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Best friend skips surprise wedding for dog, 'she felt I had chosen my pet over our friendship.' AITA?

Best friend skips surprise wedding for dog, 'she felt I had chosen my pet over our friendship.' AITA?

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"AITA for Skipping My Best Friend’s Surprise Wedding?"

My best friend Emma and I have known each other since high school. We’ve been through everything together, from breakups to job losses. So, when she told me she was planning a “special event” and needed me there, I didn’t hesitate to say yes, despite not knowing the details.

Emma has always been unconventional and loves surprises. She hinted that this event was going to be “life-changing” and “a testament to love.” Given her flair for the dramatic, I assumed it might be an elaborate proposal from her long-time partner, “Jake.”

The event was scheduled at a remote, picturesque location about four hours from where I live. The week of the event, my life turned upside down. My dog, who’s been my companion for over 10 years, fell critically ill. It was touch and go, and leaving him wasn’t an option for me. I was devastated, torn between my responsibility to my pet and my commitment to my best friend.

I called Emma two days before the event, explaining my situation and how I couldn’t make it. She was incredibly understanding at the time, or so it seemed. I thought everything was fine until the next day, when mutual friends started posting pictures of the event—it was Emma’s wedding, a surprise wedding!

I was shocked and heartbroken. I would have loved to witness one of the most important days of her life. But the situation with my dog was something I couldn’t ignore. Emma, however, didn’t see it that way. After the wedding, she sent me a long message expressing her disappointment and hurt. She felt that I had chosen my pet over our friendship and that missing her wedding was unforgivable.

Since then, Emma has been distant. Mutual friends are divided; some understand my predicament, while others believe I should have made every effort to attend, regardless of the circumstances. I’m left wondering...AITA for choosing to stay with my critically ill pet over attending my best friend’s surprise wedding?

Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:

IrrelevantManatee said:

Your friend made the decision to keep the nature of the event a secret. She caused that situation by depriving your from your ability to choose wisely and with all information available. NTA. Your dog was sick, and in your mind, you were only missing a party. Your friend can't be mad at your for missing an even she didn't even inform you about.

jrm1102 said:

NTA - The pet takes priority. Not only that, you communicated this to Emma in advance of the wedding. If she was going to be this upset, that was her chance to say something.

Robbes_Watch said:

NTA. You had a tough decision, since it was touch and go but also sort of "hurry up and wait," from what it sounds like. I think you would not have enjoyed the wedding, worrying about your dog (who sounds like he survived, thank goodness!).

Also, I think if your dog had passed, and you had not been there at the end, you'd have felt terrible. As a dog owner who was there with my dog at the end, I'd say your friend is missing a sensitivity chip and doesn't understand your predicament. Would I be correct in assuming that she is not a pet owner (that is, a "pet guardian" or "pet custodian" like you)? I know a number of folks who have never owned or been responsible for a pet, long-term, and who feel the way Emma felt.

Hippopotasaurus-Rex said:

NTA and if it were me, any one of those “friends” who have a problem with me staying with my critically ill pet, wouldn’t be a friend anymore. I don’t have a desire to be around people who have zero compassion or critical thinking skills. Seriously? Who gets mad at someone for missing anything for a medical emergency?

I personally wouldn’t feel even a little bit bad. Emma had plenty of opportunity to tell you what was going on when you called her days before. And even if she had said it was her wedding, I personally still wouldn’t have gone, given the choices.

tryjmg said:

NTA. NTA even if you did know it was her wedding. Your dog was sick and possibly dying. Being there for him was the right decision.

cathyreads123 said:

NTA Sometimes you (her) have to tell people even if it’s a surprise. If your friend had really wanted you there she could have said I am so sorry about your dog, but since you can’t come I just want you to know I am getting married. Or something along those lines.

She's the AH for not telling you why she wanted you there and for being unsupportive about your pet. She also sounds self centered and wanting to create drama. She should be able to say, “I’m so sorry you weren’t there, it would have made a good day better but I also understand your pet is family. I hope he/she is ok.”

WVPrepper said:

NTA. If she had confided in you when you told her you were not sure you could make it, things might have turned out differently.

Everyone was on OP's side for this one. What's your advice for these friends?

Sources: Reddit
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