'AITA for not answering the door when my husband's boss arrived unannounced?' UPDATED
"AITA for not answering the door when my husband's boss arrived unannounced?"
Baby is 4 weeks old. It was 5 pm on a weekday and I was home with the baby and toddler. I was upstairs in the middle of pumping and baby was asleep when the doorbell rang. We get a lot of solicitors and I never answer the door so I just continued with pumping.
5 minutes later I hear my husband and another voice downstairs and he comes storming up the stairs and is like “sorry I didn’t know they were coming” and grabs the baby and heads back downstairs, I’m like what who is it, and he explains and says his boss and wife are at the door with a baby gift.
I respond “okay” as I’m still attached to the pump machine. I finish up and then head into the bathroom to pee and put on lotion. Husband comes back upstairs a couple minutes later and is very upset at me for not coming down to talk to them and receive their gift.
I told him I didn’t realize I needed to and or that they were staying. He says it was very rude of me and I’m an a hole for 1. Not answering the door and 2. Not coming down after he told me. He says they were asking him where I was/what I was doing and it was awkward for him…
Edit to clarify: husband was not home when they arrived, he arrived 5 minutes after them and they were still standing at the door I guess
Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:
LetsGetsThisPartyOn said:
NTA. YOU MAKE AN APPOINTMENT when visiting someone with a new born. Damn!
triplescorpio7 said:
NTA - You were literally in the middle of pumping.. should you just open the door with the pump still strapped? Your husband needs to realize that you’re going through a lot right now and you don’t owe anyone your time right now besides the baby.
EuropeSusan said:
NTA, they were unannounced and you were busy. does he lnow you can't stop pumping for a couple of minutes and continue later? This is not how it works. And it was awkward because he didn't want to tell his boss what you were actually doing.
perpetuallyxhausted said:
NTA it was rude of them to come by uninvited and unannounced. You were pumping breast milk did your husband expect you to walk downstairs with the pump still attached?
MameDennis1974 said:
NTA. His boss couldn’t give the gift at work? The very least he could have left it at the door and went on his way. And you were attached to a machine pumping for your baby. You were at your work!
freckyfresh said:
NTA. It’s actually far more rude to show up to someone’s house unannounced than it is to not partake in hosting the aforementioned unannounced guests. I don’t care who you are, I’m not answering the door if you didn’t ask me if you could come to my house.
Later OP came back and updated her post:
We’ve talked about this further and husband apologized for his behavior stating that he was stressed out rushing home from work.
He said that had it been a friend of his or his family he would not have cared if I didn’t come down or not but since it was his boss it was important and he thought I realized that when I found out who it was (typical response from him wanting to impress boss).
Apparently he had been texting with the wife for a week trying to arrange a time for them to bring the gift and it never worked out so she assumed it would be ok to try and stop by. He maintains that he does not agree that it was rude of them to stop by since they were bringing us gifts.
He said he doesn’t think it’s rude for someone to ring the bell and try to see if we’re available in general. We basically ended it on an agree to disagree on that but I told him absolutely zero future unexpected guests for any reason and he just kind of said ok and that was it.