'AITA for asking my GF to wear something more appropriate for Thanksgiving?'
"AITA for asking my GF to wear something more appropriate for Thanksgiving?"
My gf has met my parent before and her clothing choice for that event didn’t give a good impression . She likes to wear very fitted and short clothes that she does looks great in but they are not the best outfits for meeting people.
She met them was when she came to me to a family funeral and her black dress was more of the club outfit than anything. It was not a good first impression. My sister actually asked me if I brought an escort because she couldn’t believe that someone would wear a club outfit to a funeral.
I played it off that I invited her last minute and that was the only back dress she owns. She is invited for Thanksgiving and my mom put a reminder in the family chat that everyone be family friendly.
I asked my gf what she is going to wear to Thanksgiving. It is a club outfit. It is a very short skirt with a crop top ( looks more like a bra than a shirt) and high heel boots. I told her that it’s not appropriate for the event and asked her to wear something less revealing.
This started an argument and I am standing firm that this isn’t appropriate for the family function. She is livid I am trying to control her outfit choices. My point is you need to dress for the occasion and a club outfit isn’t that.
Here’s what people had to say to OP:
Holy moly NTA, that's not event appropriate and she needs to learn to read the room. If it's an adult event she needs to be a real adult and put on something that can cover over body a little, she's not headed to an EDM festival she's headed for a family dinner.
NTA - Common sense and dressing appropriately for the situation over rides personal choice / attention seeking. If she can't find something that modest for the event, leave her at home - this isn't about her.
NTA. I'm not a fan of policing other people's clothing choices, but if she doesn't have the maturity and/or common sense to understand that club attire is not appropriate for a family holiday dinner, maybe you should reconsider dating her. In the end, she can choose how she dresses herself, but you can choose whether to take her to Thanksgiving dinner based on how she is dressed.
In all seriousness, it might be worth her taking to a therapist to work through why she wants to present herself like that regardless of the event and company. Does she not think she has anything to offer beyond looks/sexuality? Does she need to always be the center of attention, regardless of whether that attention is positive?
NTA but why was the first time she met your family at a funeral? Talk about morbid lol.
I assume you both are grown. If so, NTA. Idk why reddit assumes adults are completely incapable of reading the room. It’s borderline insulting how little common sense some of these comments assume OP’s girlfriend has. Like…come on.
IMO you two are not compatible. YTA for asking her to change her clothing choices to fit you and your family. You are NTA for wanting to be with someone who is respectful to you and your family. Now it's on you to do exactly that. Break up with this girl because this will be a never ending argument and find someone more suited to you and your family. If you don't? Then you're definitely TAH.
ESH but mostly you. I feel like she should know to dress down for your family functions. It’s not a club event. But I also wonder if you’re one of those guys who really liked her club outfits until you became serious and now expect her to change who she is as a person because what once attracted you now isn’t demure enough.
If you don’t want to date someone who dresses like a club girl, don’t date someone who dresses like a club girl. Dating one and then telling her to change is AH behavior.
NTA, but just break up. Desperation to be found sexy at a funeral she attended as your guest is a major red flag. She should have learned how to dress for each occasion as a child. She’s not interested in learning now. You can’t parent her into learning, and she’ll just find it controlling. She has issues. Tell her this isn’t working out, wish her well, and go your separate ways.
YTA. You can’t police what other people wear, you can only ask nicely and set boundaries. If she says she is who she is and won’t change then you have to decide if she’s who you want to date or not. This isn’t her problem, it’s yours.
NTA. i’ll be the first to admit that i’m not exactly conservative when it comes to my closet, but if a partner asked me “can you wear something less revealing to meet my family” i’d find a nice shirt and jeans or an old dress. It’s not hard.
NTA. I’m a woman. I love wearing clothes that make me feel good- of course we all should be able to wear whatever we want in a perfect world, but part of being an adult is realizing if uou want respect, you have to dress for it.
I’m sure she wouldn’t want you shirtless with basketball shorts at thanksgiving dinner. This is the same stuff. For men and women. My husband wears band tees every day. When we go somewhere nice he dresses for it. I am usually comfy, when I go somewhere I dress for it.
It’s great she loves her body and the way she looks, she can do that AND dress respectfully. I am shocked at everyone saying ur an ah for wanting your gf to be dressed appropriately. I could NEVER imagine wearing a crop top to my husbands family dinner. Do these people think wearing a crop top and mini skirt is ok for a job interview???
NTA and if she don't want to change, don't take her. If she pulls the "You're controlling about my clothes" explain to her, her attire is offensive to the people at the event and if you can't comply with the norm of the event, you can't be there. Maybe have some second thoughts of your choice of a partner that can't seem to not be able to dress appropriately for certain occasions?