"AITA for asking my roommate to move out for my boyfriend?"
So for some context I (31F) bought my house after my ex-fiancé and I broke up. It was mutual it wasn’t nasty but it still was hard. I lived with a co-worker for around 6 months after the breakup and then bought my house. Let me say my house isn’t huge. It is only really a 2.5 bedroom and 1 bath.
One of the bedrooms is a very small office. A couple months after I bought the house I had two girl friends, let’s call them (Haley and Karla) that were also going through a rough patch in their lives and I offered them to stay at my place and charge super cheap rent so they could get back on their feet.
For about 7-8 months was just us three. We have been childhood friends so everything was going great. It felt almost like college again. Then another childhood friend (32F Makayla) had a really serious breakup with her long time fiancé and it was messy.
She didn’t have anywhere to go since her relationship with her family is a disaster, so I told her she could stay at my place until she could find a place of her own. I originally planned to build a bedroom in the basement for her but I found out that it wasn’t really possible without spending a lot of money to fix up my basement.
So she slept in my bed with me because that’s really the only place I could afford to offer her. Fast forward an about a year and Haley moves out. Karla takes her room because it is bigger and Makayla moves into the small bedroom.
Makayla is one government assistance so she couldn’t afford the rent I was charging the other girls so we pretty much cut it in half. Then I meet my bf who I love and honestly I couldn’t be happier. He comes over often and has an apartment.
Whenever he does come over he usually spends the night and it’s usually a non issue until recently where Makayla is giving him snotty looks or rude comments. She has also worn towels fresh out of the shower and REALLY short shorts around the house and it makes my BF very uncomfortable.
Fast forward about 6 months after I met my BF and Karla moves out. She was moving in with her GF and was able to save a bunch of money and pay off her car. When she moved out my BF and I decided to take things a little more seriously and start moving some of his stuff In not all just some small stuff.
Makayla wasn’t happy about this and made rude comments like “if he moves in then I’m going to be really witchy.” And things similar. He started staying over almost every night and I decided that I wanted to take our relationship to the next level because I want kids and a family.
I brought this up to Makayla and I told her that I would like my BF to move in and really start taking our relationship seriously. I gave her a 7 month period of when he was going to fully be moved in and that’s when I wanted her to look for a new place. AITA for giving her an ultimatum?
Here's what people had to say to OP:
deadman-8808 said:
NTA. It’s your house. Makayla was always a temporary guest and her behavior toward your boyfriend is inappropriate and giving seven months notice is extremely generous. The boundaries got blurry because you let her live with you for too long but you’re not wrong for wanting your boyfriend to move in and asking her to find another place.
Fluid-One-780 said:
NTA. You have opened your home to your friends for years to help them out and get them back on their feet. Makayla is being incredibly rude to you and your partner and frankly 7 months to get her act together is generous. Many would give 30 days or 2 months max to get out. I'd make sure to give her a proper written notice to keep yourself safe.
wesmorgan1 said:
You've done more than anyone could reasonably expect for your friends. You get to have your life. Seven months is MORE than enough time to find a place to live. NTA.
Fit_Impression_6037 said:
NTA, unless you have a written lease agreement with Makayla. Giving her long lead time to find her new place is gracious.
Jerseygirl2468 said:
NTA you've been letting her stay for a long time, at a very low cost, as a favor to her because she's your friend. You certainly aren't obligated to provide that for her forever, and you are giving her plenty of time to make other arrangements. Considering she's being rude to your bf, she's lucky you haven't kicked her out already.
Competitive_Ninja668 said:
NTA. 7 months is a long notice.
parodytx said:
NTA. You have been more than a good friend and giving this much notice is above and beyond. If she has issues, then she is totally unjustifiably entitled in her mindset about how life works. At any rate it is her problem to fix, and she has 7 months to do it.
Separate-Parfait6426 said:
NTA - and based on her behavior, you are being over generous giving her 7 months to find a place to live. I would go one step further and let her know that if she treats him rudely, or continues to walk around half naked, you will be giving her 30 days (or whatever you can do where you live) to move out, and will use eviction papers if necessary.
You have treated her incredibly well (you shared your bed with her), and you owe her nothing. When you allow somebody to live with you well below market rate, they should realize that it is your house, and they should treat you with respect.