Best man brother-of-the-groom mentions going out with the bride in speech; AITA?
Even if it's an adorable meet-cute of a story, mentioning that the bride is your ex in the Best Man speech isn't usually recommended...
Still, there are always exceptions to every hardcore rule of wedding etiquette 101. So, when a conflicted former Best Man decided to vent to the moral compass of the internet otherwise known as Reddit's 'Am I the As^hole,' people were ready to weigh in.
AITA? In my best man speech I recounted that I went out with the bride before she got together with my brother...
So a couple of years ago my twin brother Ric and I met his now wife Nikki through mutual friends. I liked Nikki and asked her out, she said yes, we had coffee and a great time.
I asked if she wanted to go out again, she apologized and told me that she thinks I’m a great guy that’s why she gave going out with me a shot but for some reason it’s Ric that she’s attracted to (Ric and I are identical twins).
I didn’t expect that but it was fine because it wasn’t as if I fell in love with Nikki at first sight and was already planning the rest of our lives together. I also thought it was cool that there’s this awesome girl who likes my brother because Ric was always the quiet and introverted one and didn’t go out much. So I set them up, they clicked instantly and last month they got married after dating for a few years.
A lot of the wedding guests know how Ric and Nikki got together so I didn’t think it would be an issue when in my best man speech I joked that Nikki knew which twin she wanted from the get go and recounted how her shooting me down during our date led to me setting her and Ric up.
Nikki laughed while Ric said that I became his favorite brother after I set them up (we have no other brothers).
However, after the wedding my girlfriend was mad and told me that it was completely unnecessary to bring up that I went out with Nikki. She said it’s disrespectful to everyone and I should’ve just said that I set them up.
I think it’s more amusing to know the whole story and that my girlfriend is overreacting (it was one time and literally all Nikki and I did was drink coffee and talk) but I wanna know how people who don’t know us look at this.
Here's what the jury of internet strangers had to say about this mess:
Philautia_Ludus said
NTA the bride and groom were fine with it. It’s their day, and if they’re happy then great! Sounds like a hilarious story, your girlfriend is just upset you spoke about going out with another woman.
Norwinus said:
NTA. Obviously your brother should be the one who gets to decide if this was hurtful. He and his spouse sound amused so you must have hit their humor on the head. Good for you. Your gf sounds a little envious here.
Tomato_Tomat0 said:
NTA. It’s a fun anecdote, and as long as the bride and groom liked it, that’s really all that matters. Your girlfriend is creating an issue where there isn’t one.
terpsichorebook said:
NTA. If Ric and Nicki are happy, the rest of the people should just shut up. At their own weddings, they can judge whomever they want, for whatever speeches they want.
But this was Ric and Nicki's wedding, and it seems that they are perfectly fine with what you said.
xolympia said:
NTA, The joke is cute, the “she knew which twin she wanted” type thing. The couple actually getting married/families are the only people who this story would “embarrass” knows already, and only if you slept with her it would be in poor taste which you haven’t.
It’s a wedding, stirs up emotions, your girlfriend could just want you to have focus on her is my best guess.
ray_1025 said:
NTA....kinda seems as if maybe your gf didn’t know about the situation beforehand, and if she did maybe she was hurt by you bringing it up now.
She’s feeling a little insecure, so while you’re NTA in the scenario posted, you kinda were the a%hole to your girlfriend. She’s feeling a little unappreciated.