glad you're so supportive of your artistic son, keep up the good work :)
TraceyWoo419 wrote:
Ahahaha get her one of those Michelangelo's David aprons or dishtowels or whatever for Christmas.
Famous-Composer-3112 wrote:
NTA, but your sister is seriously disturbed. I was an art student in college, and I drew a LOT of naked people. When you're an artist (and it sounds like he is), you look at the shapes and the lines. The classroom is full of men and women who are concentrating on making something artistic, not lusting after the model. Your son is 15, not 5. And his aunt should not be telling him or you what to do.