'AITA for asking a woman to be quiet in the silent area of the library and ruining her presentation?'
"AITA for asking a woman to be quiet in the silent area of the library and ruining her presentation?"
I really need a reality check here because I'm freaking out and feeling really guilty; I don't know if I'm just exhausted and grumpy or I actually was horrible for this. I'm a STEM college student and I get most of my work done (when in-between classes) in the library.
I'm AuDHD, and get irritated at small noises far more than most people on a good day, but I have only gotten 5 hrs sleep and I'm feeling like crap today (unable to sleep from ptsd/anxiety, I'm responsible with time).
I ALWAYS work in the silent area of my uni's library since I'm easily distracted/irritated by noise. This is a blocked off area with multiple "No Talking," and "Silent Area" signs around, with private desks.
There are other parts of the library with large areas for group work, and another area for independent work that's typically near-silent but doesn't have rules about noise. I go there when I've had virtual meetings, and I've seen others do the same.
A woman sat a few spots away from me, and started recording a video on a presentation, I presume, for a final. She was talking louder than a general conversational tone, and it was getting under my skin to the point I couldn't concentrate on my lab.
I noticed a couple of people letting out frustrated sighs and checked with another girl if it was bothering her too, since I know I'm ultra-sensitive to noise so I didn't want to be TA who try's to micromanage people's lives and police rules that are socially acceptable to break/ignore temporarily.
I went over to the talker's table and waited until she had a paragraph break/breath, and put on my best nice/quiet voice and asked her if she could move since she was being disruptive and it was affecting my studying.
She told me, in an annoyed? tone, that she needed to finish the presentation and this is the only area quiet enough. I directed her to the aforementioned quiet-but-not-silent area, and she packed up to move and told me I ruined her presentation.
Afterwards I turned back to walk to my seat, and she yelled at me "I had 2 seconds left if you let me finish I would have been done by now!" She yelled other stuff about how I ruined her presentation and she "has to start over," but I was too caught off guard to remember it.
The part about OnLy 2 SeCoNds LeFt really pissed me off since it literally wasn't, I was listening to the speech and it wasn't towards the end; that was a straight up lie and didn't make sense to say. I didn't reply but I feel really guilty. I timed my speaking as to be easily edited out, but she sounded REALLY upset and I don't know if I was unnecessarily being an ass by ruining her presentation.
I probably could have grinned and bared the noise until she was done, then try to focus again on my lab. This happened about half an hour and I'm trying not to cry/panic and I'm worried I'm going to get in trouble over it, and I feel really guilty since I went out of my way to ruin her day so I'm probably being a bitch but I need outside input.
Here's what people had to say to OP:
Life_Less_Ordinary wrote:
NTA. If you are working on a silent area of the library that has posted signs stating this and she chose to sit in that area and talk doing a presentation, she is in the wrong. If you find yourself in a situation like that again and don't want to ask someone to move, you can inform a staff member and let them handle it.
That way you can stay out of it and not feel stressed like you are. She was being a crappy person and she ruined her own presentation by sitting in a place she wasn't supposed to be talking in. I wouldn't think about it again.
ScaryButterscotch474 wrote:
When you enforce boundaries, some people feel defensive. People who feel defensive react in different ways. One way is to show anger. You did nothing wrong. The other people were annoyed but did not say anything because they did not want to be subjected to her angry behaviour. They are glad that you stepped in. NTA.
owls_and_cardinals wrote:
I'll got NTA. Her thing about "I only had 2 seconds left" was contrived and defensive, to make it seem like your request was unreasonable. But honestly it's not your presentation so how would you know how much is left of it?
She was misusing the library facility. It's a silent zone, this is common in many libraries on college campuses, and she was blatantly misusing the facility. It's not quiet SO THAT someone can record something as if it's a sound booth or something. She was misusing the quiet space for something it is not intended for, and which undermined what it IS intended for.
As for whether you should have said something, I probably would have just left and mentioned it to the librarian/staff on my way out. But I don't think you're an AH for saying something, and having her presentation 'ruined' (boo hoo - so she'll have to re-record) is a pretty natural consequence.
ColonelBelmont wrote:
People who have been inconsiderate and selfish their whole lives often short-circuit a bit on the rare occasion they're actually corrected by someone. I see it a lot in real life, because I've always been someone who has no problem gently asking people to change what they're doing when being massively inconsiderate.
They get embarrassed, then angry that ya made them feel embarrassed, then aggressive because that's the only emotion they seem to be able to express. You're NTA. Don't give that spoiled brat another second of thought.