'AITA for asking my neighbor to wait for her laundry at her house?' + UPDATE
"AITA for asking my neighbor to wait for her laundry at her house?"
Yesterday after I picked my son up from school my neighbor flagged me down in the driveway to ask me if she could use my laundry machine because hers was broken. I said sure, because she's my neighbor.
While she was in her house gathering her laundry I made grilled cheeses for myself and my son. When she came over I showed her where the machine was. After loading the machine she came into the kitchen.
My neighbor asked if she could have a grilled cheese. I might just be a jerk, but I thought that was a ridiculous thing to ask. I told her I only made two. She asked why I did that since I knew she was coming over??? Because she was coming over for laundry, not grilled cheese...
My son offered her half of his. I always put an egg in my grilled cheese sandwiches. She bit into it and was grossed out by the egg (which she should have seen before she bit into it).
She then asked where my trash can was. My son said "don't waste food!" So she just HANDED THE SANDWICH BACK TO HIM. I told him to switch halves with me and then binned the sandwich half when he wasn't looking.
She asked to use my bathroom, which I of course agreed to. She came back to the kitchen after and asked if I had any refreshments. I said no and suggested that she wait for her clothes to finish at home. She asked if I was trying to get rid of her. I said we needed to get started on homework. She said she didn't mind. I said we needed to keep distraction to a minimum.
She said "well, I know when I'm not wanted," and left. When she came back to switch her clothes to the drier, she was very irritated. I apologized for hurting her feelings. She said it didn't matter, but she sounded angry. Then she left. I feel bad, but I also feel annoyed, because who acts like that?
Here’s what people had to say to OP:
NTA. This is unhinged behavior on her part. You agreed to let her use your washer, not host her like a guest. Asking for your food, refreshments, hanging around your kitchen, and then getting offended when you set a boundary is wild.
You were polite, you helped her, and you even apologized. She overstepped repeatedly and then played the victim when you didn’t cater to her. Letting someone use your laundry does not mean you owe them lunch, drinks, or your time.
Or using your bathroom. That’s how prescription meds get stolen.
MostAnimal5816 (OP)
If she wants my gas-ex that much she can have it.
“She said "well, I know when I'm not wanted," and left. “
lol she really doesn’t at all. She breezed past multiple hints before finally leaving. It would certainly be the last time this weirdo enter my home. NTA.
Whoa nelly does that woman need to learn some basic manners. Clearly she didn't know when she wasn't wanted but hopefully she does now. Yeesh. I hope you explained to your kid how ill-mannered she was and to never behave like that in other people's homes.
The next day, the OP returned with an update.
I have a tiny update about my weird neighbor with the broken washing machine. She came back! I know 90% of you said to never let her back in the house, so you are probably going to judge me heavily. In my defense I was a little flustered by the whole thing.
She waved me down again when we were walking up to the house. She said to wait because she had something for me. I waited because... I guess because I'm stupid? I figured she would just knock on the door anyway if I didn't.
She came back with a pie that she said was thanks for using my washing machine. I said thank you and she didn't have to. She said "let's go inside and try a piece." I said it was almost my son's naptime. She said "great! We can eat pie while he naps!"
A lot of you said she might have been interested in me, and that was still in my head. So I said "yeah, and you should invite your husband over too." I was expecting that to deter her. Nope!
She got very excited! She said "that's a great idea! Here, you take the pie in and I'll go get him." So at that point I'm internally thinking "what the fu...." My son and I went inside. I started cutting pieces of pie because at this point I felt like a victim of fate.
She came over with her husband. I have never seen a man that looked as exasperated and embarrassed as this guy. We ate pie, and the whole time she asked me weird questions while her husband looked annoyed.
Every once in a while I would say something and she would give her husband a look. He kept pretending not to see the looks. After we finished the pie, she asked if I had coffee.
Her husband said "Honey, he wants to put his son down for a nap. Let's go home."
She said "oh he doesn't mind."
Her husband said "he minds" while he took her elbow and started leading her out the door. She kept insisting that I didn't until they were outside. I gotta say, I think I'm in love with this guy.
As weird and annoying as the whole thing was, I feel a lot better about my neighbor now. Some of the comments had some pretty crazy speculation that made me a little nervous. Now that I've met her husband I'm pretty sure she's just bored. Which is fine. It's annoying, but not creepy.
So, to all the people who were worried she was trying to seduce me or spy on me or steal from me, don't worry. Based on her husband's reactions she's just... like this.
Here’s what people had to say to OP:
Poor lady just wants a friend and doesn't understand social cues (to be fair I am referring to when OP said they want to put the kid down for a nap after which is pretty common for hey time to leave, not OP literally inviting them in)
I mean tbf OP literally suggested she invite the husband as well so despite what’s being shared here she has every reason to think OP is being friendly. Like people want to be like omg we’re all so isolated and then when the friendly neighbour says let’s have pie it’s like she must be insane 😭
I also wonder if this woman is from another culture / country? Appropriate friendliness is culturally based. It’s very normal to know and engage with your neighbours in many parts of the world.
Obv NTA but sounds like you’ve made a new buddy. He definitely goes through it on the daily judging by his actions. Hey, at least you got some pie out of it.
Okay: are you a super interesting person? I was thinking it was a your neighbor person but now I’m curious if you are just really intriguing? People are always asking My husband and I questions and I realized this after I was like why are there always freaks who try to be friends with me haha.
MostAnimal5816 (OP)
Not really. I'm divorced. I have a kid. She seemed really zeroed in on that topic. I think divorce is actually pretty common, but maybe not in her social circle. My son and I are in a minority group. Not a super interesting one or anything though.
I think that things would be better if you learned to be more honest with people. You lied when you implied her husband was welcome. You may think that he was terrific. I wonder what he thinks of how you acted. Maybe all is fine. Who knows.