Woman bans parents from grandchildren after they 'killed' her cat, 'it's just a cat.' AITA?
"AITA for refusing my parents their grandchildren cause they killed my cat?"
I (26f) moved to a new state about a year ago to live with my husband (24m). When we were moving me down, I had a cat named Kylo. Cutest little tuxedo cat with the personality to follow.
I had to house Kylo with my parents until my husband and I can afford to bring him home. I had had a few cats pass away from being outdoor cats; Shy from a hit and run, Ashlee from a nasty neighbour poisoning her, and Pumpkin running away.
When I dropped Kylo off to my parents, I explicitly told them to keep Kylo inside and that he was strictly an indoor cat. They agreed when I initially dropped them off, but after moving down, I’d get messages saying “oh but he’s curious...he just wants to see” (side note, my parents own 3 dogs and keep the back door open full time)
I constantly told them “no, kylo is an indoor cat.. keep him inside”. I begged and begged them to respect my decision with my cat and I had thought they had… I received a phone call from my father saying that Kylo was hit by a car and killed today.
In the midsts of sobbing and yelling at my dad, “I TOLD YOU TO KEEP HIM INSIDE!!” my dad said “oh stop… it’s just a cat” so I promptly hung up on him and immediately called my best friend (26f).
After a good cry and a stern talking, my husband and I decided to keep my parents from watching their grandchildren without us there, no matter the circumstances.
If they can’t respect my one wish with my cat, what is to say they will respect my wishes with my children. So AITAH for not allowing my parents the chance to babysit their grandchildren?
Here's what the top commenters had to say here:
Effective-Several said:
NTA. What if your children have allergies or are intolerant of certain foods? The old, ”Oh, but he/she/they were curious”, they just wanted a taste (of a forbidden food item), won’t work a second time.
Laquila said:
NTA. When you have your kids, you get to decide who watches them, supervised or not. You are not obligated to allow your parents to have your kids without you there.
Even if they hadn't been so grossly irresponsible and so damn cold about your cat. Don't start life as a parent thinking your parents have any rights or say in anything.
What you say goes. Always. So sorry about your precious Kylo. That's gotta hurt so bad. All the best.
hdmx539 said:
NTA. Your mother isn't entitled to your children just because she's their grandmother, it's a privilege to be a grandparent. She lost that privilege.
JoeDelta14 said:
NTA - The fact that they called you and tried to change your mind on letting the cat outside is actually pretty telling. They will decide how and what to do, regardless of your wishes and instructions because they think they know better and don’t respect your choices. It’s probably because you’re their child they they think they know better.
Don’t want your kids to have sugar late in the day, sorry but grandparents know best. Don’t want them playing on their screens, sorry grandparents think you’re being ridiculous.
Even if they don’t agree with you, they would honor your choices if they respected you. When watching your children they are always going to do what they want regardless of your expressed instructions.
MamaPagan said:
NTA Also make it very clear to them why they don't get to be around your kid alone. I'm so sorry for the loss of your friend (cat). I am traumatized by the loss of mine (heatwave... dryer was making weird sounds when I ran a load of laundry... still not ok) and it's not as simple as "it's just a cat"...
It's not even just that he's dead now, it's the fact that it was 100% preventable and they refused to listen to your one single boundary about it. They are the cause of your cats death because they're (probably) bad pet owners and at this point, parents.
UnicornDemons said:
NTA the whole making excuses and "knowing what is best" is what my mom does. I saw it with our pets growing up and didn't realize how badly it was impacting me until I moved away. Stand firm and set boundaries. I am sorry for your lost kitty. Best of luck as you parent and be parented.