'AITA for asking my friend to leave my birthday dinner?' 'She made the entire night about her.'
"AITA for asking my friend to leave my birthday dinner because she made the entire night about her?"
So, I (28F) just had my birthday dinner last weekend. I invited a close group of friends to a nice restaurant, and everyone was in a good mood—until my friend Claire (29F) arrived. For some context, Claire has always had a bit of a dramatic streak, but I never thought she'd pull something like this.
The night started off great, but the moment Claire walked in, she sighed loudly and said, "Oh, sorry, I almost didn’t make it. It's been such a terrible day." Naturally, we asked her what happened because, well, we’re decent people.
She launched into a story about her ex texting her, how work has been draining her, and how she’s just feeling really emotionally fragile right now. At first, I was sympathetic—everyone has bad days. But as the night went on, she kept steering the conversation back to herself.
Someone would try to talk about something lighthearted, like their new job or a recent trip, and Claire would somehow find a way to turn it into something about her struggles. "Oh, you went to Italy? That must be nice. I can’t even afford a vacation because I’m paying for therapy," or, "Oh, you got a promotion? Must be nice to have your life together."
By the time dessert came, I was barely holding it together. I didn’t want to make a scene, but I was frustrated that my birthday dinner had become "Claire's Pity Party." I quietly asked her if we could maybe focus on something more positive, and she rolled her eyes and said, "Wow, sorry I’m not cheerful enough for you on your special day."
That was it for me. I calmly told her that if she was that upset and needed support, maybe she should call it a night and head home. She got really defensive, said I was being "insensitive," and stormed out. The rest of the evening was fine after that, but the damage was done.
Now, Claire is texting our mutual friends saying I humiliated her and that she was just being honest about her feelings. Some friends think I was justified, others think I should’ve let it slide because "Claire is just like that." Honestly, I don’t think I did anything wrong—who hijacks someone’s birthday like that? So, AITA for asking her to leave my birthday dinner?
Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:
Zytrax7 said:
NTA. Ya know why "Claire is just like that?" Because people keep letting things like this slide. Maybe you'll end up a trendsetter after this, and inspire others to stop putting up with her self-centered attention-seeking nonsense.
Traditional-Day1140 said:
NTA. I can't stand people like Claire. Maybe stop inviting Claire to events that are important to you. Personally, I would ignore her completely. She is very self centered and not a good friend.
minimalist_coach said:
NTA. It sounds like this is common behavior for her, I wouldn’t invite her to anything in the future. You don’t have to end the friendship, but you can stop making her a priority for sure.
Comfortable-Focus123 said:
NTA - Obviously, Claire thrives on attention. The friends who say "she is just like that" are just adding to Claire's self absorption.
Potential_Beat6619 said:
NTA - She's drama. Good for you.
SheepherderNo785 said:
You are NTA! Maybe make a list of her good points and one of her bad points. Sometimes, seeing it in writing can make it clearer. She sounds exhausting, she should know when to stay home.
Anxious-Routine-5526 said:
NTA. Claire is "just like that" because people don't call her out on her BS.
floatingvan said:
NTA. Claire can be like that all she wants but you don’t have to have put up with it at your special event. Lesson learnt, no more inviting Claire.