'AITA for not allowing my sister's fiancé to use my late father's guitar during their wedding?'

"AITA for not allowing my sister's fiancé to use my late father's guitar during their wedding, despite his belief that I'm being spiteful?"

My dad died three years ago. He was a guitarist who played a single guitar every day and left it behind. I grew up watching father make songs with it, so it holds a lot of sentimental value for me. It's also essentially the last tangible item I own of him.

Next month is my younger sister's (26F) wedding, as her maid of honor I have been assisting her with everything, from organizing to covering some expenses because she is on a tight budget.

Her fiancé (30M) requested a few weeks ago if he could use my dad's guitar to play a song at the wedding. I declined since the guitar is priceless, delicate and to be honest I'm afraid anything might happen to it. I don't know if the hold it to much significant as I do so I proposed renting a comparable guitar or even bringing it so he could pose for pictures with it.

They both got upset and said I’m being “spiteful” and “making the wedding about me." My sister cried and told me it would mean a lot to have dad’s guitar there for the song. I feel awful but I just…can’t risk it. Dad’s guitar isn’t replaceable.

Now half my family thinks I’m selfish for not “sharing Dad’s memory” and some cousins have even said they’d “never say no if it was their sibling’s wedding.” I’m still attending the wedding, still helping, but my sister barely talks to me. AITA for refusing to let them use my dad’s guitar?

Here's what people had to say to OP:

Ok-Lawyer6864 said:

Don’t miss out on new memories by trying to hold onto old ones. I’m sorry your dad has passed, but the guitar one day will be gone. Maybe it will survive your whole life, but here is some real talk: whether you have his guitar or not it isn’t going to make you closer or further away from him. Your memories you will have.

I have a suspicion if he were alive he would want it to be used on someone’s special day so that everyone can have a new fond memory. He is gone OP, don’t let a ghost you have made up create a rift with people still alive.

adventuresofViolet said:

YTA, your dad's guitar is also her dad's guitar. Additionally, guitars are meant to be played. I have a feeling if he was a musician he would want his guitar to be played instead of sitting in a closet. You're holding them back from having a meaningful experience, shame on you. Especially considering, and I hope it doesn't happen, your house could go down in flames tomorrow and it could be gone.

happy4clappy said:

Ehhh…YTA. He was her father too. This sounds like a really loving tribute to your dad. I’m sure the guitar has a case and you could keep it in there until the song and put it right back. Is your mom still alive? If so, enlist her or another trusted relative to keep an eye on the case until you can secure it in your car.

coffeequeen1738 said:

I mean…kind of? I understand the sentimental value it holds for you, but I’m sure it holds the same value to your sister. He was her dad too, and it may be a sweet way to have him included in the ceremony since he won’t be there in person to do the fatherly duties, such as walking her down the aisle and the father daughter dance.

I don’t want to say you’re the AH but at the same time I think it would be a very sweet thing for you to allow and you haven’t really given any examples to explain why you think anything would happen to it. YTA.

Inside-Grade-5025 said:

YTA. An instrument has zero value when it’s not played. Do you think a man who made music every day wouldn’t have loved to see his guitar used in his daughter’s wedding? It’s time to step outside your own grief here.

ScarletNotThatOne said:

YTA. They're not entitled to it, because it's yours. But it would mean a lot to them. And why not? Your father played it every day, it'll surely survive one more song. Guitars are delicate if you run them over with a car; they're not delicate if you carry them in a hard shell case and play music on them.

If you are careful with the guitar, there's very little risk. I think what's really going on is something to do with how you are grieving your father -- as if keeping the guitar to yourself somehow makes you closer to your father. But it would be great if you could find a way to be generous with the guitar. And I'm reasonably sure that you'll still feel just as close to your father.