'AITA for not letting my husband into the delivery room?' UPDATED

"AITA for not letting my husband into the delivery room?"

My husband and I planned on having 3 kids, but that was more difficult than we thought. Our miracle daughter is 4, and we wanted to try and give her a little brother or sister. Well, we’re having more than 3 kids. There’s gonna be 4 of them, as I’m pregnant with triplets! My husband and I were ecstatic about this!

Right now I’m 6 months along, so we thought we’d do a zoom meeting with our family to announce their gender (we also surprised them by telling them it’s triplets!) Baby A was a girl, and my husband and I were both super excited. Baby B was also a girl, and we were still beaming about it. Baby C is another girl, and we were both really excited about it.

Until the meeting ended. As soon as it ended, he went off to his office to sulk. I wasn’t sure why, so I asked him what was wrong. He said, “I just wish you’d given me one boy, so I could do stuff with him.” I told him “You can do stuff with your daughters, too.” He replied, “No, the girls will only want to play dress-up. I wish you gave me one boy instead of three girls.”

I was furious. He’d rather give up our three girls for one boy, even with him knowing how difficult it was for us to have any children at all. I yelled at him and told him he didn’t deserve a boy if it meant he’d ignore his girls. Well, he texted his mother about our fight, and she was mad at him. She texted me to tell me that four girls were lovely, and she’s ashamed of how her son acted.

Yesterday, I was on the phone with my mom, and she brought up how excited she was for the triplets to arrive, and she asked if I wanted her in the room when I was giving birth, or if I wanted her to stay in the waiting room. I told her she’s the only person I want in the room with me.

My husband was extremely hurt by this, and asked why. I told him that if he can’t appreciate his daughters, he has no right to be there when they’re born. He did not take that well. He started apologizing, crying, telling me he was wrong, but they were his daughters too and he wanted to be there. I’m not changing my stance on this one, he will not be in the delivery room.

He thinks I’m being unreasonable because I’m not letting him see his daughters being born. I think it’s my choice who’s in that room, and I don’t want him in there after he said he’d trade our girls for a son. AITA?

Later OP came back with these edits and updates:

EDIT: He was angered by any mention of the baby for a week, it wasn’t a one-time thing.

EDIT 2/ UPDATE: Someone in the comments said that my husband also wrote a post. So, I read it, and found multiple untrue things. Firstly, I’ve miscarried once, not three times. It was the hardest thing on both of us, and I’m sure he would never get that wrong, because it was devastating to lose our baby.

Secondly, although he wants a boy to do “boy things” with, he hates fishing. He likes camping, WITH MY DAUGHTER. Nonetheless, I asked him about it. Surprise surprise, He had no idea what I was talking about, so I showed him the post.

He didn’t write it. I’d like to assure everyone that I also didn’t write it. One post was enough, and I’m not sure what he was thinking. We’re trying to figure out who u/budgetyogurtcloset1 is, because I’m horrified someone would pretend to be my husband, especially when they didn’t know what was going on in his life.

On another note, he broke down crying, and I could tell it was real this time. He apologized and said it was not right of him to blame me for their gender (By the way, MIL cleared it up for him, and explained that I did not, in fact, choose the gender. Neither did he, although his body produced either the X or Y chromosome, he did not get to decide which one my body used.)

He said that, although it would be nice to have a boy, he loves our current daughter more than anything else, and he’s going to do the same once our triplets are born. I apologized for my threat to keep him out of the room, because that would only keep him farther from our daughters. It was also inconsiderate of me to post this on reddit instead of talking to him, because we’re both stressed right now.

I asked him if he would consider counseling for this, and he said he would absolutely do it if I thought he needed to. I’ve been on bed rest for a couple days, and my daughter came up to watch a movie. He walked in on us watching Star Wars, and I think that moment showed him that his daughters can like the things he likes, too.

We’re both extremely excited and on board right now! Thank you all (except for the sh%$#poster who wrote the other side to this story.) I asked him if I could write an update with the names we’ve agreed on so far, and he said that’s a great idea.

Baby A: Charlotte Amelia [LastName] Baby B: Tomi ??? [LastName] Baby C: Undecided as of now, but we’re figuring it out!

Back to the other side of this story, my husband was HORRIFIED by what was said in that. He was literally shaking when he read what they wrote. If you’re out there reading this update, I hope you’re proud that you’re trying to ruin a marriage. I hope you’re proud that you wrote such a ridiculous story about my husband hating women. He wanted a boy, and didn’t get one. He was upset, but guess what?

He got over that! I’m disappointed in whoever wrote that story. The story was so ridiculously untrue from our perspectives, as a lot of the details were fake. How can a person possibly write a fake story like that about a person they don’t even know? I’m incredibly mad at this right now, and my husband is scared. I’m incredibly disappointed in this community right now.

As of now, I want my husband to be there for their birth. I know he’ll be supportive of me during the C-section, and I want him there. (Our daughter was born without a C-section, so I’m really worried about a C-section. I’m not comfortable with the idea of someone cutting me open, especially after my mom said she felt the entire procedure.) I’m really nervous, and glad my husband will be there with me.

I know some of you said to hold my ground, but I don’t think it’d be fair to my husband after he gave a sincere apology. Many people said I should let him into the room, which is what I’m going to do. As of now, it’s going to be my husband, my mom, and my MIL. I trust these three people to be supportive of me and our babies.

Thank you for all your comments, they influenced the choices I made, and I’m eternally grateful this all got resolved.

Edit 3: I know this is really close to the last edit, so I’ll make it quick. It was my brother who wrote the post.

I talked to him in a moment of anger, right after what my husband said. I told him I was going to make a Reddit post about this, and he apparently made one too.

How the lies came to be: My husband goes fishing with my brother, because it’s something my brother likes. My husband also goes camping with him, but doesn’t take our daughter with because she’s 4, and they’re going to be taking some long hikes.

I told him we were going through with IVF two other times, and there was never a baby from it, so he “assumed” we miscarried before we announced the pregnancy.

My entire family is furious with my brother, including me. He told me he was trying to make the internet agree with me, but I’ve decided I’m cutting contact with him. I know it’s an impulse choice, but I don’t think he can apologize enough for what he said about my husband.

I’m way too angry right now, so I’m gonna take a nap and see how I feel after. However, my decision with my brother is absolutely final. He hurt me, my husband, and our children. As far as I’m concerned, I don’t have a brother anymore.

I know, an impulsive decision is what made me a jerk in the first place, but I’m willing to be a jerk again to that man after what he did to my family.