'AITA for banning my friend's GF from my home over her obsession with Taylor Swift?'
"AITA for banning my friend's girlfriend from my home for her unhealthy obsession with Taylor Swift?"
I (34f) have decided to ban my friends (34m) girlfriend (30f) from my home and any future get togethers all because of Taylor Swift and Im wondering if this is a case of AIO and i should just "be the bigger person" or if I'm justified in my stance.
Its a long story but ill summarize: My friend introduced us to his girlfriend a few years ago. We have always been pleasant to eachother. Shes always been welcome in our home and to ground get togethers. Our friends have always gone out of their way to make her feel welcome and included. Ive always said hi and attempted to make conversation. She only shows up once in a while and now its all coming to a head.
To say she is a die hard Swiftie is an understatement and she knows that im not a T swift fan. She has made comments before along the lines of "I think it says a lot about a person when they don't like Taylor Swift" or "if you dont like Taylor swift you are sexist."
She has all the merch and albums and has paid to see several stops on her tour. She even has a swift tattoo. Ive never said anything negative around her about it and would never dislike someone for having different opinions on music.
Recently, With the new Taylor Swift album coming out- I made a silly post to Instagram. This post was a "game" I called Taylor Swift lyrics or Veggie tales quotes. It was all in good fun and wasnt directed at anyone. Was it necessary? No. I recognize that but it was just a joke. I just dont see the big deal and why some call her the great "lyricist of our generation."
Well my friends girlfriend saw this post and started a huge fight with him. She said that my post was directly making fun of her. She unfollowed me and made a huge deal about it to the point they almost broke up because my friend told her it had nothing to do with her.
We were recently at a wedding where she was his plus 1 and she made no effort to say hi or acknowledge my presence. When I wasn't around she was chatting it up with all of my friends. After the wedding my friend came up to our hotel room for some drinks and she came with him.
She still didnt acknowledge me or say anything. I also didnt say hi to her because at this point I am over the petty weird high school bs.
Fast forward to a week later. It was my birthday and we had a party at our home. She wasnt invited to this- because why would i want someone who dislikes me at my birthday party? But she was never explicitly not invited- i was under the assumption that she rarely showed up before so why would she now?
She proceeded to come to the party with my friend. She didn't make any attempt to say hi to me or even wish me a happy birthday. To me it felt like a weird play to assert some type of dominance. I ignored her presence and enjoyed my party. My friend later told me after she left that she knows that i am aware of her unfollowing me and thinking I posted making fun of her.
Afterwards, it started to piss me off. Im not sure why anyone would want to go to someone's home for their birthday (especially if they dont like them)then ignore them and not even wish them a happy birthday?
I told my friend she is no longer welcome in my home and I will no longer be making any effort to be nice or acknowledge her in social settings. I have thought about confronting her but my friend says shes stubborn and thinks she did nothing wrong and it wouldn't be productive.
The whole thing is weird and I dont want to be around someone like that. Some of my friends think im being "catty" or overreacting and i should just let it go. But in my mind- she started this imaginary issue and I shouldn't have to accommodate someone so insecure because of a parasocial relationship. So AITA?
This is what people had to say to OP:
New_Cheesecake9719 said:
Oh- I would totally say something. The reason is the coming to your house on your birthday and ignoring you. A short and simple - hey- so the post wasn’t about you. I’m sorry you think the world revolves around Taylor swift and yourself but it doesn’t. It was a joke.
What’s not a joke is you coming into MY home on MY birthday and ignoring and disrespecting me. Due to that childish and petty behavior you are no longer allowed in my home nor do I want to have any connection with you. Grow up. Best of luck. (Maybe insert some lyrics)
CrystalBabyBlue97 said:
Tbh you didn’t have to explain further than not wanting someone who doesn’t like you in your home. She is crazy though also lmao.
ClosetYandere said:
I want to play this Taylor Swift/Veggie Tales game.
seniairam said:
it wasnt directed at anyone but you know shes a fan and shes a friend of yours so she was bound to see it. I really dont believe that you posted that just to post, but whatver. both of you are acting like kids. ESH.
OP responded:
To clarify are not friends- she is my friends girlfriend. We're acquaintances. That is also why I said I recognize it wasnt necessary and I prefaced the post with this is just a joke dont get mad...I have other friends who like Swift and thought it was funny.
PerfectCover1414 said:
Just ask her "would Taylor Swift behave like a rude AH at someone else's house and party?" The reality may well be that she would BUT this fanatic thinks the sun shines out of her backside, so she will have to stop and ponder for a moment.