'AITA for beating my friends in a competition that we begged them not to join?'

"AITA for beating my friends in a competition that we begged them not to join?"

So I want to start by saying my boyfriend (28M) and I (26F) are very competitive. We discovered this during a company relay race years ago and have since competed in all kinds of events like paintball, laser tag, triathlons, etc. Most of our friends know how intense we can get, so they usually sit out unless it’s for fun.

Recently, we invited our friends to a paintball tournament. Not to compete but to hang out. These events often have a little bar area or food stall where people can watch from an elevated platform (kinda like Hunger Games). One of our friends and her boyfriend decided they wanted to compete too, even though they’d never played paintball before.

We warned them it wasn’t for beginners and that most people take it seriously since there’s a cash prize for the top 3 teams. After like a week, we eventually told them straight up that we didn’t think they should compete. They got annoyed and said they were adults and could make their own choices, so we backed off.

Come tournament day, they were the only beginners and got wrecked in the two practice rounds. Then they ended up against us in the first official match (random by the way). We didn’t go easy on them, and the match ended in under 4 minutes. We made it to the final round but ended up losing to a team wearing predator masks…yeah we didn’t stand a chance.

Afterward, we went to the bar area, but noticed our friends we were competing with weren’t there. Someone told us they had left. Which we understood, sometimes after losing you don’t wanna hang out. We enjoyed the rest of the day and went home.

Later that evening, they called us upset saying we should’ve gone easier on them because we’re friends and should’ve at least let them get a shot in. I reminded them we’d warned them and that we treated them like we would any other team. Safe to say the call didn’t end well.

The next day, she posted on Facebook saying we “tried too hard to beat them only to not win in the end,” making us seem like bad friends who were trying to embarrass them. Now some friends and family are piling on, saying we were selfish.

Others who were at the event say our friends are overreacting. I didn’t think we did anything wrong, but now with all these other people in my ear I’m second guessing myself. So, AITA?

Later, OP edited the post to provide more context:

1) We invited more friends than just the ones that competed. Three of our friends came to watch. It wasn’t mandatory. Thy could have said no.

2) We did not invite our friends because we think we’re the best. We are D4. Definitely not a beginner, but nowhere near a pro.

3) We didn’t have a problem with our friends wanting to join the competition. We were just worried because this wasn’t a beginner tournament. Everyone competing was either gonna be D4 or D3. We were already pushing our luck trying to compete against D3.

4) We aren’t competitive in every game, just competitions and games with winning prizes

5) A lot of my friends are part of tennis groups and bowling leagues and other paintball teams and they invited us to watch them all the time. I didn’t think it would be such a big deal to ask them to hang out and watch us.

Here's what people had to say to OP:

Solo-mance said:

We were warned. Repeatedly. And now we are butthurt. NTA. Your friends are children.

lord_buff74 said:

NTA, for beating them, but seriously you sound exhausting to be friends with. "most of our friends know how intense we can get, so they usually sit out unless it’s for fun," even your friends don't want to spend time with you because you can't regulate yourselves.

ziptagg said:

NTA, you made it clear this is a serious competition with a cash prize, not a fun game between friends. You didn’t treat them differently from any other team on the field, they’re just mad they’re not somehow magically good at this.

Aesperacchius said:

NTA, you warned them, and they didn't listen. Competitive paintball's nuts, which they would've learned if they had bothered to look up any paintball tournament videos.

Shy_MascDyke_subs said:

NTA. Cash prize? Why would you go easy on them. You warned them lol that’s on them.

Caberfeidh83 said:

NTA. You warned them multiple times and they didn't listen. They would have been creamed against anyone else so why should you treat them differently? The pros would have clocked you were and likely called favoritism or something, marking you out in the tournament to your peers.

Meanwhile any team would have clocked them as amateurs and then might have played with their food. You gave them a quick elimination. You went on to be runners up. CONGRATULATIONS.