'AITA for asking my father-in-law to take his shoes off in our apartment?'

"AITA for asking my father-in-law to wear shoe covers or take his shoes off in our apartment?"

I (31F) live with my husband (33M) in a small one-bedroom with a very light rug. I had foot surgery 6 weeks ago and do my PT at home on the rug with a mat. Because of that, we set a temporary no-shoes rule to keep it clean and avoid tracking in dirt and germs. We put a bench by the door, a rack, slippers in multiple sizes, and a box of disposable shoe covers for folks who can’t or don’t want to take shoes off.

Everyone’s been fine with it, except my father-in-law. He’s visited three times since my surgery and refuses every time. He says it’s “rude to tell guests what to do with their shoes” and “I’m not wrestling with boots in your doorway.” I offered him shoe covers, a stool, a long-handled shoehorn, even said he could keep a pair of slide-on slippers here.

He said shoe covers are “demeaning,” and the last time he came in anyway with muddy treads. I had to spend an hour spot-cleaning, which sucked because standing still hurts right now.

After the third round of arguing, I told him calmly: “I want you here, but if you won’t remove or cover your shoes while I’m recovering, let’s meet at your place or out for lunch.” He got quiet, left early, and later told my husband I “banned” him from our home.

My husband thinks I embarrassed his dad and should have let it slide for family harmony, because it’s temporary and “not worth the drama.” I told him the rule applies to everyone, even delivery drivers, and I’m the one who has to clean this crap up when I can barely bend.

Idk if I’m being too strict or made it into a bigger deal than it had to be. I get that shoe customs vary and I don’t want to be a jerk over a rug. But I also feel like we offered a lot of reasonable options and got nowhere. AITA for enforcing the shoes-off or shoe-cover rule and suggesting we meet elsewhere if he won’t comply? Any scripts or compromises I’m missing here?

Here's what people had to say to OP:

ded517 said:

NTA, but the real problem is your husband. Why is he more concerned about his father’s ego than your physical health. And he should clean up after him, if he’s so concerned about FIL’s feelings.

Lupus-Yonderboy said:

NTA. Your husband can scrub the rug next time if he thinks it's not a big deal.

ScarletNotThatOne said:

NTA, but your husband is. He should either be laying down the law for his father, or doing all the cleaning. This guy is willing to sacrifice you to appease his father. This is a more serious problem than just about shoes.

MissDelaylah said:

NTA. I don’t understand wearing outside shoes in the house. Dirt, bacteria and viruses get tracked in on the bottom of dirty shoes. Your FIL is lucky it’s a temporary rule. In my house, and everyone else I know, you ALWAYS take your shoes off at the damn door.

RelatableMolaMola said:

NTA and why do you have to be the one to clean the floor when you're meant to be recovering from surgery? This is the sort of thing a supportive spouse and partner should be stepping in (pun not intended) to help with so that you can recover better.

ponyboycurtis1980 said:

NTA, I don't care who you are. My house, my rules.