'AITA for becoming the fun weekend parent?' 'I will always be there for an emergency.'

"AITA for becoming the fun weekend parent..."

TW: abuse

When I was married, I was the primary parent. My now ex worked in landscaping and traveled a lot. He was not hands on with the kids. He was like fine China.(Looked at on a display but not used except for important events.) When he was home he didn't want to be bothered and only showed interest with the kids when other people were around.

After years of his mental and emotional abuse he became physical. I left and took the kids. He decided to file for full custody and tried to get my rights terminated. We would spend three years in court and I was out litigated. I did not have the money to continue the battle.

He couldn't get my rights terminated but he did get full custody with me having EOW, EOH and summer vacation. I pay CS, health insurance and half of daycare, school costs. Our six children now range between eight to 22.

He is upset I won't plan the children's doctor and dental appointments and take off work to take them, take them to and from school when he is running late, pick them up when they are sick or drop everything to watch them whenever he wants.

He had to downsize his business to be within 45 minutes of the children's school. I switched jobs, I used to work at my children's school as a nurse, now I am a traveling nurse. During the week, I travel to different sites and am not always home. Now that I am the non custodial parent, I can focus more in my career.

I will always be there for an emergency and am a phone call away during the week, if my children really need me. But I now get to be the fun parent. We have a blast on the weekends and I am able to take five weeks off so we can spend the entire summer doing fun things.

My ex has been complaining to everyone about how I just abandon my family and I'm making the children suffer. Our older now adult children have called him out on it stating he is just doing what I have had to do for years. So, AITA for being just the fun weekend parent?

Here's what people had to say to OP:

Marzipan_civil said:

NTA. He wanted full custody, he should have considered what work goes into having full custody of six kids.

National-Report-5473 said:

NTA. Let’s be real, he didn’t fight against you in court for the kids, it was just to get back at you for divorcing/leaving him. He now is finding out how much he should be doing and is being the baby in the family about it. Glad your children called him out on his BS. I would laugh at him if I were you haha.

CSurvivor9 said:

NTA. You don't have a choice. But he shouldn't be complaining about you to the kids. Don't you have a ruling on that? I'd contact your lawyer about him making disparaging comments about you to the kids.

FabulousTrick8859 said:

NTA. He wanted full custody and he got it. What a shame for him. And too funny that your older kids call him out on his hypocrisy. I love that you're the fun parent. It must drive him nuts. I don't think he should be crap-talking you and alienating the younger children though. Might need to revisit a lawyer on that one.

Keely369 said:

NTA. Sounds like he wanted full custody as a "win" and to deny you, without considering what that really meant. I'm glad things are working out for you and that the kids are calling out his atrocious behavior. Honestly this was a pleasure to read seeing him get his comeuppance. All the best.

keesouth said:

NTA. He got exactly what he asked for. Play stupid games get stupid prizes.