Atheist refuses to bow their head in silence while their friend prays in public. AITA?
"AITA for refusing to bow my head in silence while my friend says her prayers when out for dinner?"
Partner is furious at me because I refuse to bow my head down in silence for the ~10-15 seconds when a friend wants to say her prayers before dinner. I'm atheist. Her friend (F) is Christian. We're all going out to a restaurant.
Apparently before her friend eats, she silently bows her head down and says a prayer. Partner is expecting me to not eat, stay quiet, bow my head down, and wait until her friend finishes her prayers.
I'm trying to tell her that I fully respect if her friend wants to believe what she wants to, and she's welcome to do what she wants to. However, not going to join in, sitting there in silence while her friend does her prayers.
She says I'm being disrespectful. I'm trying to say that her friend interrupting the whole table when food is ready, just so she prays, while expecting us all to join in with the silence, is disrespectful.
She is welcome to pray, but don't take offense if we choose not to join. The table has many different faiths - and lack of. Respect should go both ways. Besides, there's nothing stopping her from just saying what she wants to say in her head without the interruptions.
Fair enough if this were a "your house your rules" kind of situation, but we're out in a public restaurant...And that aside, respect should go both ways. So, AITA and being arrogant/selfish? Or is this being blown way out of proportion?
Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:
-Elhanan- said:
Depends. NTA if you don't want to bow your head to "participate." YTA if you can't wait 15 secs to start eating.
SadieRoseMom said:
NTA. It's a public place. Even if the friend said something to you, you don't need to participate in their little prayer demonstration. They are trying to impose their religion on everyone else. And, like others say, the bible says to pray in private.
andhakaran said:
YTA. Being an atheist myself, I'd definitely keep my mouth shut for 10 seconds if someone wants to pray in silence. Just like I would not want someone to interrupt my peace with loud recitals of some religious verse, I would not want to interrupt someone's few seconds of prayer with my chit chat or munching.
It's about mutual respect. He or she is not asking you to join in. Don't bow your head. But not eating and talking for those 10-15 seconds is the decent thing to do. If you expect them to respect your lack of faith, you should start by respecting their faith.
Damsel_Quinn said:
NTA. You don't have to participate in someone else's religion.
Queenspence2 said:
NTA I think out of the principal of it you really shouldn’t have to, would it hurt to stay quiet for 10-15 seconds? No but I think religious people are delusional and I wouldn’t be participating.
ImmediateDivide1400 said:
NTA- you aren’t being disrespectful. I’m saying that as a Christian woman myself. I would NEVER expect everyone to stop what they are doing, close their eyes, or bow their head in return. I pray silently and make it a short prayer as a gesture of gratitude to my Lord above. I don’t even close my eyes.
It’s just a short moment between me and God that involves no one else. To expect others who do not share my faith to stop everything and bow their head is wild and entitled behavior. As long as no one is being openly disrespectful about my beliefs or the fact that I’m praying for a few seconds- what they are doing while I’m having that moment is none of my business.