Woman catches BF's mom stealing her debit card at funeral, gets scolded. AITA?
"AITA? I’m Pressing Charges Against My BF’s Mom After She Stole My Card Info"
ImaginarySetting1856
So I (22F) am dating Greg (25M). His mom is Lisa (70F). Last month we attended a funeral for a family member of Greg and Lisa. After the service, everyone was mingling in the fellowship hall and eating, and Lisa stepped out for a smoke break.
I happened to see her, through one of the open church windows, get into the back seat of the car while lighting her cigarette, and then she started rummaging in the large bag that I brought along.
I didn’t thing anything of it, as I had brought the bag so I could carry any extra things anybody needed, including lighters for instance. So, I thought that’s what she was fishing for. I went back to socializing and supporting Greg. Something that is relevant, but that I forgot at the time, is that I had left my wallet in that bag.
Anyway, I stopped by the gas station two days later for some gas, and realized I was missing my card from my wallet. I used ApplePay so I could get my gas, went home, and started searching.
I also called Greg, who was at his parents’ home, and asked if he could search there and see if I misplaced it somehow. I only take it out of my wallet if I’m using it and the put it right back in, but, I thought that maybe I was shuffling things in my wallet, put it down, and forgot about it.
I didn’t find my card, Greg didn’t find my card, and I decided to give it one more day before I canceled it because maybe it would just pop up. I had also not noticed any transactions through my bank app that weren’t from me.
The next day, Greg texted me saying he found my card on top of the washer. He said he doesn’t know how he missed it, but it was there waiting when he went to do some laundry. I told him I’d get it from him in a couple days when he came back to our apartment.
The next day was pay day, I checked my account to see what I made, and I noticed directly below the direct deposit was a withdrawal for an Amazon order. I haven’t placed an order for anything from Amazon in weeks, and checking on my account confirmed that.
I asked Greg if used my card to make a purchase, and he said no of course not, he would never do so without asking. I canceled the card and reported potential fraud, and then it was discovered that LISA has used my card for the purchase because she couldn’t find hers.
She said she would pay me back soon, and that she really needed it. I don’t know what she bought, but I don’t care considering she STOLE my card. She also apparently has a history with gambling and stealing.
She has taken money from Greg before, and a driving factor of her divorce with Greg’s father was that she stole most of his savings while they were separated. He has never recovered the money, but it was almost half a million.
I decided I would involve the authorities, and now Lisa is furious and saying I’m being a brat and a lot of other insults and that I could have just waited for her to pay me back. Even though she also has a reputation of not paying people.
No, Lisa didn’t have Greg at 45. She and her now-ex-husband adopted him as an infant. No, Greg was not “in on it”. Yes, he’s on my side. Also, I didn’t come here for financial advice, so please stop giving it. I do not care what your opinion/advice is regarding my lack of credit history.
Here were the top rated comments from readers:
International_Yam_80
Obviously NTA.
Did Greg know about this and did he warn you about it?
The OP responded here:
ImaginarySetting1856
He did tell me about her stealing and her gambling problem, yes. That’s why I know. Neither of us thought or expected her to be the culprit when my card went missing though. Probably just didn’t want to think too badly of her. That’s over now though.
BulbasaurRanch
NTA. She stole from you, then tried to turn it around and make you the bad guy? No thank you. You did the right thing by involving the police. She broke the law, and your trust- she should get charged for her actions. Don’t back down here.
Dusty_Porksword
NTA - You have to press charges to report the fraud. Don't try and collect from a thief, let the authorities sort it out. Block her, and I would look real hard at how your BF responds to this before I let myself get to invested in that relationship.
Whatever-and-breathe
NTA - What is your bf position on this? because this is going to be very telling in regards to your future relationship with him.
"I’m being a brat and a lot of other insults and that I could have just waited for her to pay me back."
Well since she didn't ask permission, didn't say anything or offer to pay back the money until after she was caught, and as a track record for not paying up her debt, I would probably just have laughed in her face ... But she can always explain this to the cops, I am sure they will be very understanding... 🤦🏻♀️
Diligent-Comfort-191
NTA. She stole your card and used it fraudulently. It wasn't an accident or an oversight. It was a deliberate choice, and not an isolated one.
As for being a brat: just noise from an entitled fool trying to make herself the victim.