Woman’s special day overshadowed by MIL trying on wedding gowns; bride calls her out. AITA?
"Am I wrong for loudly announcing to the family that there is a reason my MIL doesn't have female friends?"
Ok-Memory4861
My fiance Jack and i are currently in the middle of planning our wedding. I got guilted into inviting my MIL wedding dress shopping (not by Jack) because she doesn't have a daughter and apparently she thinks I don't like her. I wasn't totally comfortable with her coming but agreed.
It was meant to be a special day with my nearest and dearest. We were going to go shopping and then have a fancy lunch. I even had cute little signs made so they could rank the dresses.
Someone asked my MIL about the ring she was wearing and asked if she was engaged. To be fair I know she wasn't flaunting the ring and that she has the right to wear her own engagement ring. My MIL said she was and then began talking about her own proposal which I found a little rude but whatever.
At the boutique my MIL seemed distracted and was acting all wistful running her fingers over dresses and basically in her own little world. My consultant tried to shut it down.
While I was changing I guess my MIL was talking about what she wanted for her wedding and another consultant who didn't have a client at the time heard. Now here is the thing, my MIL's ring is HUGE, like I would feel scared to wear something like that. I guess the other consultant saw the ring and figured easy money. She asked if my MIL wanted to try on "just one" because she had something "perfect".
My MIL was like "you wouldn't be mad right?" and to be honest I didn't know what to say. I didnt want to come off as a diva but it was so rude. So, my MIL tried on a dress which kind of eclipsed the ones I'd been trying on, because she told them she didn't have a budget. At this point I felt like the day was all about her and her wedding, but I didn't know what to say.
When I told Jack he tore into her. My MIL played dumb and said she thought I was ok with it. Then MIL's fiance, Leo, came up to us and he was clearly whispering like he didn't want her to hear.
He said we were being too hard on her and she just got excited. He said I should know she is a little socially awkward, and she probably just got excited because she only has male friends.
This is where I might be an AH as Leo clearly didn't want her to hear this and we were at my MIL's parents house with other family there. I said loudly "well there is a reason she doesn't have female friends" and when we came out of the kitchen, I could definitely tell my MIL had heard.
Here were the top rated comments from readers in response to the OP's post:
RazzmatazzFine
MIL was being inappropriate. Her behavior was very cringy.
naivemetaphysics
OP also needs to communicate. Her MIL was allowed to come. This OP obviously hates her. She should have said no. Her MIL was asked about her ring and answered the question. She talked about the wedding and honestly, OP or anyone could have cut in.
Her MIL asked if she could try on a dress. Yeah she shouldn’t have asked. IMO it was not okay. At the same time, OP could have said, no this is my appointment. Her MIL was not told OP had an issue.
This post is feeling a little cringe and bridezilla. Which, given bride is going to make her self look better (we all do it), I’m going to go out on a limb and say that she was being passive aggressive and her MIL didn’t pick up on if.
OP could have prevented this and what she did to her MIL was rude and over the top. I think she was wrong. She’s also driving a wedge between son and mother, which may bite her later. By not communicating and expecting her MIL to read her mind, she set her up. I swear if MIL is on the spectrum, I am firmly planted in YTA.
ccl-now
You were wrong in the first place for having someone you clearly dislike at an event where, as you said, you wanted to feel comfortable. When you invite a problem, don't be shocked when a problem turns up.
Spare-Article-396
You are wrong. You started off by being annoyed that she answered a Q that she was asked, from someone in your party. MIL shouldn’t have entertained trying on a gown, but:
"MIL played dumb and said she thought I was ok with it."
That’s because she asked you, and you weren’t honest. She literally asked you.
HugeNefariousness222
You were asked if she could come and you allowed it. You were asked if her trying on a dress would bother you and you allowed it. You call her rude for discussing her proposal after someone asked about her ring. To be hoinest, you have Bridezilla vibes throughout and the reason she thinks you don't like her is because you don't. You sound rather exhausting.
Correct-Jump8273
Yes, you were so very wrong. You should've said, I know you're excited about your engagement, but can you make an appointment and come back another time? The other consultant is to blame for dangling a very tasty looking carrot in front of MIL's face, most would find it impossible not to try on a dress.
Your consultant should've stepped in and told the other consultant to back down or said, (consultant) name, why don't you make an appointment with MIL? So many balls dropped. Your comment was flat out mean. It's a wonder you have female friends with that mouth of yours.
NoFleas
Yes, that was wrong of you. MIL never made a personal attack on you or was malicious to you in any way but you felt the need to attack her as a person. Kinda lame and speaks volumes about your character, not hers.