'AITA for being pissed at my friend for taking my late baby's name?'

"AITA for being pissed at my friend for taking my late baby's name?"

2024 my husband and I were expecting our first baby. I was 5 months pregnant went had a placental abruption and my baby passed away after I had an emergency c-section. I was devastated and depressed. I'm still grieving & have a hard time being around babies and attending baby showers.

After being 2 months postpartum, my husband's cousins' GF asked me if we could talk because she went through a miscarriage at 5 or 6 weeks and she wanted someone to talk to about her grief. I was not in any shape or form to discuss the topic of pregnancy. I did tell her I am not the right person to be asking because I am not in the best shape to talk about it.

She begged me because she needed mental help. So I consolidate her. But in my head, I'm angry because she was practically comparing how we both had "similar" experiences. She was well aware of what we named our daughter btw. We had chosen the name after myself and my husband. It was a combo of our own names. It was perfect.

Her and I made Day of the Dead altars for our babies last year, bonded, got closer eventually. January 2025 she tells me she's pregnant and can't wait. Mind you, I'm still grieving, but I'm happy for her. She finds out she's having a baby girl. This August 2025 she told that she's having medical complications and will have to deliver sooner than expected.

Her SIL and I are planning a surprise brunch for her, also planned to set up a baby corner and clean her house. I go over one day to take her fresh juice and this beautiful arrangement of flowers I had ordered for her. She goes into labor 2 days after I saw her. I go to the hospital but I don't go into the room because I'm still GRIEVING, but I want her to know I'm there for her.

2 weeks pass, my husband and I go to the friend's house to see the new baby. We take her homemade food and I had ordered a bunch of things for her and her baby on Amazon that were going to come afterwards because she couldn't have a baby shower. So, we are sitting there talking and I ASK HER, what did you name her? She says "Isabella Guadalupe Socorro" the great nanas names.

She laughs and her BD does too and he keeps saying yeah that's her name. 3 weeks later, I'm doing her MIL's hair and I ask her about the baby and I said it's nice they named her "Isabella Guadalupe Socorro." She LAUGHED & said " NO, they didn't name her that. They named her Amelia, or Emilia?"

That is the name of MY BABY. I'm pissed. I went to her house the next day and asked her why she chose that name and she says, "I FORGOT." WHAT?! I have the name tattooed on my arm, I have her on my IG bio. WE BONDED LAST YEAR. She said, "idk who told you the name. I told only 5 people and it was supposed to be a secret. You weren't supposed to know."

OH thank you for sparing my emotions! But screw you. There's NO WAY she would've forgotten because if she had, she wouldn't have tried so hard to keep it a secret from me. So, am I the ahole for being angry at her for using the name? I think I'm right for being pissed.

Here's what people had to say to OP:

sissyjones said:

You need to exorcise this woman from your life like the soul sucking demon she is.

DinoSnuggler said:

NTA. Nine times of out of ten I would've told you "you don't own a name." You're the one out of ten. Your friend knows what she did, and she deserves your anger.

BoringBadger9687 said:

NTA. The fact that she and her partner laughed about it when telling you a fake name is just horrible. They couldn't even own up to it to your face because they knew it was weird. No one actually owns the name itself, but the whole way this went down is so insensitive. Screw them honestly.

Soft_Remote_1511 said:

NTA. while you don't own the name, if she didn't think it was a big deal they wouldn't have lied to you about the name.

Sdarklight said:

NTA. This girl is NOT your friend and she has proven that. Time to cut her out honestly.

Possible_Ad_5717 said:

NTA. You were done dirty. The fact she tried to hide it from you tells me she knew that was she did was wrong. There are millions of names she could’ve chosen and she chose the name of your child. She is not the friend you thought she was. I’m so sorry for this awful situation.