'AITA for asking my wife to wear a hairnet while cooking?' 'I’ll find at least one strand in every meal.'
"AITA for asking my wife to wear a hairnet while cooking?"
So, here’s the situation. My wife loves to cook, and I truly appreciate her meals—they’re delicious. However, her hair keeps getting in the food. It’s long and tends to shed a lot, so it’s almost a guarantee that I’ll find at least one strand in every meal.
I’ve tried to casually mention it a few times, saying stuff like, “Oh, looks like your hair wanted to join dinner,” but it hasn’t made much of a difference. Finally, I decided to ask her to wear a hairnet while cooking.
I figured it was a practical solution. She got really upset, saying it’s embarrassing and that I’m making her feel like she’s gross. That wasn’t my intention—I just don’t love finding hair in my food.
She says I’m overreacting and should just deal with it since it’s not that big of a deal. I think it’s a simple request to improve both of our dining experience. Now I’m second-guessing myself because I don’t want to hurt her feelings, but I also don’t think I’m being unreasonable. AITA?
Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:
Mobile_Following_198 said:
NAH. I have long hair (like down to my butt). I shed a lot. I don't shed into my food while I cook. Shedding into ALL of the food is highly unusual. She's either being unhygienic with her hair placement during cooking, or she may have a health condition that is making her shed more or not notice things.
It's also completely reasonable that you don't have hair in your food. Alternatively, you can cook, but since she likes to cook, this may be a less desirable alternative. If she has really long hair, maybe suggest a claw clip or pulling her hair back in a ponytail or something while cooking.
It's a pretty normal thing for most people with long hair to do while they cook, not just for hygiene purposes but also general comfort.
MommyGandalf said:
NTA...well...not quite. I think it would be more reasonable to ask her to put it up (maybe even brush it out first) just in a pony or bun. It's normal to throw your hair up when cooking for others. I do think a hairnet is a little, well, extra.
prevknamy said:
ESH. There’s a middle ground - why doesn’t she just pull her hair back? Even if a hair ends up in there - who cares? It’s not some stranger’s hair. Hair isn’t particularly gross or germy.
You interact with her lost hair, shed skin cells, and all other biological matter every second of every day. One hair in the food isn’t a big deal. Your wife doesn’t need to wear a hair net like some line cook.
Doun2Others10 said:
YTA—kinda. A hairnet? Really? Really?!? You couldn’t have found a kinder way to ask her to put it in a bun or a pony tail? You went straight to lunch lady. And as hard working and utterly fabulous as they are (and they are! Underpaid, too!!), the hairnet is not their most attractive attribute.
Are you going to ask your wife to make sure she changes her gloves between taking cash at the register and handling food, too? And make sure the sanitizer solution is at the right ratio as well? It’s not a restaurant, it’s her HOME. For goodness sake. Have some tact.
lilmissspetite said:
NTA. It’s understandable that you want hair-free meals, but asking her to wear a hairnet might feel extreme to her; maybe suggest tying her hair back or using a cooking cap as a middle ground.
Leviosahhh said:
YTA. A hair net? Are you serious? Do you pay her to make your meals? That was dramatic and humiliating. You could simply ask her to put her hair up or wear a hat, but a hair net?
What other ways do you treat her like she’s “the help” instead of your wife? How much of the cooking do you do and how much are you going to pay your wife to be your glorified lunch lady? Get real, buddy. Next time you have a reasonable request try asking it in a reasonable way.
Janisseho said:
NTA. I too have long hair and I tie it up when I’m cooking, no big deal. Ask your wife if she likes her food with hair in it.
alv269 said:
NTA but maybe just tying it back in a ponytail would be a good compromise. That's what I do and it works pretty well. Nobody likes finding hair in their food.