'AITA because I'm not giving baby stuff to a pregnant coworker?' 'She won't change my mind.'
"AITA because I'm not giving baby stuff to a pregnant coworker?"
I (20F) recently had a beautiful baby girl. I just returned to work after taking two months of maternity leave and found out one of my coworkers (18F) found out she was pregnant a few weeks ago. I congratulated her and then she asked me if I would give her all the baby stuff we'll have stopped using by the time her baby is born. I told her no and she absolutely freaked out on me.
One of the points she made is how it's super unfair because most of our coworkers are past the point of having kids/grandkids and gave husband and I a lot of their old baby stuff and now there's nothing left for her so I should share.
I told her that's not how it works and most of these people consider husband and I family, because Mil has worked with them for 5+ years, and we've been working here for a long while as well, compared to her three months (and from what I've heard, she doesn't come in half the time nor does she actually interact with anyone).
I also explained that we're planning on having at least one more kid, maybe two, so we want to keep everything we can and keep it in storage until it's needed later vs. buying it all brand new. She said that she needs them now and that's more important than a hypothetical kid we might have. I took offense to that and told her that I said no, she won't change my mind, and walked away.
Since that conversation, I've had several people approach me telling me she's been bad mouthing me to others and even saying I'm hoping she loses her baby. Luckily everyone knows me and knows I would never even think something like that, but it's starting to make me feel guilty.
I do know how expensive baby stuff is and I did get lucky having so many people to help. So, give it to me straight, am I in the wrong here?
EDIT:
We do not have an HR and when I brought it up to our supervisor I was told to just ignore it and that as long as I don't let it mess with my work I'm in the clear. They did say they noted the incident but I doubt she'll see any repercussions.
Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:
MidnightPositive485 said:
NTA. I loaned a few larger items to a coworker between my two kids because she claimed she really needed them and would give them back. She quit, disappeared with my stuff and blocked me when I tried to get it back. I had to rebuy everything for my second and it cost me a bunch of money I didn’t really have. Don’t give in.
Dull_Weakness1658 said:
NTA. Maybe inform HR so you cannot be accused of creating a hostile work environment. The coworker sounds a bit nutty, so it is impossible to know what she is capable of.
Prize-Bumblebee-2192 said:
NTA. The audacity and entitlement are astounding. You bought the stuff for your babie(s). Her demanding you give her items that you’ll use in the future is outrageous. And talking about you for this "egregious offense?" I’m embarrassed for her.
Hefty-Equivalent6581 said:
NTA. She probably can’t afford anything and thinks it’s ok to demand this stuff, she’s very young and immature and isn’t even taking her brand new job seriously. She should not be having a kid. Tell her to knock it off and tell HR she is causing a problem at work and they need to address it with her, not note the file.
Fredredphooey said:
NTA. It's illegal to create a hostile work environment and telling nasty lies about you qualifies. Tell your coworker that lying and painting you as a monster is unacceptable because you won't give her (someone you barely know) hundreds of dollars of baby things. She can hate you if she wants to, but she's not allowed to try and make everyone else hate you, too, especially when it's lies.
RJack151 said:
NTA. Tell her that she should be asking her family for things, not a coworker of 3 months.
Cali_Holly said:
NTA. There are SO many charities that she can go to for baby stuff. Also, Facebook or any other SM where people offer stuff up for free.