'AITA for always asking my barber to make adjustments after my haircut? (he banned me from his barber shop)'
"AITA for always asking my barber to make adjustments after my haircut? (he banned me from his barber shop)"
Looking to get this off my chest because it was quite upsetting to me. For context, I'm a musician (mostly weddings) and since people are always taking pictures of me/I want to look good on my social media, I find it important that my hair looks good and even.
I don't tell this to my barber or any barber I go to because I don't want to come off as snobby or pretentious but if I notice that something is uneven I will respectfully ask to make adjustments.
For some reason this is always the case after every haircut but usually I just point it out, it gets adjusted, everything's perfect, then I pay/tip and come back the next month. Never had an issue. I've also been going to this same barber for three years.
I'm Filipino/Chinese and I've had a hard time finding someone who could cut my hair right for some reason. This barber is Filipino and I've always been very happy walking out. I thought we were cool too because we were both Filipino. I would even give him gifts every Christmas. This was a guy that I really felt like I could trust.
Today I had the haircut done and then asked if the shape of my temples could be matched because one side was pointy and the other side was rounded. It's happened before and everything has always been good after making a small cut. I also as always tried to ask as respectfully as possible. But for some reason today my barber goes "you always ask to do this.
You can't expect everything to be perfectly even. The ears, eyes, face, and head shape for everyone is uneven. You need to get a different barber to cut your hair. Do not come back". He didn't quite yell at me but it was with a nasty tone that I've never heard him do before.
I really don't know where this came from because never did I ever get the idea that he was annoyed by something like that. I would always try to be respectful. I would even pay extra money if I could just to make things right. I was so caught off guard that I just said "Oh okay. I'm sorry. Thank you" then paid/tipped and left as fast as I could.
Is it too much to ask for an even haircut? I vented about this to a friend and he recommended that I just say "I'll pay more if I have to to make things right". Normally I would be fine saying that but after what my barber said, I don't feel comfortable trusting him ever again (I mean, he's the one holding the clipper/he could very easily ruin me with a bad haircut).
And if anyone could recommend me a good barber (preferentially a Filipino or someone recommended by a Filipino) in northern New Jersey, that would be amazing.
EDIT: If this is relevant, I ask for a number 5 crew cut with a mid fade.
EDIT2: A lot of people are asking me why I didn't find a different barber in the first place if my usual barber couldn't get my hair straight on the first try. It's because I've had a lot of bad luck with people cutting my hair... even when I paid top dollar for it.
I go to this guy because he's Filipino and I'm Filipino. I can't find any Filipino barbers in the area. I've even tried in the past because my usual barber goes to the Philippines for a month every year and I always end up having to go to a non-Filipino barber who ruins my cut for a whole month.
I can never find another Filipino barber, This guy would also get my haircut 98% straight. It would always just take a minute to get that extra 2%. I've walked out of his shop extremely happy every single time. I've always tried to be respectful about it every single time too.
Here is what readers had to say in response to the OP’s post:
NTA. It's normal and reasonable to ask for your haircut to be the way you want it. As long as you tip reasonably well, it's all good.
I'm a stylist, at the end of every cut I say "how is this looking? Anything that needs adjustment?" If they say "I'm sure it's fine" I always say "ok, just remember, you wear your hair everyday, you know where any tricky parts are, always ok to adjust stuff".
Don't over think it, just find a new barber. He could have a hard time cutting your hair every time and just doesn't want to anymore. could have had a really bad day and just snapped. NTA.
NTA. There's more barbers than clients needing them, take your business elsewhere and move on. This guy doesn't know how to retain clients.
NTA but...why did you keep going to him if you kept having to have him make adjustments after every cut? That aside, he could have approached it differently or at least have given you a warning. If he, as the provider of the service, was bothered by the requests, he could and should have spoken up well before this instead of just telling you to not come back.
NTA but it was well within his rights to refuse future service. He’s not your ideal barber. You’re not his ideal customer. Search for someone who meets your standards or will tolerate your critiques.
The barber should want you to look your best. When someone says "where do you get your hair cut?" It should be because it looks soo good they too want to go there. Not because its so botched they never want to end up in his chair. There's a barber out there with this mentality. Just not the one you're seeing.
NAH - we can't curate how people perceive us, especially people we're paying. Your good intentions were misunderstood at some point along the way, or you weren't picking up cues, or probably a combination of both.
It's very possible there were other issues, and this time was the final straw. Maybe he just had a really bad day. You'll never really know. Either way, no AHs here. Misunderstandings like this happen sometimes, especially when money is involved.