'AITA for banning my mom from my wedding and her grandchild if she doesn't cut off my ex-GF?'

"AITA for threatening to ban my mother from my wedding and meeting her grandchild if she doesn't cut off my ex-girlfriend?"

I 28M am marrying my current Fiancée Maddy, 24F this November and we're expecting our first son in February. Prior to my current partner, I dated my ex-girlfriend Adriana 29F for 5 years.

Things did not end well with my last relationship. She was upset that I was taking too long to marry her and upset that I wanted to make a career change when it turned out I hated my career that I was starting in human resources.

Two and a half years ago, she broke up with me despite me telling her that I was close to getting ready to propose to her, I just wanted to finish my school for my new career in healthcare and then I would be ready. It tore me up for long time, especially since over the time we were together she got very close to my family, particularly my mom.

That meant I couldn't even get away from her at some family events. Two years ago I met Maddy at a work function and we hit it off immediately. We moved in within six months of knowing each other, I had proposed by a year since I had achieved the career track I wanted, and a couple of months ago we found out she was pregnant.

I couldn't be happier with how things have turned out for me recently. Adriana, learning about how fast things went with Maddy, went ballistic. She called me and said I was a piece of sh#$t who used her and led her on, and said many vile things to me

She started saying awful things about me to any mutuals who could listen, and even started leaving negative reviews at the hospital I work at naming me by name. Those eventually got taken down, but it was incredibly embarrassing. I spoke with a lawyer to see what my options were, but he said I didn't have many options for relief.

Last week, after having dealt with this for a while, I ran into her at my mom's birthday party. At that party, she happened to "accidentally" spill a drink on my fiancée, and during a speech about my mother, she sniped at me saying "I love this wonderful woman, and am glad she gave birth to 3 wonderful children" while glaring at me (My mom had 4 kids).

When she was leaving, she also "accidentally" dinged my car with her driver side door. After she left, I sat down with my mother and said that my ex was making my life harder for no reason, listed the things I mentioned above and asked her to not invite her to events anymore.

She pushed back saying that Adriana was a decent friend to her and she likes Adriana's mother a lot so it would be difficult for her to cut her off. I said that I understand that, but I am asking as her son to support me when somebody is mistreating me.

She said we'd talk about it further. Yesterday, I found out that Adriana was coming to my youngest brother's track tournament. I called my mom and asked her to uninvite Adriana. She said she couldn't. I said "Let me make this more clear for you then.

If you are saying yes to her, you are saying no to me. If you decide to support her in this, you can consider yourself uninvited to my wedding, and not a part of the family I am building. You can also say goodbye to meeting your first grandchild." She called me mean and cold, I said I am about this. The fallout from this has been more than I was expecting.

Adriana went nuts when my mom cut her off, and I got a bunch of mutuals saying I was a massive a#$ for destroying the relationship between my mom and Adriana. My mom is pretty upset with me, but I know she'll eventually come around. My fiancée is happy that I am standing up for her and us. My question is: Did I go too far? AITA for threatening to cut off my mom if she didn't cut off Adriana?

The internet had a lot to say in response.

theworldisonfire8377 wrote:

NTA, and it wouldn't surprise me if 1) Adriana thought she still had a chance of getting back with you and 2) if your mother was feeding her information and encouraging it.

I feel badly for your wife, having to put up with so much disrespect from Adriana and your mother. I cannot imagine going to my partners family events and having to deal with his ex being there all the time, crapping all over your new relationship. Your wife has some class, unlike Adriana and your mother.

Negative-Cat7268 wrote:

NTA. Adriana is a WITCH. You were what-21-22 when you started dating her?? If she had loved you, then she would have understood and respected you wanting to kick start your career before making any decisions about engagement.

Her treatment of you and Maddy are disgusting, too. She's sick with envy and acting like she's twelve. Your mom needs to grow a pair of gonads and stick up for her son. You are absolutely NOT in the wrong here. Who's to say she can ever be trusted in the same general region as your son?

BeginningAd9070 wrote:

No.Your mother's TA because she knew what that clown was doing, and she let it go on because SHE is not over the fact that you're not still with Adriana. She was willing to let her hurt you and your fiancee because she's too childish to grasp that your adult relationships aren't about her and aren't meant to sort HER needs.

You're going to need to make it clear to your mother that her behavior is wrong, and that you meant what you said. There is no coming back from choosing some person off the street who mistreats your son and the woman he is actually marrying.

Soft_pulse_4650 wrote:

Dude, NTA. Who your mom chills with is her biz, but when it starts messing with your life, lines gotta be drawn. Adriana sounds like she's running the psycho ex playbook, page by page. Mom's gotta choose. It ain't about destroying a relationship man, it's about protecting your fam. She'll come round. Good on ya for standing up for your lady and your kiddo. Keep that sh*t up, bro. 👊🔥