'AITA for asking for money for the food I bought for a friend’s wedding?' 'The groom's family is very rich.'
"AITA for asking for money for the food I bought for a friend’s wedding?"
I am 28F living in DE with a well-paid job, currently supporting both, myself and my bf, who lost his job. Recently, I was invited to a two-day Spanish-Italian wedding as the bride's witness.
The two day event was held three hours away from the city and included a wedding ceremony, lunch, party and next day a barbecue to celebrate the relative's birthday. We were told not to bring any gifts as the couple has planned second wedding in Italy for 80+ people and rented out a mansion.
The groom’s family is very rich. As a witness and best friend, I always went above and beyond by helping her in every day life. For the wedding I rented a car for +250 euro, I was picking up guests and helping a lot with logistics (bringing ppl from and to the airport).
However, things took a weird turn when I arrived to the barbecue and was told that there is not enough food for us and we have to go shopping. Fine, it happens, we made a list of groceries for ourselves.
While we shopped, I got calls from the hosts to buy more food. My bf was even asked to get fresh bread. At the barbecue, I was asked to help with cooking which I ended up doing for one hour.
The food which we bought was distributed around all tables, meaning that we kinda sponsored the barbecue which we were invited to? The stupidest moment was that when my bf asked for bread, he wasn’t allowed to take the fresh bread he bought?
Fiancé’s relative was not doing much, he was suffering from hangover from previous night. Others were hanging around and enjoying the setup. I had a nasty feeling, though I was happy that I could help.
Afterwards, the couple went on a honeymoon and asked me to take care of their plants for one month, which is totally fine with me. I prepared them a nice bottle of champagne to celebrate their return from the Honeymoon.
As I spent a lot of money on food, I wanted to get some reimbursement. It’s not like I bought food for only my bf, my friend and me, but for all others who could have gone shopping as well. I added the expenses to Splitwise and assigned 2/5 to the bride.
Despite my efforts and expenses, I was harshly criticized for being a terrible friend, for not bringing a present, not washing dishes, or contributing enough financially. I was told that I should be thankful that their friends allowed us to stay overnight (we got them a bottle of expensive wine as a thank you).
Then her fiance accused me of trying to get their money and suggested I check my finances. The groom even implied that I didn't do enough for the wedding. However, I had already followed their words not to bring a gift and had been supportive in various ways. I was at work and all of this destroyed me emotionally.
In conclusion, I felt unappreciated and hurt by the accusations and misunderstandings from my friend and the couple. I had genuinely tried to help and contribute, but it seemed like my efforts were not recognized or valued.
Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:
nonamejohnsonmore said:
NTA. Use the champagne to water the plants and cut them out of your life.
Mapilean said:
NTA. You realized what kind of "friends" they are, when they showed you their true colors, though. Be thankful for that. If they insist not paying you back, tell them to consider it your wedding present, then drop the acquaintance entirely.
me_version_2 said:
Some people who are very rich stay that way because they take advantage of other people. Like making them buy food for a whole group. Do you really want these people in your life for them to continue to take advantage of you. It will now always be at the back of your mind. NTA.
yolo_pcar3107 said:
NTA. You should send her this post link and the total of your groceries. Tell her if she doesn't pay, it's her wedding present.
forgeris said:
NTA, if someone tells me don't bring a gift and then later accuses me of not bringing them gift I just cut them out of my life, it's too much work for nothing.
ampero83 said:
NTA. Those are not friends. They took full advantage of you.
jadehakai said:
NTA. You were invited as a witness, not a servant. You shouldn't have had to "do" anything. This isn't a "best friend" this is a user, who took advantage of someone already struggling. Cut them out, and if she cries in the future, tough. She reaps what she sowed.