'AITA for banning my family friend and her son from coming over again until she replaces what her son broke?'
"AITA for banning my family friend and her son from coming over again until she replaces what her son broke?"
Last year I finally got the final addition to a collection I started and it’s in a display cabinet that can only be opened with a key I have stored somewhere and my family friends seven year old son walked into the room where the cabinet is and politely I told him do not touch.
Twice I caught him touching it and I told him to stop and all he did was smile, his mother didn’t do anything to stop him. I politely told her to tell her son to stop and all she said is, “Isn’t it locked? He won’t get into it! Stop being paranoid!”
The third time he grabs a chair and he has a metal fork which he tries poking the lock with and I caught him which startles him and the chair fell forward breaking some of the glass of the display cabinet but luckily nothing was damaged.
His father marched over having been there when I gave the second warning and takes his son in the other room. I inspect the lock and it wasn’t damaged either. The father and son return with the kid confessing his older brother told him to use fork to pick the lock so now two kids are in trouble.
edit: I look at my family friend saying she has to pay for repairs and she says, “You shouldn’t have such cool collectibles to entice him!” I told her, “I want you out of my house until you pay for the damage your son did.”
She says she has nothing to pay for then leaves with her husband and four kids. I had a someone I know who is good at repairing aka replacing display cabinet glasses since help replace the damage but am I the jerk for banning them because the family friend refused to pay to repair the damage their kid caused?
Update: Someone had asked what do I collect, my collection is of Geeki Tikis which are tiki glasses that are made to look like characters from movies and tv shows, last year my most recent addition was the Star Wars Landspeeder one that has a mini Luke and R2-D2.
The update wise, the friend I mentioned she called to say she found out today that her husband had helped reimburse the payment I paid for the repairs. She asked since her husband helped pay the reimbursement can she and her sons come back over again.
I asked if her sons are ready to apologize for both manipulating the other and for not listening to me as well is she ready to apologize for not telling her son to stop going back and forth to the room where the tiki display cabinet is.
She told me she and her sons have nothing to apologize for and I told her then they are still banned from returning to my house until they give a formal apology, her husband and daughters who are very well behaved can still come over then I hung up on her.
Update Two: If any were curious both the sons got grounded by losing their allowances which covered the reimbursement I got so they lost a few months allowance to cover the reimbursement and in addition both ended up losing screen time on their favorite gaming devices.
Here’s what people had to say to OP:
Pay for the repair, send them the bill with a warning you will take it to small claims if they don't reimburse, then lose the friend. People like this will never discipline their unruly kids, will never teach them consequences and they will never accept they did anything wrong. They aren't worth burdening your life with.
One. They are not good friends. Two. Take them to small claims court. Three. Go no contact afterwards.
NTA. You gave clear warnings multiple times, and the kid escalated to grabbing tools and furniture while the mom brushed it off. That’s negligent parenting, full stop. Damage caused by her child is her responsibility.
"Of course you are totally in the wrong for displaying cool stuff in your own home. Naturally that would cause kids to try to get at it. This is your fault!" That's her point of view.
I suppose that, as the kid gets older and decides to get at and take things he likes, she is going to blame the school, the store, and friend's homes for the kid's stealing and shoplifting. Never once thinking that she should tell her son that its wrong to not follow rules, ir wrong to take what belongs to others.
Seems like the child's father may have his act together. He may very well pay the repair. Send the request to Him, not his wife.
You dont need them as friends. It was the perfect opportunity for the parents to teach the children about responsibility. Instead, she tried to make out it was your fault for having nice things. Block them. They'll never change.
NTA. What stands out most is that the kid had enough time and confidence to escalate from touching to actively trying to break into the cabinet, which only happens when a parent isn’t supervising or taking warnings seriously.
The mother dismissing your concern and then shifting blame onto you shows she had no intention of taking responsibility even after the damage occurred. You didn’t ban them over a mistake you banned them because she refused to acknowledge or fix the consequences.
Letting them return without accountability would just signal that your boundaries don’t matter. Protecting your home and expecting basic respect doesn’t make you the jerk.
No, you're not a jerk. In fact, you're being too nice. The "friend" has no respect for you. She also has questionable parenting skills. Her son should have listened, if not then she needed to step in.
She can't blame you for what you decide to collect in your home. What you need to do is ban the kids and the wife from coming over all together until she learns that her kids should respect others and their property.
NTA. You made it very clear to both her and her son that touching your collection was off-limits, yet they ignored your warnings and created a situation that could have caused serious damage or injury. Her dismissive attitude blaming your collectibles for enticing her child shows a lack of accountability and respect.
Asking her to pay for repairs is completely reasonable parents are responsible for the actions of their children. By banning them until she takes responsibility, you’re setting a boundary that protects both your property and your peace of mind.
Allowing them to come over without consequences would only teach her son that rules don’t apply and that your generosity can be taken for granted. You acted calmly, fairly, and responsibly, and anyone criticizing you here is overlooking the risk and repeated disregard for your clear instructions.