'AITA for asking BF of three years to not go to a wedding without me?'

"AITA for asking boyfriend of three years to not go to a wedding without me?"

For reference, English is not my first language, but here we go. Me and my boyfriend have been living together for a year, and been a couple for a total of 3 years. I have met my boyfriends childhood friend that I am now posting about several times and he has always been very kind to me. However, meeting his fiancée, was a different story.

She was very rude to me, talked only to my boyfriend and when I tried to be apart of their conversation she told me that my boyfriend used to be in love with her friend, which I had no idea about since it happened 10 years ago before I was apart of his life.

I continued to try to be kind to her and complemented her engagement ring, asking when they we’re supposed to get married. Her reply to me was “when is your boyfriend going to propose to you?”

I was surprised and said; I don’t know and remained silent for a while, letting them keep their conversation going before asking my boyfriend to come with me to the bar to get a drink. At the bar I explained I didn’t feel very welcome and asked if we could leave. He wanted to stay and we did. I continued to try to be kind to everyone since I didn’t know most of the people there.

I have since then, met both my boyfriends friend and his fiancé and it has been fine. However, We recently received a wedding invitation that states that they are getting married this summer. My boyfriend has payed for a bachelor party that includes them going for a weekend in another country.

Unfortunately, My name was not on the wedding invitation, however it was signed “we look forward to celebrate our special day with you”. Since me and my boyfriend have been a couple for three years and are living together, we both assumed I’d be included in the invite, but to make sure my boyfriend asked the groom if it was okay to rvsp for both of us.

His friend responded that they couldn’t have every one bring a plus one. As my boyfriend thought it was a decision for all of their mutual friends who wasn’t married he said he understood. However, it now seems that I’m the only one of the girlfriends/wife’s who are not invited.

I would really hate for him to miss this event, but clearly the fiancée doesn’t like me and I feel like if my boyfriend went without me it would be making it okay for her to exclude me for no real reason.

I think he should ask his friend why I’m the only one not invited and ask how he’s friend would’ve reacted if it was the other way around and it was them in our situation.

They’ve known each other for nearly 20 years, it just seems wrong to not invite his partner as well and it’s breaking my heart seeing my boyfriend going through having to choose, yet at the same time I feel as all our mutual friends are going he should stand up for me AITA?

What do you think? AITA? This is what commenters had to say:

DoIwantToKnow6417 said:

His friend responded that they couldn’t have every one bring a plus one. So the person who paid for his bachelor party in another country can't bring a plus one???? My boyfriend has payed for a bachelor party that includes them going for a weekend in another country. NTA. They are, and so is your BF if he accepts this behavior towards you.

StellarManatee said:

NTA. This is bullsh!t and they are clearly isolating you. Your bf paid for a bachelor party in another country and yet they "can't afford" to invite his long term partner. That's incredibly tacky and they clearly think snubbing you is more important than your bf's friendship.

How on earth is your boyfriend not furious about this rudeness to you but also rudeness to him? Can he not see how everyone else is getting a plus one but not him? Is he not embarassed?

Artistic-Wolverine21 said:

NTA he should step up and they should respect your relationship. Fiance probably wants to see him there alone to sick her friend/boyfriends ex on him to make him change his mind.

KillerKittenInPJs said:

NTA. Ask your boyfriend to tell his bestie that it's not fair for your to be excluded when all the other gf's have been invited. If they continue to exclude you after that conversation and your BF wants to go without you or if he doesn't stand up for you and have this conversation, he doesn't care about you enough for you to stay with him

andromache97 said:

NTA. Why isn't your boyfriend standing up for you? I don't think allowing friends to treat a partner like this is right at all. If I were your bf, I would RSVP no and cancel the lavish bachelor party, too.