'AITA? My BF says I 'cheated' but we agreed to an open relationship while I'm abroad.'

"AITA for hooking up with someone else after my boyfriend(22M) and I(22F) agreed to an open relationship for my time abroad?"

My boyfriend (22M) and I (22F) had been together for a year when I was accepted into my dream Master's program in the US. The thought of a two-year separation so early in our relationship was daunting, especially since we're both people who need a lot of physical affection.

After many long, difficult conversations, we agreed to a temporary open relationship while I was away. We set very strict rules...it could only be physical with no emotional connections, protection was mandatory, and we had to inform the other person that something had happened within 48 hours, without sharing names or details.

The first few months here were incredibly difficult and lonely. After about three months of trying to adjust, I met a guy at a club in the college. We had some chemistry, and I made it crystal clear that this was a one time, purely physical thing.

We went back to his place, followed all the rules, and that was the end of it. It meant nothing emotionally. The very next day, sticking to our agreement, I called my boyfriend and told him that I did it.

I expected him to be upset, but I thought we could talk through it because we had a rules for it. Instead, he absolutely exploded. He completely ignored our agreement and started shaming me. He asked how I could be so "cheap" and "easy" after only three months, accused me of just wanting to sleep around the whole time, and said that America had clearly turned me into a bad and promiscuous person.

He claimed the agreement was a test of loyalty and that he never thought I'd actually go through with it. He has now broken up with me and is telling our mutual friends that I'm a disgusting cheater. I feel like I'm losing my mind because I followed the exact rules we both created. AITA?

Edit:He was the one who asked for an open relationship. We had a talk before I came to the US and I said that we should break up because it wouldn't last in the long term. But he proposed the idea to counter it.

This is what people had to say to OP:

ConflictObjective670 said:

Who asked for that open relationship?

OP responded:

He did.We had a talk before I came to the US and I said that we should break up because it wouldn't last in the long term .But he proposed the idea to counter it

Rawka_Skywaka said:

When they other person uses the phrase "test of loyalty" just run. Friendships and relationships should not have loyalty tests. Its manipulative.

Current-Feed7873 said:

The likely answer is you got some faster than he did (he may have struck out repeatedly, even) and he's in his feelings about it. He wanted you to pine and you didn’t. He wanted you to want only him and that didn't happen.

NTA. Find someone cute and communicative to be with.

BippidiBoppetyBoob said:

NTA. He’s an idiot. You’re better off without someone who pulls bullshit like that. Relationships that are real don’t have stupid ass “secret tests”. If he didn’t want you to explore your options, he should never have agreed. I have zero sympathy for jackasses like your bf. You’re better off.

Available_Bag_6759 said:

NTA - he asked for an open relationship he got it. He didn’t get laid as fast as he thought he would. That sucks for him. But you did nothing wrong. It is a tale as old as time where men open relationships thinking they’ll hook up everyday ( 🙄) only to realize they are not that desirable. Oh well..

V65Pilot said:

Men, TBH, often fail to realize that women can literally pick and choose sexual partners at will. Simply because there are always guys that are just DTF. It's harder for guys, simply because of that same reason.