'AITA if I refuse to go to the baby shower of a woman who I don't believe is really pregnant?'

"WIBTA if I didn't go to a baby shower because I don't believe the mom is pregnant?"

I don't even know where to start. For context, I live in a trailer with my boyfriend on his parents property. My in laws and my boyfriends 2 brothers also live on the same property in 3 separate trailers (4 trailers total). So, while we aren't in the same building, we do all live on the same property and share a yard.

Two summers ago, my boyfriends brother (I'll call him Patrick) told his parents his girlfriend (Courtney) was moving onto the property. No one knew he had a girlfriend, because they had only been dating for a week when she said she didn't have a place to stay and he invited her to stay with us.

We were all immediately a little weirded out but this, but my in laws are very caring people and they had no problem letting her stay. After she'd lived here for a month, I decided id get to know her. After speaking to her once, she immediately started spreading rumors that I was pregnant and tried to start drama with me. Around that time she started hoarding dogs.

She would get a dog, keep it for a while, and then get rid of it for another dog. All of her dogs have been skinny enough their ribs are visible, and everyone who lives here has seen her beat her dogs.

She has 2 that are chained outside at all times, and I know she has one dog put down because he was food aggressive. That's when animal control was called but nothing came of it. Shes generally rude, dishonest, and uncaring. No one that lives here likes her, but out of respect for Patrick we've been quiet about our distain for her.

After dating maybe 2-3 months, she announced she was pregnant, and that her and Patrick were getting married in the Spring We all thought this was fast, and Patrick admitted they were only getting married because of the baby. After a while, there were no baby updates and no ultrasound pictures.

My in laws were suspicious from the start so they eventually asked her to take a pregnancy test. It wasn't until they asked for a test to confirm she was pregnant that she told them she had lost the baby. After that, the wedding was cancelled but they continued to stay together and she still lives with us.

On Thanksgiving she brought a cake announcing that she's 5 months pregnant with a baby girl. Again, no ultrasound photos, no positive test. Shes not visibly pregnant though she is overweight so it might make it harder to see. Personally, I don't think she's pregnant. If she is, I'm honestly worried about the well being of the baby with how she treats her dogs. Im not going to lie and say I don't strongly dislike her.

Still, we have been invited to the baby shower. My boyfriend says it'll cause more drama than it's worth if we don't go. I don't even want to buy anything for the baby until it's here. Would I be the a$$hole if I didn't go? If I do go, do I bring a gift? Baby shower is January and baby is due in April.

What do you think? AITA? This is what top commenters had to say (and they had a lot of questions):

Mentalcomposer said:

Has anyone asked Patrick about the baby? Has he gone to any doctor appointments, seen an ultrasound, anything? It’s been a while since I had my last but she should have had an ultrasound by 5 months? And who doesn’t get the picture? Patrick doesn’t sound too smart.

mangos247 said:

I wouldn’t go. Aside from whether or not she’s pregnant, it doesn’t sound like she’s a very kind human in general. I’d keep your distance.

OP responded:

I wouldn't even talk to her if she wasn't so physically close

Fantastic_Student_71 said:

After reading this, from what she has done to neglect those “ skinny” dogs is more concerning than whether or not you attend a baby shower. Leaving a dog tied to a tether is no way to treat any animal. Dogs are social beings and they want and need not just water and food, they need love, veterinary care and things that this woman can’t give them.

The dog that she had euthanized due to being “ food aggressive “ is probably because that dog was very hungry due to neglect. Since animal control did nothing, you can call a rescue organization in your town and explain this situation to them . These dogs are suffering at her place, and this is serious.

As far as the baby and baby shower, unsure about that . She sounds like a liar, but I don’t know. Please get help for those sweet dogs. Living on a chain is no kind of life.

tcrhs said:

Patrick should act like he is really excited about her next prenatal visit, wants to hear the baby’s heartbeat and see baby’s sweet little face on the sonogram. And, they need to know the gender for the baby registry. That is a quick and easy way to expose whether or not she is lying.

OP responded:

She claims it's a girl and has a registry on Facebook. Patrick doesn't seem interested in getting involved as a father and we can't really force him to.

Unfair_Programmer906 said:

In my opinion, that girl is not pregnant. As a pregnant mom with my first baby who is actually due in April I have been gladly showing my in laws, family members, and friends my ultrasound pictures. And if she is pregnant I wouldn’t be surprised if she hasn’t gone to her prenatal appointments based off what you said about her abuse and neglect toward her dogs.

If I were you I’d go to her baby shower (if she doesn’t cancel it) and I’d bring some wipes and diapers. That’s it. Nothing else. Say congrats and move on.

Here is some more info. in the comments:

She doesn't have a job and can't hold one down, so no maternity leave. She actually has expressed concern about how 2 of her 3 dogs will treat the baby and has tried to re-home them, but she rehomes another animal every week so no one will take them.

Honestly now that I'm thinking about it, she's kinda sh!tty to Patrick when they're both around. She playfully talks about how their dog gets mad when she hits him, orders him around like a servant, and is disrespectful.

I don't even know how to describe her family situation. She's the kind of person who makes long Facebook rants about how her family hates her and how she wants nothing to do with them, yet she's always talking about drama involving them.

Stay tuned for any future updates!