'AITA for being angry that my MIL bought hundreds of dollars worth of groceries?'

"AITA for being angry that my MIL bought hundreds of dollars worth of groceries?"

I’ll preface this by saying my MIL and I haven’t had the best relationship in the past. A year into dating she tried to give my now husband an ultimatum it’s either me or her. I told him that’s stupid and manipulative and he called her bluff. Things were rough for a few years but we dated for 2 more years and now we’ve been married for almost 8 years. Things have become cordial between me and my MIL.

Anyway cut to now and she is visiting us from out of state. Even when she said she wanted to come out I had my reservations because a few days after they leave I have to leave for an international work trip so I knew I’d be working a lot trying to get everything prepped while they were here.

My husband and her still decided it was the best time for her and her bf to come out for 8 days from Tuesday to the following Wednesday. I cleaned the house, set up the guest room, planned out meals and bought all the ingredients for when they were visiting.

Keep in mind my husband has to go into work but I work from home. Which means for a majority of the time it’s me in the house with my MIL and her bf I’ve only met twice. Makes me feel mildly uncomfortable but whatever.

I planned for about 70% of the meals for when they’re here, assuming they’d want to eat out too. The foods I planned to cook included chicken pot pie, Bulgolgi beef bowls, paneer biriyani, biscuits and gravy, etc.

To be fair my MIL and her bf are very Filipino and prefer Filipino food. My husband and I are both half Filipino, but I was raised in a much more Americanized household. Other than a couple dishes, I can’t stand Filipino food. The way it smells or anything. If my husband wants to cook Filipino food I encourage him to because I know that’s what he grew up eating, but I don’t go out of my way to cook it.

Aside from the occasional craving for the food he had as a kid, my husband also doesn’t think Filipino food is all that yummy. But I did try to stick with foods I knew she’d like - plain American food and Asian foods that my husband agreed she’d enjoy.

And to be clear, I am a great cook. I grew up in a home where meals were either fast food or microwaved so cooking healthy and yummy food is really important to me. When I cook for friends or family it’s always a hit.

They’ve only been here 2 days so far and in that time they keep telling me not to cook. I’ve been telling them it’s not a problem, I already have all the ingredients. Still they’re acting like there’s no food in the house and only eating the food that I’ve already cooked as a last resort.

Today MIL and bf told me they were going to walk to the Walmart to pick up a couple things (10 minute walk from our house and they like to walk). I told them it was likely to rain and offered for them to use my car thinking it was going to be a quick trip and I had work to do.

They were gone for 2 hours and brought back like 15 bags of groceries. When I asked the bf “What’s all this?” They said they were going to cook a bunch of Filipino food. I told them we have food and they just laughed. Then she went straight to the kitchen and started cooking without even saying anything to me.

Keep in mind I had food prepped for them at the house already before they even left. I had made a quiche for breakfast and chicken salad for lunch so literally all they had to do was go into the fridge and reheat or put into a sandwich. Plus I spent a bunch of money on perishable ingredients for the week.

I know I have a short fuse with my MIL given our history and I’m pissed at my husband for putting me in this situation. I told him I’m over it and to figure out ways to entertain them cause I really don’t want to spend any more time with them.

I feel unappreciated and like a guest in my own home. She’s cooking rn and the smell is already getting to me so I think I’m just gonna pack up my laptop and go to a cafe or something to work and let my husband deal with it.

Note: she’s visited before and the lack of Filipino food/types of food I prepared wasn’t an issue until this trip. But I’ve calmed down a bit and ya you guys are right I’m angry over something inconsequential. It was more just the straw that broke the camels back where it was the timing of their visit and the lack of consideration towards me during the planning of their visit that was really frustrating me.

Here's what people had to say to OP:

live-fast-eat-trash said:

NAH. But in the future, you really need to put your foot down and tell your husband it is strictly his responsibility to feed, entertain, and clean up after them.

ERVetSurgeon said:

NTA. Put everything you can in the freezer, cook up the rest and freeze what you can. If they maked the mmess, they clean it or your husband does. It is 6 more days. Let hubby know that next time they come, you will be taking a girls only vacation.

susandeyvyjones said:

NTA. My husband is Filipino American and also dislikes most Filipino food. Also his mother is a terrible cook. So I feel your pain. You don’t have to eat what she makes, and you have extra reason to not host her next time.

TossOffM8 said:

Take it as a lesson learned. Don’t buy food for their visits, you’re just wasting your money.

ForwardPlenty said:

NTA. Taking over your host's kitchen is incredibly rude. It is time for them to relocate to a hotel. You can take the opportunity to toss what they have bought. Your husband can entertain them from here on out.

Jerseygirl2468 said:

NTA, but you know you have a short fuse with her, so I would just try to let this one go. Eat the food you made yourself, and if they want to spend their money on groceries and their time visiting cooking...oh well. Shut your door and concentrate on work, and try to ignore them.