'AITA for asking my girlfriend to just respect when I say no?'

"AITA for asking my girlfriend to just respect when I say no to something?"

Okay so my (25F) girlfriend (25F) and I were cleaning up my apartment tonight. For context we are both vet students and both busy with classes and exams coming up. I kept telling her how much I appreciate her helping me as I was feeling pretty overwhelmed.

As I was finishing sweeping she asked if she could rearrange the litter boxes. I said no not right now maybe we can take a look at that later. I guess I could’ve been more open, but I was hyper-fixated on the task I was doing. I turn around and she’s rearranging the litter boxes anyway. I made a slightly annoyed sigh but let it go.

When I came back in the room, she wasn’t talking to me and I asked her what was wrong? She started going off that I was so rude and what was so bad about her idea. I just said that I was sorry and if it made her happy that way than that’s fine. She just kept going.

A little while later I sat down to try and explain where I was coming from, I told her that sometimes when I’m overstimulated and hyper focused on a different task that I can be a bit sharp which wasn’t fair to her and that I was sorry.

I told her I just wished that when I told her no to doing that right now that she’d just respect that and have a conversation with me later on (we’ve had a similar conversation about a cat tree). She said that that makes her feel like she’s gentle parenting a two year old and didn’t see the big deal.

This obviously felt really hurtful as I was only trying to find a healthy way for us to communicate. She just started blankly at me in a condescending way and I left the conversation feeling worse than I did before. So AITA?

Here's what people had to say to OP:

LMShep said:

NTA. Honestly OP it sounds like you handled this really well. You might have been a little brisk in your response, but you acknowledged it and apologized for it. It sounds like she has an issue with respecting your wishes in your own home.

OldWolfNewTricks said:

NTA -- Regardless of whether or not it makes sense to her, she asked to do something and you said no. Then when you tried to discuss it with her she completely disregarded your POV by saying "I was right." This is probably going to be an ongoing problem.

umbrano said:

NTA. No should mean no. You guys were working on one task, she asked to do something and you gave an answer. The fact that you expressed yourself completely and she decided to be condescending instead and say she felt like she was parenting a two year old…there’s no reasoning with people like that.

Moose-Live said:

NTA. Gf: can I do a thing? You: not now Gf: does it anyway.

GothPenguin said:

NTA-It’s your apartment. Helping clean it doesn’t mean rearranging to suit her needs or flat out ignoring your no.

Specialist-Owl2660 said:

NTA, man this was so close to NAH but then you had to try and communicate in a healthy and she had to be rude about it.