'AITA for asking my sister-in-law to help pay for cleaning after her kids DREW ON MY WALLS?'
"AITA for asking my sister-in-law to help pay for cleaning after her kids DREW ON MY WALLS?"
I’m 25F, my husband is 23m. We just repainted our living room after weeks of patching and sanding. You could still smell the paint. We hosted family dinner last weekend, nothing fancy, pasta and garlic bread, everyone brought something.
My sister in law Jess 32F brought her twins 5M so I set up a kids table in the den with paper washable markers, and snacks so they’d have their own area. I went to grab more drinks and my stomach dropped because living room wall had loops and zigzags all over the fresh paint…one of the twins handed me a marker cap and said oopsie. I didn’t even know what to say for a second.
I called Jess in. She kind of laughed and said boys will be boys, they’ll get bored, so I tried wiping and the color just smeared into the matte paint. Jess said they’re little once and I can repaint. That stung. I’d spent nights on that wall, the next morning I bought the fancy cleaners the paint store recommended.
The ink lifted in spots, so did the paint, We called a painter and he texted a quote for 200 to sand, prime, and redo the one wall. So I texted Jess asking if she could help cover it since I set up the drawing area and the kids wandered anyway. She said I was punishing creativity and I should have put the markers away completely.
Tom says I’m making too much of it. He feels for Jess, she’s a single mom and money is tight, and he thinks this just starts drama. My mom said Jess should at least offer something. Tom’s brother helped me clean that night without making a scene and said he’d talk to her. His mom told me to chill, kids will be kids.
I keep going back and forth. We put time and money into the space, and I tried to plan for the twins. Asking for help with the repaint feels fair to me, and then I think about Jess’s budget and I feel mean.
What really got me was the laugh and the it’s just paint comment and it made me feel silly for caring about my own house. AITA for asking my sister in law to pay part of the repainting cost?
Here's what people had to say to OP:
DgShwgrl said:
ESH. Never leave kids alone with items that will harm themselves or their surroundings. You gave them markers. That's on you. No one supervised them. They are five. You all suck. The mother is excusing the behavior as creativity. She's an ahole setting her kids up for failure instead of teaching them manners, rules and civility.
Le-Chat-Blanc said:
NTA, but I wouldn't push her to pay for it. I would just never invite them over to your home again. When they ask, if they ask, say they aren't welcome after they damaged your home. Be firm. Say you are happy to go to their house or meet in the community. Btw, I'd lose my crap if my nieces and nephews drew on my walls. Their parents would, too.
Major_Barnacle_2212 said:
NTA, but also, I’d say the kids should not be invited back unless the parents are more prepared to help supervise. I probably would have offered to repaint the wall if money was tight. She had options.
BluePopple said:
NTA. When it’s her house she can have that attitude, when it’s someone else’s house she needs to take property damage seriously… even family. This “boys will be boys” attitude needs to stop now before they learn they can get away with misbehaving and damage without punishment.
Soon those 5 year olds will be 10, then 14, then 18… her attitude to their behavior gets a lot less acceptable as they get older and the damage they can do gets a lot more serious.
At the very least, the kid(s) owe you a sincere thank you. Going forward, they shouldn’t be left unattended if she can’t be responsible for watching them. And I’d be very hesitant to invite them over again for a long time. If your husband wants to spend time with family he can talk to one of them about hosting.
Very_Stable_Princess said:
NTA, and frankly I'd ask her to not bring her kids over until she teaches them not to be destructive. Just because she doesn't care about her home and belongings doesn't mean others don't.
Independent_Drop_468 said:
NTA. Kids will be kids, but parents will be responsible for the damage that they do in the process.