'AITA for asking my parents to put my name on the house if they expect me to keep paying their mortgage?'

"AITA for asking my parents to put my name on the house if they expect me to keep paying their mortgage?"

My parents bought a house about 10 years ago but ran into some financial issues a few years back. Long story short, they were behind on their mortgage and were close to losing the house. I had just landed a pretty stable job at the time and without really thinking it through I stepped in and started helping with the payments.

At first I told myself it would just be for a few months. That turned into a year. And now, it’s been almost four years of me sending money every month to keep them afloat. I don’t live in the house. I never have. But I’ve basically been helping pay it off while renting my own place. Recently I told them I needed to start cutting back. Rent and bills have gone up and I’m trying to save to eventually buy my own place.

That’s when they asked if I could just keep helping for a little longer because they still couldn’t handle it on their own. I finally said that if I’m going to keep paying for the house, I think my name should be on it. I didn’t say I wanted to sell it or kick them out or anything just that I’d feel better having some kind of legal tie to something I’ve been financially responsible for. They got really upset.

My mom accused me of trying to steal the house and my dad said I was acting entitled. I feel bad because I do want to help them but at the same time, I’m 29 and spending hundreds a month on something I don’t even benefit from. I just want to protect myself in case something happens. AITA for asking to be added to the title of the house if they want me to keep paying for it?

The internet had a lot to say in response.

Grandma_kaos wrote:

NTA. You helped your parents out of love and generosity and honestly, there should be give and take on both sides. You have every right to ask to be on the title to the house since you are the one paying a chunk of the mortgage. You aren't asking them to move out and give you the house, you are only asking for what is fair.

Give them a firm date for your last payment to them. Point out to them both that at no time have you ever asked, nor even suggested they move out. Then go low contact with them.

Alert-Potato wrote:

"You're right. I'm not entitled to your home. Just like you're not entitled to my money. I'm going to go ahead and start making a new budget for myself, which I will start sticking to on August 1st unless by then you are initiating the process of having me added to the deed for the house I've been paying the mortgage on for four years."

"Thanks for reminding me not to be entitled to other people's things or money, and being willing to set that example for me in this way by taking over your own mortgage on a home I'm not entitled to."

BigRedJeeper wrote:

WTF? Your parents are the ones acting entitled! You need to stop sending them money. By this time you’re just an ATM. After 4 years they either need to pay their own mortgage or they need to sell the house. You should be saving money to buy your own house. That will never happen if you keep subsidizing their bad decisions.

Repulsive_Location wrote:

As a 56 year old mother, I can say with certainty that you are not being entitled. Your parents should be ashamed that they won’t/can’t acknowledge and respect the contribution you have made to their home ownership.

You don’t owe them anything, and you have been incredibly generous. If they don’t want to acknowledge what you’re contributing, I think it’s time to stop. We all own our truth, and your reality no longer aligns with theirs. You deserve recognition and respect.

GabrielaLaVela wrote:

NTA. Please draft up a ledger showing the dates and amounts you have sent in for the mortgage. Are you paying it directly to the bank? Or are you sending it to your parents for them to put towards the mortgage? At this point, you have given them notice. You can cut them off now. The only people acting entitled here are your parents.

Icky-Tree-Branch wrote:

How on earth? You ARE entitled to your money and the fruits of your labour. That’s literally how it works. That they are demanding your earnings with zero benefit to you or concept of your own wellbeing is the definition of behaving as though they are entitled to something they are not.

You need to be building your own future. If they want to include your pay in the funding of their lifestyle, you need to be 1.) on the deed and 2.) welcomed to live there as a tenant and not on a child-leash. Otherwise, you need your money.

Your parents are behaving more like crabs in a bucket.

cynical_overlord1979 wrote:

NTA.

It is really unreasonable for you to be paying off someone else’s mortgage when you haven’t been able to save to get your own place. Four years is too long.

Illustrator_Slow1614 wrote:

NTA. ‘Steal the house’? Without your money they wouldn’t have a house at all. You have put your own plans on hold so they wouldn’t have the inconvenience of homelessness, and you’ve essentially thrown your money away for four years without a contract or acknowledgement from them that this is a loan or a buy-in to their house.

You can’t get that back but you can refuse to put any more money into their property without a contract. Let them sink or swim on their own. They’ve had the house for 10 years, but for the past four years you’ve been paying the mortgage. They haven’t been able to afford to live in that house for almost half the time they’ve been in it!